Wow…it’s been over 6 months since I’ve posted And of course…my weight’s gone back up… I write today at an awful 287.7 (I think? Cant remember exactly what the decimal was?) My health is suffering and my sanity is suffering. I hate seeing myself naked and do NOT like letting my husband see me…even with underwear on

I started school in January and it’s really taken over my life. But, this can be to my advantage if I let it be. I have the propensity to over eat or eat when I’m bored or doing some mindless task. What I need to do is substitute that snacking and over eating with drinking water or chewing gum.

So here I am, about to restart my dieting and becoming healthy. Wish me luck.

*Sigh* Here I am…AGAIN. For the hundreth time. I dont know why, but I just cannot seem to stick with it! But, I absolutely, 100% need to this time! I just need to be diligent. Amoungst other things as well. God, it seems like i have so much going on in my life, its hard to do everything. And I have this awful awful habit of concentrating solely on ONE thing at a time. Well, it just cannot happen anymore. I need to put my mind in order and start this!

So I come on this blog today at a very hefty 274.2 lbs… I am absolutely ashamed. But I just need to keep my head up and try.  I need to figure out a “good” diet plan, possibly one that’ll coincide with my PCOS treatment. Apparently low-carb is the way to go? I dunno. I can see why they say that. One person I saw on my PCOS support forum said that she has less than 11g of carbs a day, maybe I should follow that rule too. I am going to aim for LESS than 1400 calories a day too. TIME TO GET HEALTHY.

Ive decided no baby right now, or soon. Ive got wayyyy too much to do! I recently applied to college & got in and start in January with my pre & co requisites for Nursing program! My ultimate goal is to become a nurse mid-wife. And it’ll be a long haul, but I WILL get there someday. Just like I WILL get down to 200 lbs someday. Ive got 74.2 lbs to loose, and I CAN DO IT!

The new season of The Biggest Loser starts tonight! So I’ll start dieting when they diet, haha. They of course have been on the ranch for like 4 months already, but w/e. Im gonna do it anyways

So far this morning Ive had my coffee, and havent finished it, though I should since its my “breakfast”. Its cold now, but I am going to go reheat it. I have a nice pumpkin spice creamer, which is 45 calories a serving (tablespoon) and I did 2 tablespoons, so far we are at 90 calories today.

I need to stay on a good path, no matter what it takes! I need to loose this weight, I need to be healthy! My healthy is failing and I am NINETEEN YEARS OLD. Not to mention that I have PCOS, that just makes matters worse. Ugh!

Since I didnt weight myself yesterday morning, I did today and I am at 266.0 lbs. Which is still 5.6 lbs since January, but still not satisfying for me.

Yesterday I did some Biggest Loser Yoga and I only made it through like the first 10 minutes… thats terrible! I then used the excercise bike that here…and I could only do the 1st resistance… truely awful! But I need to eat better and excercise more I guess.

For now, I think I will do the Special K diet again, just to get in an eating routine.  I also plan to do that yoga video if it kills me… from beginning to end.

I have decided that I want my immediate goal to be 16 lbs, bringing me down to 250 lbs, and I wanna do this by the time we go on Vacation (June 20 is when we leave).  I think thats do-able, just over a Month away. So, about 4 lbs a week off if I am doing the math correctly.

Fell off the diet wagon….AGAIN…what is wrong with me?! WHY CANT I DO THIS!? I want to loose weight so badly, and its like… I just cant. I start dieting and excercising and then forget about it! WHY!? I need to keep myself motivated, and just cant seem to stay on track I am ashamed of myself. I was supposed to be 20 lbs lighter by June… I am not…at all.

Well, I have been binging again…so time to go back to dieting!

This morning I weighed myself: 267.4 lbs.

Well, its been quite awhile since I have posted on this blog! Through a slew of marital problems, personal problems and my daughter and I being sick, I havent really had the motivation to diet, but its time to get back on the “Diet Train”! There was a time a couple of weeks ago, where my husband and I were eating out CONSTANTLY and I ate the worst food imagineable, haha, so I gained bunch of the weight back.

My starting weight today is 267.0 lbs. 4.6 lbs from where I started January 6, 2009. Gahh, that was 2 months ago and I have 4.6 lbs to show for it? PATHETIC! But oh well, just time to get back to my diet!

Well, even with eating friggen BURGER KING last night, I only manged to gain .2 lbs! Instead of a burger I got a grilled chicken sandwich.

.2 lbs isnt THAT hard to get off! WHOOO!

I cannot believe it! I weighed myself THREE times this morning and got the same number…. 261.2!! That is 10.4 lbs GONE! I cannot believe it, I am SOOOOOO proud of myself and just soooo much closer to my immediate goal of 20 lbs!!! I am SHOCKED to say the very least but sooo pleased with myself!

Totally weightloss is 8 lbs in total! I dropped an entire pound yesterday! WHOOO! I am so excited! My immediate goal is 20 lbs off, which would be 251.6…and I have only 12 more lbs to loose! Well the Biggest Loser was a total upset last night, poor Dan! But he seems to be doing well on his own 101 lbs lost!!! Thats fantastic!!

Tuesday, January 27th—264.6 lbs

Wednesday, January 28th— 263.6 lbs

Thursday, January 29th— 261.2 lbs

*Friday, January 30th—261.4 lbs

*Saturday, January 31st—

*Sunday, February 1st—

*Monday, February 2nd—

Tuesday, February 3rd—

*= Fertile Days