July 11th, 2010
Sometimes you get to live life. Sometimes life lives you and you just hold on. I know I’ve been missing and I thought I’d better take quick moment to check in.
Work has gone from bad to worse. I did my training session with the people in India and I thought I did fine as did my manager, but the people were completely lost. They asked two questions in four hours and one question they did ask at about hour three made it crystal clear they did not understand anything I had been doing the previous three hours. The company is so screwed, but this wasn’t my idea. It was their idea. One of my co-workers has gone on medical leave for eight weeks, which means I now will get NO help more than likely on my client list. That leaves one guy to handle the client with about 3000 devices and me to handle the client with 10000 devices. I don’t even have time to breathe. And I still have to do my usually billing stuff AND hold two more training sessions with India. I was complaining to my manager about my workload before the co-worker went on leave.. I am doing more than cases than the other two COMBINED. Almost twice as many as them combined. Fat lotta good it has done me.
For those of you on Facebook, you may have seen my update about the letter I got from my step father. Yes it boils down to emotional blackmail. He stated how he’s seen my mother crying and upset because I am not there to see her and how she misses me and how “last days” should be happy. Let’s start off with the reason my mother is upset may partially be missing me but I KNOW for a fact that it is my step father’s health that has her stressed out. He has dementia and it is unknown yet if the cause is Alzheimer’s or something else. His kids don’t know, I am forbidden to tell his kids AND she won’t have any serious discussion with me about this. My mother has been married, first to my father and then to my step dad since she was 18 years old. She has never been on her own for more than the year or so between her marriages and is terrified of being alone. The stress of his declining mental health and her fear of being alone have ramped up her anxiety so much that she ended up in the hospital thinking she was having a heart attack (it wasn’t - just stress and acid reflux) Oh and my mother herself is in pretty good health. She has had a minor heart condition her whole life so unless I am not being told something, the statement about her “last days” is just manipulation and pisses me off. They live 3000 miles away from me and he wants me to try and come out twice a year to see them. Um ok, I can afford that. Money isn’t the issue. It takes 11 hours to get there each way, with shuttles , waiting at airports and the flights. I have a fear of flying that has taken hold of me over the past 10-15 years. I have to be medicated every time I set foot on a plane. I hate hate hate being away from home. The whole time I was there last time, I ate and ate until the early hours of the morning until I could finally fall asleep because I was so anxious being far away. She won’t get on a plane and leave him because of his mental health and he won’t fly anymore because he hates it. Well this whole situation sucks. The real kicker is that eventually one of both of them will essentially give me an ultimatum to come visit or else. Their or else would be cutting me out of their lives.. No contact. Yes, they have threatened this before and yes they have actually cut me off. It has happened a few times during my life when I haven’t visited enough. Once it was more than three years so if they tell me they won’t speak to me, they mean it. They aren’t bluffing. I’ve seen my mother do this to people her whole life and she just did it to another friend the past 3 months that she has known for 40 years. Because this woman had made other plans to go on a trip and not come to see my mother, my mom has cut her off. My step sister has been cut off AND disinherited. My family puts the “fun” in dysfunctional, I tell you. I love my Mother because she is my mother but she moved away from me when I was 13 so we haven’t been together much in years. I don’t know what it is like to really have a mother other than in name only. I love her as my mother in name, but not as my mother in practice.. If that makes any sense at all. Frankly, once a year is more than I’d like to spend time with her and I am sorry that sounds mean. It is not because I don’t love her, but she is a stranger and I am trapped in her house doing things I hate. She is why I can never take any time off from work because once when I took time off and didn’t use it to come visit her, she cut me off for a year. God how pathetic I sound! I am an adult and letting her boss me around from 3000 miles away. While nothing has come from her this time, I expect it will sometime in the next few months and that is when I’ll have to decide what to do. As crappy as it sounds, my co-workers medical leave has bought me two months of a reprieve, but my life is more stressful because of the extra work. UGH I can’t win here
Let’s see, what is good? Still going to the gym five days a week! It has helped me hold on during these times. My right leg is showing much improvement so I can finally use both ellipticals at the gym, as my right foot is no longer turning sideways as severely. I still have to watch it and check every few minutes and shift it back a little, but at least the movement is controllable now. Furball and I are doing fine at home. Lots of cuddle time and down time whenever possible. I am most content and the least stressed when I am here with her just being. Naps on the weekends, good food and peace and quiet.
