Leeda: Running in a Fat Suit

Not a good day today.

I was bound to have a bad day sooner or later. It will be better tomorrow!! (or rather I will be better hehe )

That so many people have let their blogs go or deleted them. I hope they deleted them or stop visiting because they were doing so well and not because they gave up. Having had a bit of  a hiatus myself, I can say that I tend to post more here when I am doing well, not worst. (though I know I should post in all circumstances).

Here’s to hoping ya’ll are all well!

Oops, I’m back to weighing everyday. Well today’s weight was 190.6.

I went to a baby shower last night. I was worried that I would eat things I shouldn’t, but I was so busy chasing after my little hellion that I didn’t really have time to eat. We finally sat down to eat and hellion was eating like he was ravenous. He was the only toddler there and the person who’s house it was at did not have kids yet, so of course there was tons of stuff to get into. Someone left a drink out on the table on the edge and hellion spilled it on the floor. I felt like we were destroying the house lol. I felt a little better when the other child there (7 months old) spit up on the oriental rug lol.

Oh and I forgot to mention his 2 excursions to the front door to fling it open and make a mad dash down the driveway. Such fun!

Anyway, at the shower, I did have a couple of bites of fruit and a smidgen of cake and chicken tenders.  I got home before I realized that I’d not had any dinner except for that small amount I’d had at the party and I was a little hungry so I had a bowl of grapes. I felt so…in control. Please, Lord, let it be like this from now on….let this not be a fluke!!

My DH just quit caffeine and has been “clean and sober” for about 5 days now. He was REALLY addicted to it, so I’m very impressed and, I have to say, surprised that he was able to pull it off.  He made a list of why he wanted to quit, so I thought I would do this for my own everpresent addiction: food!

I’ve done this before, but it never hurts to do it again.

1. I want to be healthy

2. I want to live a long time, see my children grow up

3. I want to feel good about myself

4. I want to be a good example to my children

5. As a nurse, I want to be a good example to patients in the community

6. I want to fit into my old clothes

7.  I want to feel sexy

8. I want to feel fit

I was just thinking…I may have to change the name of this blog if I don’t get off my fat ass and go run!!

I’d planned to do it last night, but I’d not slept properly the last few days and went to bed shortly after the rugrat went to bed. I feel much better this morning. I get really irritable without sleep.

Weighed in this morning since AF is almost gone—191.0!!!  Awesome, awesome!

Makes me feel a little bit better. The reason that I was so sleepy was that baby and I went to see his grandparents out of town. While I was there, my MIL watched him for me and I went to browse clothes for the first time in a long time. I went to one store and saw a great looking shirt, size large and a dress that was half off, also size large. I went to try on both of them and was so disappointed when neither of them fit over my huge boobs! It was weird, because Ithought I could wear a large normally, but I went back out into the store and realized I was in a teenager clothes store. Ug, no wonder, the sizes were probably all juniors. What an idiot, huh?

I forgot to post my weigh in from a few days ago. It was 191.8!

Slow and steady!!

I dare not weigh myself today because AF is here and that could never be good news

Since I’ve been trying to practice intuitive eating I’ve noticed so many times where I’ll look at the clock and think “gosh I need to eat ” and then actually THINK about whether or not I’m hungry and be surprised that I’m not. I also noticed that I like to eat in the car while driving. It kind of takes care of the boredom. Once I decided not to stop for any food today I thought I’d be so bored…and I was…but it was quite an eye opening moment for me.

I really need to get back into the working out thing. It’s so hot right now outside I will have to put the treadmill to use tonight. No Mother’s Morning Out this week, so I can’t go running outside unless I take the jogging stroller.

Weight today: 192.4

Come on 180s! Eating has been going well. I went for a walk with my best friend this morning and that was nice. My back is aching pretty bad today, probably from the thrashing 21 month old that sleeps in my bed

I’m going to do progress pictures in a week or so., though I dont’ think there’s been too much difference.

Yay down to 193.0 this morning!

I haven’t even been counting calories lately, just eating intuitively. And exercising. Baby finally got in the Mother’s Morning Out program and though he is still trying to adjust, I simply love it. Last week I was able to go running in the park (3 miles!) and then come home, take a shower, deep condition my hair, shave my legs, and then clean up a little bit. I hope baby starts to enjoy it a little bit more, but I guess it will take some getting used to.

DH’s workplace is going to pay for workers and families to enter a 5k on july 4th. I am so there! I will run my butt off and try to set a new time. I’ve also been doing the firm still and I can see results. I’m going to start posting new progress pictures once I hit 190lbs. I am just happy to be out of the rut I was in.

On a different note, can you believe swimsuit season is here already? Argh !

I had a great bday weekend. DH took the baby to visit his parents and they got back yesterday, which was my bday. I was a little nervous about them going by themselves on an hour and half long drive, but it went well. I also got some well deserved sleep-in time, which I haven’t done in forever. The day before my bday I went with a friend to a Crawfish boil that also had a bunch of bands like Finger Eleven and 3 doors down there. It was great, the crawfish was good and they served it with boiled corn and potatoes, so nothing fatty or bad…except maybe for the spicy stuff, which I dont think is all that bad.

I had terrible cramps friday night so I know AF is on her way. The scale is up to 195.0, but Im not too worried. I had someone that I hadn’t seen in awhile tell me that I’d lost a lot of weight and looked good. That is exactly the kind of motivation I need these days

I’ve decided to re-read Intuitive Eating. I know that I just read it, but I think I need another run through, though I feel myself practicing its principles.

I weighed myself this morning and I was 194.6…so down a little over 2 pounds since my last post. Better than being up or staying the same, so I will take it

Eating has been going ok. Some days I count my calories, some days I don’t, but I dont gorge myself ever and I consider that a big behavior modification. Tomorrow is my bday and I’m of course a little depressed that I can’t celebrate it with a hot body, but it gives me motivation. I really need to get  healthier, because i’m getting older. Youth won’t always be on my side, so I need to give my body it’s own brand of youthfulness by eating right and exercising.

Speaking of exercise. I have actually been working out regularly. Maybe not everyday, but nearly. I’m also not running over 2 miles., though I still want to shoot for that half marathon in december, so I need to get on track (literally!) I haven’t run outside in a looong time. The treadmill is so boring 2 miles is all I can stand, though I am very thankful to have it and that it’s still working.

Anyway, I am still here, still sticking with it. I hope to post more here. You ladies have always been my motivation in this weight loss gig.