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frustration

Posted lodyangel on November 8th, 2007 | Filed under General

In July I lost 8 pounds.  In August I lost 8 pounds.  In Septemebr I lost 8 pounds. 

In October I lost a pound!  A pound!  Not to be crude but I could take a dump and lose 2 pounds!!

So far this month…I’ve gained a couple. 

What the hell is wrong with me?  How could I go from completely kick-ass focused to barely hanging on, clawing at the clifff, ready to tumble back down into fatdom?  WTF?

I have been trying, but I can’t resist the urge to shove everything in my mouth.   I have been trying but can’t seem to get my workouts in.  I know I have not been making my diet and my exerise my #1 priority.  I once read in a magazine that to lose weight it HAS to be your #1 priority.  So with my job..teaching…really 2 jobs in one, going to college full time, being a single mother to 4 kids, trying to run my household,…just having time to workout and concentrate on me is hard.  

How do I get my focus back?

How do I stop eating?

I wanna be thinner, I wanna be healthy, I wanna weigh under 200 pounds.  I am right there on the threshhold. 

Before everytime I would get close to success, I would sabotage myself.  Is that what I am doing?  Sabotaging myself?  I think it is.  I have to be stronger then this.  I have to be stronger then my lazy self, my food addiction, and my out-of-control life.  I have to be strong.  I have to put myself and my diet and my exercise and my health first. 

I like feeling thin.  I like wearing large shirts instead of XL.  I like wearing size 16’s instead of 18’s, I like that I lost 25 pounds.  I wanna lose 48 more.

I can do this dammit! 

I can do this!



4 Responses to “frustration”

  1. anngirl Says:
    November 8th, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    damn good girl - you’ve accomplished so much with so little time and resources! You are right to honor your achievements and expect more from yourself.

    You can do it boo. You probably plateu’d a bit and that will move once you alter the food a little and keep up your exercise (remind me of this shit when it happens again to me ok? I’ll want to quit myself. It’s so fucking grueling).

    But sweets - you’re doing an excellent job and have accomplished so much. Guess what, you keep this shit up till the end of the year and then we can reconvene to see if you should stop. Ok. I’ll be busting ass too so you won’t be alone.

    We can do it. Let’s set a goal of like I don’t know 5 pounds by December ok?

    You rock - don’t let that fucking scale get the best of you. You hang up a size L shirt in the room and look at it daily. it’s what we worked so hard for - to take our shit off and keep it off.

    You rule Ms. Melody.
    You’re my hero!
    xoxoxoxoooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  2. soclose Says:
    November 8th, 2007 at 10:47 pm

    Ok, in 4 months you lost 25 lbs–I’d say you’re pretty amazing. In 8 months I only lost a little more and 5lbs. was the most ever in a single month; and I’ve plateaued (June) and actually gained since Sept.. You also have huge obligations and responsibilities to juggle along with the weight loss. You are right, I think, put yourself first. I think a bunch of us need a kick in the butt, so you’re not alone. I think Anngirl’s idea to go all out for 5 by Dec. is excellent and I’ll join you if I can get up the nerve to step on that damn scale tomorrow—I’ve been avoiding it like the plague for weeks, how sad is that? Anyway all we can do is to keep on.

  3. baileysmomma Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 12:30 am

    Yes, you can do this!!!!

    My life has been a crazy mess this past week too. It seems I could have wrote your post myself!

    We can get back on track, and I think your right, we need to make this #1 priority, but its so hard when so many things are going on and so many people need your attention.

    ((HUGS))

  4. round Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 4:56 am

    Weight loss can be very frustrating when the progress isn’t fast enough, or when the plateaus arrive. 3 months of 8 pounds is actually extraoridanary — congrats on the one hand, but caution on the other — you may not get back to that pace again (weight loss is often fastest at the beginning when there is the most to lose). Don’t give up hope, but try to measure your success by something besides the scale.

    Hang in there, you’re on the way!

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