So that’s my big rant and moan.. Poor me.. BoofreakingHoo Everyone has problems and goes through tough times. This is just my turn. I’ll get through it, b1tching and complaining the entire time, but I’ll make it. : )
June 17th, 2010
Afternoon everyone and Happy.. umm Thursday right? I am losing track of the days. Busy busy at work. Boss lady is on vacation so a lot of the stuff she had to handle; I have to handle myself so that means less time for Linda
The week has been fine, but busy. I did find out something interesting. You know how I have been complaining my co-workers aren’t sharing the work load. Well I have concrete proof they aren’t. I ran a report and I am doing almost twice as many cases are they are COMBINED! If that doesn’t convince people, then they can also throw in the invoices I do each month that they don’t do AND the off shoring project, well this just isn’t fair! I am not any more upset by this, but I feel vindicated. I wasn’t crazy! I got my last filling redone at the dentist’s office on Monday so I am good to go on those for another 15-20 years I hope. I went to the gym over the weekend both days and I also went this week on Tuesday and Wednesday as usual. Met with the trainer on Tuesday and had good upper body workout. Yesterday was cardio only day. I’ll be hitting the gym today after work, but no trainer today. She has a fancy black tie event she is going to so she canceled our appointment this week. I don’t like training alone during the week because it is crowded and boring, but I’ll manage. Dinner tonight is southwestern grilled chicken with lime butter and calabacitas. Dessert is popcorn and loquats. A lady a work gave me a BIG box of the suckers.. yumyumyumyum! TV tonight is whatever is on. I taped Hot in Cleveland last night so we’ll see how it is.
And I started this blog 4 hours ago so its time to post and finish. I have to leave work in about 30 minutes,. Gave a nice rest of day everyone and don’t forget to sweat. 1.5 days until the weekend
June 10th, 2010
Afternoon everyone. I have a lull going on so I’m going to take a few minutes to post before someone bugs me. It’s a lovely day here in the bay Area. I walked out side to take some stuff over to anther building so I actually got to see it!!
Work has been busy. On Monday one of my co-workers was out sick and the really annoying part was no one knew.. not any co-workers nor the boss. He didn’t call not r email.. nothing. I am sorry but if you are that sick you can’t do those things you had better be in the hospital! When I got campylobacter and had to be at the clinic for 9 hours and almost got sent to hospital, I managed to let my manager know I wouldn’t be in to work. Sheesh. Anyway, it was crazy busy as he was out on Monday and Tuesday. I got through it though. My other co-worker I think took one ticket each day. I got the rest which was probably 20+ tickets. On Monday I went straight home after work and Tuesday I went to the gym and saw the trainer. We had a good upper body workout and thankfully the gym was not quite as stifling hot. Wednesday was a usual busy day. The co-worker was back but from what I could tell all he did were the tickets that were in the queue before I came in. Other co-worker did none, as usual.. at least from what I could tell. I went to the gym after work for cardio only day and then went home for dinner. I watching Jillian that I had taped the night before because the show is on way too late for me to stay up and watch it. Again I felt the show was fine, but I felt like I was missing something. The editing on this show is really harsh and that probably has to do with the fact the show is only an hour, but 5 minutes after people meet Jillian they are having emotional breakthroughs. It just seems way too fast because that type of things really has to come from some sort of emotional intimacy or am I just terribly off base here? Anyway, the lady and her kids looked great and I hope they keep it up.
Work today has been busy but a little more even keeled than earlier in the week. The normal crises and cries from people that their blankie (Blackberry or cell phone) is broken. After work I am off to the gym for a lower body day with the trainer. Dinner is cardamom chicken and warm potato salad with green beans, red peppers and laughing cow cheese.. yum. TV is whatever is on, washing my hair, making food for the following day and getting some good sleep.
