27thSeptember

Rambling

Almost a month down, lost 16 lbs. Woot, except it doesn’t count until I get to 219. Seriously not impressed with any weight loss that I have lost how many times before. It is great that I lost it, but it would have been better if I hadn’t gained it back in the first place.

So nowadays I am going to the gym Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I am doing  1.5 miles on elliptical and/or treadmill. (How do people go for like an hour?!) I am struggling at the 1 mile point! But then I go do weights, arms or legs depending on the day.

I am supposed to do this until October 17th, that is the 6 week mark and then the trainer at the gym will remeasure me and teach me free weights. I don’t want to do free weights, I like the structure of going from machine to machine, but I suppose they know what they are doing.

Next week I start going 2 miles instead of 1.5 and doing 3 sets of weights. Should be interesting.

I need to get my pictures posted. My sister, mother in law and I took pictures on September 1st, and we will retake them every 6 weeks in the same spot with the same clothes. I should have chose a different color though, I am wearing all black and it’s difficult to see the rolls in the pictures!

I am also going to do something I did last year when I was dieting, I would take out all my jeans. I have A LOT of them, like at least 25 pairs, and I would try them on, and put a note in the pocket with weight and how they fit, then I would retry them in a few weeks and remember how they fit. I remember one said like 245 can’t get over thighs, and then at like 225 they were up but not buttoned. It was fun to be able to remember and actually SEE a difference. I will probably do that October 1st. After I put up Halloween decorations!

Once again… I am starting again. What is different this time? I don’t know. Back up to starting weight (of course). I do have a gym membership this go around though.
It has been 11 days on plan and lost 6 lbs, weigh in tomorrow, but I really don’t give a crap about what I lose until I get back to 219. My lowest weight in who-knows-how-long.
I’ve always been a 1200 calorie counter, this time around I am doing 1500. I can tell already 1500 is way easier. I am going to the gym Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
My Sister and I were talking about how we always do this, and we were saying this is the last time. Either we lose all the weight and move on to maintenance or give up. Forever. Accepts the weight as it is and just quit. That thought both depresses the hell out of me, and motivates me. I can’t keep doing this. Up and down up and down. Ugh. I WILL get to my goal this time. I don’t care how long it takes. From there who knows? But this is a bunch of crap and I am sick of it.

2ndOctober

Week 22.

Been VERY unmotivated the last few weeks. The amount of fast food I have consumed is just disturbing. Gonna try for a whole month on plan in October.

18thSeptember

Week 20

Gained 2 lbs.

17thSeptember

Almost week 20.

WOW am I having a rough time. I don’t know what my deal is this week but I have been horrible. I weighed in this morning at 221.8 and that makes sense today because of the junk I have had the last 2 days. Before that I wasn’t losing either so I kinda gave up Wed, Thurs and today.

I am just having issues I guess. My weight loss slowing down suddenly is really getting to me. I lost quick in the beginning and now that it slowed down so drastically it is just making me feel like crap. I know I need to accept 1-2 lbs a week, but it’s taking some getting used to. When I see the same number on the scale that I saw nearly 3 weeks a go it bums me out.

I was shopping online the other day, and I had a realization that I don’t NEED nice clothes. I don’t go anywhere, I don’t do anything. I watch kids all day. I can’t get a job. If I did I would lose money on paying for daycare. I can’t go to school because the daycare thing again. I have no education and any job I can find has me working past 6, and that’s when daycare is closed and I have no one to watch the kids after that. So now I am feeling a little stuck. I adore my children, but it would be nice to get out of this house.

