Chasing away Chubby

I began the day on a good note. I had a delectible Lunch of a ham and turkey sandwich with swiss cheese and green pepper slices with Dannon strawberry yogurt with sunflower seeds and blueberries stirred in,  an afternoon snack of  a SB meal sans the jello.  Dinner would be with BF, but with the good things I had eaten I should have been fine. I had my first student teacher seminar tonight and I walked into dieters hell.  Pizza from my favorite pizza joint on one table and a bowl of chocolate in the middle of the  other table!  I had 3 pieces of pizza and 2 mini Kit kats and 2 Hershey kisses. I did drink water with it. However  I took one kitkat and a kiss with  me and ate them on the way to BF’s.  When I got to BF’s, he and the kids had waited to eat dinner with me so I couldn’t blow him off.  I ate a few baked fries and 2 small pork ribs.  That should have been the end of the binge but it seems I couldn’t stop.  I have eaten some Grippos BBQ chips, a WW eclair, and a clementine. I feel disgusting! My gut is hanging way out…bloated from all the carbs.  Final weigh in for the week is tomorrow and I blew it!!  I BLEW IT!  I wanted to reach 216 tomorrow, but now will probably show a gain!  DAmn!  Why do I not have any self control?  At least from now on I will know that on seminar days I will have to cut back during the day since we will have food at night. 

I am nervous about starting student teaching.  I know I shouldn’t be.  I am a teacher. But I know me.  I am also a self saboteur.  For some reason I have a hard time succeeding. I often quit before I reach the finish line.  I have the biggest finish line of my life before me.  I am scared to death that I am going to screw it up.  On top of that I am about to begin a 5 day a week torture session with school food.  There is nothing worse than school food for your waist line.  Some schools have salad bars so I am going to check to see if the school has one and if not I am thinking that I will pack my lunch most days and avoid the cafeteria at all costs.

I still have a graduation goal.  I have to figure out a way to stop eating and stop self sabotaging myself and start making my dreams come true.

I found a 3K I wanna do In Lexington on March 14.  I need to start training now if I am going to do it.  The race benefits Habitat for humanity so my money will be for a good cause.

I go Friday to meet my supervising teacher for my student teaching. She said she would give me a book for every subject so that I would know what they would be covering.   Again, I am scared but I know what I am doing.  I can soooo do this.  I just have to shut up and do it.

Tomorrow I am getting my butt up out of bed and I am going to work out. No more excuses.  I’m gonna do this.

Posted on January 7th, 2009 by lodyangel
Filed under: General