That’s all I have time for. I have some things I need to do before I leave for the day so I had better get to them. Hope you have a nice evening and don’t forget to sweat. 1.5 days until the weekend and just over 3 weeks until the next holiday!
June 7th, 2010
Too busy again to breathe. Weekend was fine but too short. Found this stuff in store. http://www.myarcticzero.com/ The chocolate PB had a nice flavor but was kind of icy. The vanilla had a nice flavor and was creamy.. Got my hair done over the weekend so it feels much better.
4 weeks until the next holiday… sigh.. I’ll try and write more tomorrow Mondays are always bad
May 27th, 2010
Afternoon.. just wanted to get a post in today. Had no time yesterday as it was my first day back at work and I had a mountain waiting for me. It wasn’t too bad, but enough to keep me occupied all day.
My time off was very very nice. I took naps, did a few chores, went to the gym, did a little shopping and just generally de-compressed. Of course I didn’t want to come back to work, but the money fairy didn’t stop by so I came back to work. I watched The Biggest Loser on Tuesday evening and enjoyed it. Was glad to see everyone had lost some weight. Some looked better than others of course. I am glad Michael won. I was rooting for him. Ever since he made me laugh, I’ve liked the guy. He is, dare I say, a real cutie now, isn’t he? I had a really tough time sleeping ion Tuesday night. I normally get up to use the restroom once or twice, but I kept waking u too warm or too cold. It was really muggy that night and that messes with my sleep. Last night was MUCH better. Work yesterday was busy, but not insane. Looks like everything was handled while I was gone, of course the minute I got back the people who are supposed to be working the queue with me, stopped working it. The only two issues they took were the ones that came in before I came to work.. The rest of the ones during the day were all me. I went to the gym after work and had a good cardio only evening. Dinner afterwards was grilled chicken sausage and polenta and lots of roasted veggies – grape tomatoes, zucchini, crookneck, carrots, and onions. I watched a little TV, played online, watched the end of American Idol and was in bed around 10pm.
Up on time today . Had breakfast, got cleaned up and on my way. Work has been fine today. After work I am off to the gym to see the trainer. Oh she talked to my old trainer and told him about the man “lusting” after him on Craigslist. She said she probably shouldn’t have laughed so much when she told him, but that he took it pretty well. Since the guy in the ad said he was super hot, next time I see him I am going to comment on how he is looking super hot today. Yes I am evil! Anyway, today is lower body day so that will be good. Dinner is Indonesian chicken over a little quinoa and an Asian green salad. TV is nothing interesting so I’ll be playing on the computer and annoying the Furball.
Not much else going on.. just looking forward to the three days weekend. Have a nce Thursday everyone and don’t forget to sweat. 1.5 days until the nice long weekend!!
May 21st, 2010
Yay… Friday. The start of a four day weekend for moi! I am taking off Monday and Tuesday because again I will max out on my vacation this month. What a bummer, huh? It’s a nice but cool morning here and I am enjoying it so far.
Work yesterday was fine. It was pretty busy but it went well. I have finished the documentation I needed to and will send it off to the person who makes sense of what I wrote later today. The other people have been covering for me for a few hours each day so that helped tremendously. Of course they only had 3-5 things to take care of so it wasn’t a big stretch, but I think they’ll milk it for all its worth. The poor me-s were out in full force on the call on Thursday. I got what I needed to get done, done I think so that is what mattered. I left work on time and had a nice drive to the gym. I got in some cardio and my warm up and met with my trainer. Thank goodness it was a leg and lower body day. My poor arms were still screaming from my Tuesday workout with her. One thing I haven’t mentioned about her before is that she and my prior trainer used to be an “item”. I think they still are from time to time but I don’t think it is a serious ongoing thing. Anyway, I told her yesterday about the craigslist posting about my former trainer because I knew she would find it as funny as I did.. more so actually since she knows him a lot better than I know him, ya know? Well she just thought it was hysterical and was going to tell him when she saw him Saturday. Heheh I am sure the rest of the gym was wondering what was going with the two of us laughing like idiots. She said she thinks she might know who it is, strangely enough. Don’t know how she might know since the gym is crawling with gay guys so I dunno. Maybe one of them flirted with my former trainer before. Shrug.. anyway, it made for an interesting conversation. After my workout with her, I got in the rest of my cardio and went home for dinner. Dinner was salmon, zucchini, bok choy and carrots and some basmati and wild rice on the side. I had popcorn for dessert and a sugar free fudgesicle. I made my food for the following day, played on the computer and then sat down to watch the first hour of Grey’s. I had every intention of going to bed at 10 and watching the rest later, but once it got starts I couldn’t tear myself away. WOW. What a finale! Scary and good and just riveting! I washed my hair and went to bed late, but it was worth it.
