Chasing away Chubby

Todays update

Posted lodyangel on July 8th, 2007 | Filed under General

This is me going to Josh’s Prom.  He is younger than I, I think I was 22 in this picture.  I had already had one baby.  Look how hot I was!  I remember thinking that I looked fat!  What the hell was wrong with me?  Anyway I weighed about 10 pounds more than my goal weight in this picture, so I am using it for inspiration.  Not that I ever think I will be able to look 22 again, but some of the proportions of that body are possible with the right diet and exercise.  I look at that picture and I just wanna cry!  Why did I do this to myself?

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I walked today for about an hour.  I ran some too.  My sis makes me run, which gets my heart rate up, but I really don’t think my knee is ready for it yet.  With my humungous weight pounding on my joints it can’t be good.  I read somewhere that you should weigh 180 before running to prevent joint damage.  Since I already have arthritis I am trying to heed this advice.  However, there is no doubt that running shapes you up quicker than anything else. 

I used to be a runner.  I ran track and Cross country in high school.  I miss it soooo very much.  I dream sometimes about me running.  When I dream it  is so carefree and pain free!  I run like I did in high school, fast, long, and endlessly.  I once ran 16 miles.  I wish I had never stopped.  If I hadn’t I would not be so fat today.  I just wanna get my body back!

I hate feeling fat and ugly.  I hate how I feel clumsy, and off kilter.  I have fallen more in the last year than I had probably in the last 10 years because my balance is off.  I read somewhere that I need to strengthen my ankles to prevent falls.  I will work on that. 

Well off to bed with me.  We are going walking/ running again in the morning.  I wanna ice my knee before bed.