Chasing away Chubby

This morning I am still upset with myself over the binge yesterday.

I’m not a dummy.  I know how to lose weight I have watched Linda, Mel, Nikki, and many others here lose their weight and keep it off.  I know what it takes… I know that I can’t eat crap and still lose weight. I know that I can’t eat crap and not exercise and expect to maintain a weight loss.  But if you had seen me you would have known I tried.  I fought digging into the candy bowl for an hour and a half.  I should have held on for a little while longer. But when everyone starting getting up getting seconds or thirds at the pizza table (I got my 3 pieces all at the first trip) I relented and got into the candy bowl.  I’m a self sabotager.  That’s what I am.  216 was within my reach and I blew it by eating everything that was in my sight! I have to start recognizing why I do these things.  The pizza was spur of the moment, I mean I didn’t even think about NOT eating the pizza.  The candy I tried to stop myself.  And then I was so upset with myself I began eating everything in my path.  Wrong decision…wrong reaction.

So I will remember to eat light on days that I have seminar because now I know that they will have food!  I will treat whatever I eat at seminar as my dinner.  And I will push any such candy bowls away from me and ask the girls to keep it away from me. I don’t even like milk chocolate anymore!  I think I am not going to eat until later today in view of what little control I seem to be having.  DS17 is getting his braces off today and I will probably take him out to eat to celebrate.  Plus, I am not hungry anyway.  So I will pull out the sassy water and drink it and some other water and try to do a good job keeping myself busy.

In light of having to face cafeteria food everyday starting next week I may go back to eating my 1 meal a day thing.  BEfore anyone jumps on me. Let me explain.  I am not a planner. I try.  But I’m not.  I am not a cal counter.  I also need a plan that gives me a modicum of self control without making me feel that I am deprived.  I am a binge eater.  A mostly recovered binge eater- but a binge eater none the less. I did my one meal a day diet a while back and was crazy successful with it.  I lost 25 pounds.  Then I let what other people thought, and my own weakness to start allowing me lunch, and after that it all went to hell!  My weight loss ground to a halt and I gained all but 8 pounds back.  I am now back down to 10 pounds, but last night proved that I need a structured program that will keep me on the straight and narrow.  I think I need to go back to the one meal a day program.  I had a name for it.  I will have to look back through my blogs and read what I called it.  Here’s how it works.  I drink whatever I want during the day…water, juice, tea- mostly water.  I don’t drink soda so that is not a problem.  I can also eat jello if I want.  I get one meal a day which is usually dinner and I get to eat WHATEVER I WANT.  DO not worry about me not getting enough calories!  That has never been an issue with a binge eater!

Yep, one meal a day…that’s the answer.  And like Miss Mel told me awhile back “if it works for you, why do you care what others think?”

Indeed.

Workout will be tonight as I am crazy, busy, cleaning today.  We got a little snow (like an inch- Apparently we southerners can’t drive in snow) and school was called off.  DS11’s B-day is tomorrow and he has some friends coming home with him.  So we are all cleaning today.  I am glad to have the extra help.

Weight today was 218…up .6 of a pound.  Still hoping to see 216 by tomorrow!