Up on time this morning. I got cleaned up and on my way. Had breakfast here, dealt with a few fires, worked a little on the process documents and then back to working wireless issues. So far it’s a pretty mellow morning. Not much going on today except the usual. After work I am off to Trader’s Joe’s and then the grocery store before heading home. Dinner tonight is either the last of the eggplant and chicken or else whatever I see at Trader Joe’s that looks good AND isn’t too diet derailing!. If I find something, I’ll save the chicken and eggplant for tomorrow. TV tonight is whatever is on and lots of sofa time with the Furball. The weekend is gym, cooking, chores and no church. Monday is a complete sofa/nap day and Tuesday will be sofa. Nap and gym.
It’s getting late and I’m on a long call so I had better publish this. Have a nice weekend everyone and count those calories
May 19th, 2010
Evening everyone. It’s been another goofy week so here I am at home blogging for the day.. Finally. It’s a nice evening and I am glad to be home. Furball is happy too.
Weekend was nice but too short as always. I did the usual stuff and also went to church. Nothing exciting other than me smacking myself on a slant board and giving myself yet another lovely bruise. Monday at work was busy but not crazy. Tuesday was pretty busy. Co-workers were told on a conference call that I was going to be working on procedures and they needed to help cover the issues. Of course they didn’t. When I cam up for air to check, stuff had been sitting there for five hours! I called my boss and asked her what she wanted me to do since she had told me my number one priority was working on the process documentation. She pulled me off that to handle the stuff that piled up. She called my co-worker and I know she was pissed. We had a meting about it today and they both played dumb that they didn’t understand what they were being asked to do at the meeting yesterday. DUH. I think they ignored it on purpose because they never planned to do it or neither one of them was paying attention. My boss FINALLY gets that they both put the other divisions issues first. I’ve been telling her that from the get go and she finally sees it. Anyway, because they were so uncooperative, she had to set up a schedule when they would be responsible for the entire queue of issues.. When I would be unavailable! It’s shame it came to that but when I tried I got stonewalled. I went to the gym after work and had a good upper body session with the trainer. Home for dinner and then The Biggest Loser. Spoilers so leave now if you haven’t seen it. I am really worried about Koli and Daris and those were the two that seemed to have it together. The fact that Koli had to leave his family after a week and go to another state because he was felt too bombarded let me know this man really need to develop some coping skills for the real world/ Daris too. When we saw at the end of the show last week that someone had gained 2 pounds, I would have be money it was Michael . I was shocked it was Daris, but boy do I get that night time eating thing. He is in control and so structured all day long and then at night, when it is quiet and nothing to do.. He went nuts. Poor guy. Anyway, I am rooting for Michael to win I think. I wouldn’t be unhappy if any of them won though
Right before bed last night I was reading Craigslist. I love to read the personals because they are free entertainment/ Anyway, I was reading the Missed Connections area and I saw the title of a post about the gym I go to, so of course I was curious. LOLOLOL. It was from a man who is lusting after my former heterosexual MALE trainer… heehehe and wondering if the trainer is into guys? Oh man.. I can’t tell you how much I giggled at that. Even today it makes me laugh. I’ll have to tell him about it if I see him at the gym this weekend.
Work today was another busy day. I didn’t get everything done but I did make some good progress on the process documentation I think, I didn’t go to the gym after work because I had a dentist appointment to get an old filling re-done.. I know my jaw is going to be sore tomorrow from having it open like that for so long. I didn’t get un-numbed enough to eat until nearly 8pm. Anyway, TV tonight doesn’t appear to be much so I’ll be hitting bed probably in an hour or so.
