…again.

I weighed in at 223.something.  Why have I slowed down soooo much? Oh well, half a pound is much better than nothing.

Wow I can’t believe I have been at this for 15 weeks already. Weighed in today at 223.8. That’s okay considering I have been stuck around 225 and 226 for what seems like ever!

I started smoking again yesterday. You notice no one ever tells you when they start smoking, only when they quit? Well I started. I know I shouldn’t have, but without cigarettes there is a void I can’t help but fill… and I was filling it with food, no matter what I tried. If I gain back my 43 lbs that will destroy me. That would be 3 and a half months wasted. If I gain 20 back I would be at 240-something. If I quit March 20 I should be lighter and a gain if any wont be so horrific. I know that is the addict or junkie coming up with these rationalizations but it is what it is.

Going to start calorie cycling today to see if it helps lose a little quicker. I’m losing an okay amount, but there have been a few weeks with no loss and I really hate that.

Daughter’s birthday is tomorrow. No idea what she wants for her birthday dinner. She keeps going back and forth between spaghetti and corn dogs. I think all she really cares about is the cake anyway.

Losing very slowly. Actually as of today I am up 2 pounds from last weigh in. Weaksauce. I don’t know what the deal is, I am on plan.

Quit smoking yesterday, so far so good. It isn’t nearly as horrible as it was last year when I tried with zyban. This time I am using the patch and gum when necessary. I even go outside and smash the long butts my Mother in Law leaves laying around.

Last year I stared at the wall for 3 days and finally gave in and smoked on the 4th day. I am pretty sure I am going to stay quit this time. Waking up to a 2 pound gain didn’t make me smoke this morning, I don’t think anything could be worse than that!

Quitting makes me lightheaded and kinda ditzy. From what I understand it is from blood cells rapidly expanding and repairing themselves… don’t know how true that is but if this is an incoherent mess, that is why.

226! 40 lbs down! Aww yeah!

July was a pretty good month, if you look at my daily weigh in graph it was a little scary, It was up and down all month, but I ended at 226 and the scale gave me a reading of 225.8 and 225.6 a few times. I stick with the first number it gives me twice. I thought a Tanita would be accurate all the time but I must stand on it a little different every time I recheck.

My plans for August are to keep doing what I am doing right now, but I haven’t decided if I am going to keep weighing in daily or switch it to weekly. I suppose it doesn’t really matter. On August 23 my daughter starts the 5th grade, and since she can’t handle walking long distances I will start walking that day while she is at school.

I am still terrified of hurting my back again, but I figure I will walk either daily or every other day. ( I don’t want to get burnt out) and then start the C25k sometime. I haven’t decided when… Maybe at 199. I’ll have to think about it a little bit.

I gained a pound last week. What… the… crap? I am so not impressed. I did really well for the most part too. My son turned 3 on Thursday and I didn’t count that day, but I know it wasn’t horrible.

Oh well, there’s always next week…

Still here and still losing, just not posting as much as I want to. I love to read other weight loss blogs for motivation, and had grand ideas for making the next new inspirational blog myself, but I don’t think I have it in me. I haven’t even taken any decent pictures.

I’ve lost 33 lbs in 10 weeks. 42.9 BMI to 37.6 BMI. 12.4% of my weight gone. I think I am doing pretty well.

Still not exercising. I hurt my back really bad in November when I quit dieting last time. I went to a chiropractor but he was a QUACK and never looked for a different one, and never ended up going to my regular doctor either. I am terrified of hurting it again. It was brutal. I think that once my daughter starts the 5th grade in September I will start walking again. I can’t do it now or else I would have to carry her after 1/2 a mile, she can’t handle long distances and she is almost 10 so I don’t have a stroller or anything for her.

I know I will be okay walking, but my dream is to run the Liberty Days 5k next 4th of July. They ran right by my house and I sat on my porch smoking a cigarette watching. Next year I want to be on that road running. I will start the Couch to 5k program after I walk for a while. I have never been able to run because of shin splints, but I will figure something out.

Weighed in at 245.8 this morning.  I do think I would have weighed in a little less this morning if it hadn’t been for the ribs I had last night. My husband and I went out for our 10th anniversary. Time FLIES!

I did something pretty impressive (for me) at the restaurant… I stopped when I was full. What a concept! I don’t think I have ever actually brought a takeout bag home. EVER! But last night I did, with at least 7 ribs in it, and when we got home I gave them to my Sister and Brother In Law. \o/  Yay me!

Weighed in with only 1 pound lost last week. Weaksauce. I had been sneaking peeks at the scale and Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I gained 1 pound. 252, 253 and 254.  But official weigh day was 250.8. I wonder why it was so low all the sudden? Oh well, a loss is a loss and I am happy with that.

At least I assume they do. No one has actually come right out and said so anyway. I don’t say things like, “I can’t wait until… (fill in the blank regarding weight loss)”.  I don’t because I think someone will say something about the fact that I rarely if ever make it past the 2 month/30 lb point.

I think everyone thinks I’m going to quit. I am not going to quit. Just to prove those people wrong. Even if they really aren’t thinking it. Even though they probably are. I think maybe I am. But I am not going to quit!!!!!!

Just wanted to let that out.

Weigh in tomorrow.

Ok so my last post last November (!!!) I was scared that I was losing my motivation. Well I did. It was gone, and I let it go. I let myself gain ALL 26+ lbs back between December and May. Seriously. I am totally kicking myself in the ass.

Plus side… I have lost 11 lbs since May 1st. Doing it all over again, and I have a slightly different strategy. I am not that into it. It seems odd, but every other time I have lost weight it was so crazy, HUGE changes… different foods, massive amounts of exercising, weight loss tv shows were all I watched, weighing at my sisters, measurements, pictures. It’s all too much. I got burned out. Fast.

This time I am so casual about everything. I am counting calories. If I want to exercise fine, if not oh well…. I watch Biggest Loser whenever I feel like it on the DVR. I have my scale here, I weigh in whenever I want. I haven’t taken any pictures, but I will sooner or later. I just have a “meh, whatever” attitude and I think it helps.  Small changes are better than none anyway.