I’m back.  I was on the eliptical at 5:30am this morning.  I did HIIT for 30 minutes.  I’ve already had 1.5 litres of water.  I pre-made my lunch of baked/broiled pesto crusted salmon and veggies (zucchini, yellow & orange pepper, broccoli).  My mind-set is ready.  I’m just ready.

Something clicked yesterday and as the day progressed I realized that I make mediocre food choices because I CHOOSE to make mediocre food choices.  I CHOOSE to eat peanut butter cups.  I CHOOSE not to drink water.  I CHOOSE to eat out all the time.  I CHOOSE.  Damn free will.  *shakes fist*  So now I’m choosing me.  I have to choose me because who else is going to choose me other than me?

Admittedly seeing Molly yesterday as slender as I want to be - a girl who lost a person in body weight through Weight Watchers - kicked my ass into gear.  I know this sounds ULTRA petty but I’m human - I was slightly envious of her because she SURPASSED me in weight loss and she’s EXACTLY where I want to be but I fell off the horse whereas she stayed on it.  Now with that being said, she’s a sweet girl, very kind, so I have no animosty towards her but admittedly a tad bit angry with myself because IIIIIIIIII could’ve been her 6-7 months ago.  BUT …. I’m letting that go.  I’m going to be ME exactly the way I’ve always wanted to BE ME in the next couple of months.  And that’s a promise to my heart. 

I’ve pinpointed my ‘monsters’ and other than Chinese food, EATING OUT is a monster for me.  I LOVE eating out and the reason why I love it so much is because I CAN’T cook to save my life.  Well, I suppose that’s not true because ANYONE can learn how to cook, I’m just too lazy to cook.  BUT that’s changing because I’ve put together a book of recipes I got from the 3FC Forum and read through a couple of cookbooks I’ve ‘collected’ over the years and discovered that MOST of the recipes are a cinch to make.  SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to seal the promise to myself I’m LEARNING how to cook that way I’ll have complete control of what goes into my body.

I suppose another monster of mine are my very own loved ones.  It’s not like they do it on purpose but my one girlfriend Priscilla LOVES to eat out so naturally THIS is what we do almost twice a week and this must stop.  My boyfriend is another one however as of late he’s been great at letting me eat my own thing during my own time without feeling like I don’t want to eat his fare.  And my last loved-one-food-monster is my very own mom.  *snickers - shakes head*  The woman is perpetually buying Cheezies or take-out Chinese food or Lays potato chips not because she craves them herself but because she KNOWS I love them!  It’s almost like her own way of showing me she loves me in spite of me telling her NOT to buy those things.  She’s a very stubborn woman at 73 years of age and also ultra-sensitive so I just don’t say anything anymore when she comes home with danger foods.  But it doesn’t make it easy for me does it?  Nope it doesn’t.

Identifying my ‘monsters’ will help me maneuver around them as well as possibly squash them because I’m so ready to fulfill the promise I’ve made to my heart so many years ago.  I’m ready.  So I choose me.  I choose kindness for myself and kind foods for my body.  I choose me and I’m all that matters right now.

Program:

Cardio:  30mins of HIIT

Breakfast:  1 cup of Special K Almond Vanilla crunch with brown rice milk, water

Snack: 1 nectarine, water

Lunch:  1 serving of pesto-crusted broiled/baked salmon, lightly sauteed veggies (zucchini, yellow and orange pepper, broccoli), cantalopue, water

Snack:  1 banana, water

Dinner:  ?

I know I have mad fruit but I refuse to believe fruit is bad for you so fruit it is for me today!