Have a nice Thursday if I don’t get to post and don’t forget to sweat.
May 13th, 2010
Morning everyone and happy Thursday. Lovely warm day here already. We are supposed to hit 80. I don’t mind it at all when I am out and about, but it makes for a tough evening at the gym. Why don’t gyms use their A/C more when it is warm outside and 200 sweaty bodies inside? I just don’t get it! Just because the workers are cool, doesn’t mean we are!
Work yesterday was fine. Much mellower than it has been. Everything went fine except for a co-worker p1ssed me off, severely. I am really maxed out on my vacation time so every month of two I have to take a few days off. I can only accrue a certain amount and then I stop accruing.. no option to cash it out. Anyway, I sent over an email to my co-workers to let them know I wanted to take the 24th and 25th of this month off. Just to make sure they didn’t have any time off scheduled. I KNEW they didn’t but this is a courtesy we are supposed to follow. Well one &^*#^@$ idiot moron MALE, emailed me back and asked if I couldn’t change my vacation time because Mondays and Tuesdays are busy days and he didn’t think we should take any Monday or Tuesday off! Can I tell you how purple I turned? I mean who the hell does he think he is trying to dictate when I take my time off? He isn’t my boss and even my boss couldn’t tell me to not take off a Monday or Tuesday ever because they are busy. I was good and held my tongue and just sent his email over to my boss for her to handle. I spoke to her later on and she said I am approving your vacation time and she would respond to him directly. The issue is the a$$wipe hates to work and barely does work. This is a new co-worker, but I had been warned about him before by his female co-worker and everything she tells me is true. I told another co-worker about what he didn’t and she couldn’t believe the idiot actually said that. I told my boss I had so many evil things to say to him, but I thought it would be better for her to handle it because what I had to say to him probably would have made working together difficult later. Anyway, that is done. After work I went to the gym for cardio only day. Gosh it was hot and I melted into a freaking puddle. I went home after my cardio and had dinner. Dinner was meatless meatballs, brown rice and Chinese green beans. Dessert was popcorn and a jello cup. I didn’t watch much except a little bit of The Big Bang theory (I adore Sheldon) and I played online a bit. I read in bed for awhile too
Up on time this morning. No help from the kitty getting up. Why doesn’t she bug me on days I REALLY need it? I had breakfast and got on my way. Work has been okay since I got here. Not crazed so I actually have time to blog. No meetings today.. just more process documentation writing and the usual stuff. After work I am off to the gym and leg day with the trainer. Dinner afterwards is the last of the chili chicken, broccoli patties and corn on the cob. Dessert is micro popcorn and a jello cup. TV tonight is grey’s and taping Private Practice. I’ll be making food for the following day, washing my hair and hitting bed around 10pm.
That’s all for me.. it is getting late here so I may not get a chance to comment today. I am glad I got most everyone yesterday though! Have a nice rest of your day and don’t forget to sweat.. 1.5 days until the weekend
May 12th, 2010
Morning everyone and happy no humping day. I’m taking the time to blog now, because today seems like it might be a bit lighter than the past two. Multiple meetings and stuff both days along with writing process documentation have maxed out my work time. And yes writing process documentation is as BORING as it sounds.
The weekend was nice but too short as always. Kitty managed to avoid leaving me any icky Mother’s Day “presents”, but she did manage to wake me up on Sunday by stomping on my pillow and sniffing my head. Sigh. I guess I can’t have everything. I go some naps in on the weekend, cooking, cleaning and two trips to the gym.