My Grandpa died yesterday. I didn’t know him very well. I had only seen him like 3 times in my 29 years. I wrote him off and on for the last 10 years. He always wrote back, but I know nothing about him. My Dad and he weren’t very close at all. A few weeks ago I was working on genealogy and I called him to ask him some questions. He seemed fine, a little bit of memory problems, but he was 80. I talked to him for like 5 minutes and then wrote him a letter with new pics of me and the kids. Now he is gone. I am so happy I called him when I did, and that I sent him pictures and stuff. I can hardly imagine how I would feel right now if I had put off calling him or getting stamps. You never know when it will be too late. I will always wish I had known him better, but there’s not much I could’ve done about that.

So anyway. This is why I am bummed out. Why I will probably have a gain tomorrow. I just spent the last half hour planning every calorie for next week. I am making my sister take my scale home with her tomorrow. I am going to stay 100% on my plan for the next week and stay away from the scale and see how that works out for me. I am also planning on doing 30 day shred or something every morning for the next week.

11thSeptember

Week 19

Lost 2 lbs this week. Weighed in at 219.8. Considering I weighed the same amount on August 31, that’s not that impressive, but 2 lbs from last Saturday… I guess that’s a loss.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I keep my calories at 1200. (More like 1300-1400 most days) or bump them up. I know if I ask at 3fatchicks.com I will be told to raise them. Maybe I should for a while to see what happens. The worst that can happen is I wont lose right? Maybe I should keep them at 1200 and just wait for something to happen. Maybe losing 1-2 lbs a week is good and I am just spoiled by how quickly I lost in the beginning.

I have some pictures I think I am going to post. Swimming suit with no face. They aren’t pretty, but it is a 13 pound loss in them and I think they show a difference. Maybe I’ll go do that now.

4thSeptember

Week 18

Lost 1 pound last week. I probably walked about 4 miles? Need to do more or something, this is so slow and boring!

Walked today for the first time, and I used my brand new skechers shape thingies, and I have to say I am happy with that purchase. One foot felt kinda off, but it does say it takes some getting used to.

After being stuck for a while around the 225 area… ( I swear if my scale ever EVER says 226 again I will FREAK out)… I weighed myself today and it said 219. Wooot! I don’t post weigh in’s until Saturday, but if this weight holds I am at 47 lbs lost since May 1st. 17.6% of my total weight gone. I am SO happy to see the 2teens. So So So happy. 3 more pounds (I think) until I have lost my whole 10 year old. Okay so she is tiny, but tell that to whoever is trying to carry her to bed at night. HEAVY!

Hope to keep walking, I may have to learn to go on my own instead of depending on my sister to go with me every day. She’s a working woman now and I don’t think she will feel like going every day.

28thAugust

Week 17

So I lost a pound this week. Still don’t understand the slow down, but oh well. I’ll see how it goes after another month I think, and then maybe try to re-evaluate my eating plan. Right now I stick to about 1200 to 1400, with most days a little over 1300. This week my food has been pretty good, compared to what I am used to. My fiber has been a lot higher and stuff. It didn’t make much of a difference though.

I wonder if I should just go with 1776 like the free dieting website says. That makes me nervous, but what’s the worse that could happen? Not lose? Big deal. Not like I am in a hurry… and I find it hard to believe that I would gain on 1776 calories a day. I think I might think it over….

My sister has been giving me her clothes she outgrows. Most of them don’t/didn’t fit when she gave them to me, so I wrote little notes and stuck them in my pocket with my weight and the dates on them. I tried on the first one today and put them on, zipped them up and then looked at the note. It said 233, can’t zip. WOAH! I was totally wearing them, although they are a little too low for my liking. All in all I think that I can wear 3 of the 6. One had a broken zipper I didn’t know about too. So I threw them out. (I don’t sew). Then I went through my shirts and with MIL’s help I got rid of a LOT of shirts. I am a t-shirt gal, and most of them hang off me, not cute at all. I gotta do some serious ebay posting with all the clothes I have taken out of my closet. I would like to get new clothes, but I suppose I will wait until winter since I don’t really need summer-y types.

26thAugust

Broke a chair.

I lose 44 lbs, and NOW I break a chair. Cute… real cute.