Lu was born the first week of October and her pregnancy was definitely a trial. My postpartum experience with James was an emotional one, my experience with Lu was much more physically trying. I had the worst back pain and it seemed like even lifting my 7 lb baby was an Olympic event. I fell more and more out of shape in the months following. My doctor insisted exercise was the key to making my back feel better, but I couldn’t understand how I was going to exercise if I couldn’t even get up out of bed without cringing in pain. I got better after I returned to work and returned to a somewhat normal routine, but by this time all my bad habits were in full force. It was the holidays, I was eating like crazy and not working out at all. I didn’t much seem to care. My postpartum size was a size 14 and I was pretty ok with that. And then I started getting bigger. And bigger. Only recently did I reach my breaking point when I’d realized that of the 80lbs I lost 3 years ago, I’d gained back 75% of it. That’s 60 lbs. I’d gained 60lbs in a little under 2 years. I realize I have the pregnancy to blame for some of it, but I mostly used it as an excuse.
My daughter is about to be six months old and I still weigh the same as I did when I was full term. That’s a hard pill to swallow.
In the past 10 days I have already dropped about 6 lbs. I’m pleased but I don’t expect this rate to continue unless I succumb to the bad behaviour I indulged in last time I was dieting. I’m not proud of it. I don’t want to find myself there again. I need some help finding a middle ground.
This community helped me so much last time. I’m hoping to find it again.
Filed under: daily ponderings on March 30th, 2011