Okay, confession time: I hit a major pot hole yesterday/today with being healthy. I’m talking crater sized pot hole that included cookie dough, chips and donuts. Jiminy. I know; not good especially with the bp thing. So, tomorrow, I starte new and clean. Just had to confess and be honest and for accountability.

I don’t know why I even did it. Maybe (Oh and Nilla wafers) b/c I was feeling bad and then broke out in a rash but that’s no excuse. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I truly want to succeed in being healthy which means I need to stop sabotaging myself and think of new ways to cope; like prayer or exercise or cross stitching or something other than food.

BP was 160/80 today; some better. Nurse Practitioner wanted to start me on meds today b/c this is the third high reading. But I said no, I wanted to try to control it with food and exercise first. I’m supposed to go back in a month and we’ll go from there. I have to do this; I don’t want to stroke out in a few years.

Oh, they gave me prednisone for my rash. It’s pills. She asked if I wanted a shot, which I usually do but I was so down today that I just didn’t feel like letting someone stick a needle in my derriere on top of everything else. I took some benadryl for tonight and start on the other tomorrow.

The thing about all this that makes me mad is that I did this to myself. It’s not like someone who is bipolar or who struggles with depression. They can’t help the way their brain functions. Trust me, my husband is bipolar and if he could control it without meds, he would. He does what he has to do to keep his chemistry in balance so he can be there for the family. Me, however, I made myself this way; fat and unhealthy. I was so ticked off at myself earlier that I couldn’t see straight. So, I guess I’ll just have to undo it then, won’t I? Still frustrating, though.

 Well, I am wiped out so I’m going to sign off. Tomorrow is a new day. And I just have to be healthy and make good food and exercise choices…..just 4 today.