giving it a little bit of

Oh my god. What is wrong with me? Seriously, I’m smart, a good worker, reliable, punctual, friendly, positive and well presented! I just want to shake the whole of London until they give me a FLIPPIN’ JOB! I can’t go on for much longer in my current position. I’d rather sleep in a gutter.

I’m so mad and unhappy right now. Maybe I should take up boxing.

These aren’t even difficult jobs I’m applying for. Any idiot could do them! Of course I don’t say that at interviews, but it leaves me wondering what it is about me that is so unsuitable. Is it the way I look. Part of me thinks that yes, it is.

ANGRY DANCE!

I can’t survive here on my current earnings and I don’t want to go back to Australia. Why didn’t I finish my freaking degree? Either of them? People look at my CV and must see me as some kind of no-hoper. Then they look at me and see someone who can’t even take care of themselves.

I’m sick of sponging off my sister and her fiance, and they must be sick of it too. What am I going to do? Just keep going I suppose. What a depressing thought.

I just want to be lucky for once. But I suppose you’ve got to give  yourself opportunities for luck. There’s no luck so potent that it would seek me out in my little room in my house. I’ve got to grow some balls and get out there.

I want it all and I want it now. That is my problem.

I’m just so tired of not being successful at any aspect of my life. That’s why I suppose I’m really pinning my hopes on this weightloss thing. If I just get that under control all the other things in my life will fall into place, right? I know that’s not the case but I hope it makes some other things easier.