Shedding the baby weight…again!

weigh in this morning was 217.4lbs. I guess I couldn’t expect to be back at 216.4 given the week I had. Oh well. Start anew, right?  I think where I’m really falling short is I’m not running a lot anymore. Between the rain, the heat, and the mosquitos, going outside is a really unattractive concept. Every now and then when I go to the MIL’s house I walk on her treadmill but honestly I really hate using a treadmill. It just feels like the same distance takes a lot longer, even when you’re trying to distract yourself with the TV.

The good news is James is clearly feeling better. He’s happier and more like himself.

While he was napping I watched a lifetime movie “Little Girl Lost” and I cried about half a dozen times. I shouldn’t be allowed to watch TV at all. I’m a big baby.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and the smallest tug makes the waterworks start going.  That’s half the reason that even though part of me always wanted to go into Social work or working with children, I feel like I would always come home depressed. Having to take someone’s child away, or having to observe a young child who might show signs of abuse. I don’t think I could do it. I’d probably be great at it until I got home. It’s like wanting to be a doctor when you can’t stand the sight of blood.

The one mainstay for “what I want to be when I grow up” has always been that I want to be a mother. A friend of mine recalls me saying that with great conviction even in the sixth grade. It’s been the one thing I’ve always wanted to be, and the one thing, for awhile, I wasn’t sure I could be. I always knew that I would adopt or foster if those were my only options, matter of fact, I still consider doing that in the future, but I was always terrified I’d never be able to have one of my own. James is a miracle. He makes me so happy and it sounds corny but I just love him so much. It astounds me how much love you can really have for another person.  I want to be around for him for as long as possible, so I need to put my health back into the spotlight.

Anyway so I’m thinking 199 by thanksgiving is definitely possible. That’s a loss of 18 lbs in a little under 3 months. If I’m going to make it, I have to buckle back in and get serious.  I need to wiggle past 215lbs. 215 has always been a plateau for me. I rarely make it to 215 but its even less likely for me to break past it. when I hit 215lbs I’m basically going to hold my breath every time I weigh in until I see 210lbs. Only then will I know for sure I’ve busted the plateau.

Patty, You’re on!

today:

lunch: LC Sweet and Sour Chicken

snack: 1 serving lite tostitos with 1serving pace thick and chunky salsa.

snack: fiber one peanut butter and oats bar (I argue the validity of that peanut butter claim)

dinner: Turkey burger on whole wheat sugar free bun, one serving sweet potato fries, one serving Green Giant Giant Corn Bites.

tonight Rob and I are going shoe shopping! We can’t really afford it but if my honey is going to be standing and teaching all day, he needs to be wearing shoes that aren’t blistering his feet up. We’re dropping James off with the MIL just incase we have some difficulty finding shoes that rob likes (it can take awhile…). On the menu tonight is Turkey Burgers again but we’ll play it by ear. Does shopping count as exercise?!

We found shoes at the second store we visited! Much better than I anticipated!

Filed under: daily ponderings on August 27th, 2008