Monday was busy at work, as usual but at least it wasn’t crazed. I had lots of meetings on Monday so I didn’t even consider coming here to post. I went straight home after work, and spent a nice evening at home. Boy Howdy was it cold though. We had some rain storm come in late Saturday and I had to turn the heater back on! Yesterday was another busy day at work with more meetings. Meetings are the biggest time waster on the plant IMHO. I left work on time and had a nice drive to the gym. I met with the trainer, on time!! No stupid fitness manager throwing a monkey wrench into my day. It was an upper body day and it went well. One of my delt muscles was acting up again and later on I felt a new knot so gotta rub that sucker out again! I did my cardio afterwards and it was very warm. I think the A/C was off in the gym again. I went home right afterwards and had chicken with Thai chili sauce, broccoli patties and corn on the cob with Cotija cheese.. MMMMmmm I watched The Biggest Loser so spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched it yet! Another good show, but I didn’t or don’t get what the deal was with Tony Romo being there I mean he is a football player, but I would think for the last week on campus they would have had someone well, more meaningful. I did like seeing Helen and Erik. Helen has but on a few pounds thank goodness and looks great and not like a walking skeleton anymore. Erik said he had re-lost 70 pounds, so that is good. I think it was really important for the contestants to hear from him, more than anyone because things went very bad with him after he left the show and they need to be ready. I was and am very concerned about Michael. His meltdown, well let’s just say I can really understand where he is coming from. I have been at this for SO long , still am not at goal and still think I look like crap. You guys can say all you want about how I am wrong, but this is my perception.. right or wrong. I want to kick and scream and get irate like him very often, but who am I mad with? I guess me. I was sorry to see Sunny go home, but she looks great and I think has the proper mindset to get the rest of the way. If Michael doesn’t fall to pieces, I can see him winning this thing. I don’t think Daris and Koli have enough left to lose and Ashley? I just don’t see it for her for some reason. I guess I don’t see the “oomph” in her as the other contestants. After TBL, I went to bed to read.
Up on time this morning. I ate, got changed and on my way. The commute was fine and here I am at work, slaving away. Actually it is not too bad today.. so far. I have no meetings scheduled for today so that helps. After work I am off to the gym for cardio only day. Dinner after the gym is meatless meatballs, brown rice and Chinese green beans. Dessert is microwave popcorn or a jello cup or both if I have room. TV is nothing so I’ll be hitting bed early.. YAY
Have a nice Wednesday everyone and don’t forget to sweat.
May 7th, 2010
Morning everyone and happy Friday. Lovely day.. only going to get better once 4pm rolls around because I’ll be rolling out of here. Well I got distracted and now it’s afternoon.. Oh well
Work yesterday was busy. Had a few meetings so no time to blog or read, I left work on time and had a nice drive to the gym I got in my cardio and then waited for the trainer. And waited. And waited. Where is she? She never is late.. ever so I started wandering around. Another lady was also looking for her trainer and we saw them both in a closed door meeting with the trainer manager. Uh oh. One of the other trainers told us we shouldn’t wait for them so I went ahead with my workout on my own. She finally got out of hr meeting at 5:30.. 30 minutes after my appointment started. She very apologetic and I told her not to worry because I knew her manager was an a$$. I’ve gotten an earful from prior trainer so the fact he would keep her in a meeting and not allow her to leave to notify her client is yet another example of it. She worked with me for 20 minute, no charge to me and then I got in my cardio. Went home afterwards and stuffed my face. I watched grey’s, fiddle around on the computer, washed my hair, cooked food for the following day and went to bed to read. I am reading a new book called Dating Dead Men. It’s a comedy mystery. Supposed to be like Janet Evanovich. Anyway, I only got a few pages in before I had to call it a night.
Up on time this morning to a nosy butt cat. She kept sticking her nose in my face and doing the head walk so I finally got up. Got cleaned up and on my way. Work has been busy but not crazed. I am just getting use to the fact that I pretty much have to work the issues here alone and the other two people are almost no help. Sigh. Some of it is the fact they have other clients to help and they are putting them first.. I’ve seen it. My boss does nothing so I am just shutting up. Waste of my air. Dealing with clients all day who don’t know how to read an email.. so irritating.. I send theme everything, then they email me back asking me a question that I already answered.. and then I say, per my email below I am doing this…” Arrrghhhh After work, I am hitting Trader Joe’s and the grocery store before heading home. TV is whatever it is tonight and I’ll play a little on the computer
The weekend is the usual, gym twice, cooking, chores, naps and Furball time. I’m trying to do simple dishes this week. We’ll see how that goes Anyway, hope everyone has a nce weekend and count those calories so they don’t become implanted on your butt.