Chasing away Chubby

Maybe its the winter blahs…

But I am down.

BF and I had been doing so well after the cheating incident.  But the last week or two he has returned to his “cave.”  What is bothering me so badly is that he is completley inconsiderate of my needs…and I have needs!!!  Last Saturday night I stayed at his house.   We had started a little something in the livingroom and he got his- if you get my drift.  He promised to reciprocate later when we went to bed.  Well he goes to sleep during the movie and so when we go to bed, he says in the morning…fine.  (Did I mention it had been like a week since we had done anything.)  Yeah.  SO anyway he gets up the next morning and starts taking trash out,etc.  I thought he would come back to bed, but no.  So I got completely pissed off. I mean PISSED off.  So I didn’t stay mad long because there are more important things in life besides sex….ADD is good for forgetting why you are mad.   :)   So then we stayed with him last night.  We had Really good sex for about 5 mins then he jumps up to finish cooking.  Later on the couch he starts it again, and I tell him no…I wanna have sex, not just finish him off.  Well needless to say, he got his again and I didn’t get mine.  So that again pissed me off, and I was in a bad mood all day.  He just treated me like a dumbass all day.  I was frying eggs for the kids and he was bitching at me at every little thing that I did.  Like who can mess up frying eggs?  And it was just like that all day. Little stuff.  And then if I got mad he would laugh and try to make it into a joke which of course just made it worse.  I am just so sick of it.  What the fuck happened to the caring, attentive, guy of a week or two ago.  Why can’t I have him all the time???  I would marry that guy!  This guy is a dickhead!  I mean no one is perfect and trust me, BF has some major issues.  But I can put up with the issues if he treats me good!    But I can’t deal with any of this if he is an ass.  I just can’t.  I tried to talk to him after I got home and OF COURSE, he didn’t want to talk about any of it.  He just wants off the phone because he doesn’t want to fight which just makes me crazier because DAMN IT!  I wanna talk about this!  I NEED to talk about this!

Another thing that pissed me off is when we were leaving he wouldn’t help me.  We got 8-9 inches of snow with about an inch of ice on top of it. Then some more snow.  Its really slippery in spots and the boots I have to wear (I don’t have snow boots) are faux-suede boots with a 2 inch heel.  They do pretty well as the heal is rubber, but still I have turned my ankle a couple of times.  Not bad just enough to scare me.  Anyway, DS5 is sick and running a fever of 102+ degrees and I am trying to pack him to the car which is across the street which has not even been scraped (think 9 inches of icy snow) and is on a hill that I am walking sideways on.  He just walks on to the car and doesn’t even bother to help me.  Just leaves me to it.  With me bitching at him the entire way.  I could have fallen.  He has snow boots and had NO trouble walking on the ice even if he was carrying a 40 pound 5 year old in his coat with his 2 blankies, and a purse.  It was just so selfish of him, and upsetting that he doesn’t even have the forethought to think of his sick child, or me who could have fell down on the ice and slid down the hill.

I don’t know.  It’s TOM.  Am I just being a bitch?  I am really hurt by his behavior.  I told him I was, but it goes in one ear and out the other with him. IDK…I am just so over this.  It is times like this that I just wanna walk away and chuck it all.

Food was awful today, but in my defense BF did not have anything healthy to eat.  But before today I had been doing better.  I have been eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies and eating healthy stuff.  But today was a smorgestborg of horribe things.  I ate 3 pieces of bacon 2 Low fat biscuits with gravy, 3 (EEK!)  glazed donuts (lunch), 1 piece of pizza, and a chicken pot pie.  Horrible horrible horrible.  There is not one nutritionally sound thing in that entire group of food.  Gross. No wonder I feel like just going to bed!

Which I think I will do now.

G’night all.

Posted on January 29th, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General