Leeda: Running in a Fat Suit

Got the treadmill and I love it! It’s pretty old, but it’s commercial grade and in great condition. I just hope that it lasts for at least a year as I got it dirt cheap. I ran 2 miles on it tonight and felt great.

DH, the baby, and I went out to eat. I got a chicken sandwhich and tried to listen to my body to tell me when it was full. I stopped with almost half of my sandwhich left and half of my potatoe salad. Tonight I had a handful of almonds and feel pretty satisfied, though that gnawing feeling of  “hmm, a peanut butter sandwich sure would feel good in my tummy before bed” Away, satan!

Things to remember:

Exercise makes my body feel better and, in my mind’s eye, look better.

Eating is not all there is to life.

Sometimes babies like to stick things in strange places.

First I want to say thanks for the “We miss you” posts. It really means a lot. I have been avoiding this blog on purpose.

I have been avoiding it because I have been spiraling out of control the last month or so.  I have no idea what I weigh and have no desire to know right now because it will only serve to discourage me, though I can tell by the way my body feels that I have gained weight. I’ve been a little depressed about the whole thing, I feel like a failure in a big way. I’ve not been running significantly in over a month. I get resentful that I have to pack the kiddo up in order to get a run in (not resentful towards my kiddo, but the situation and maybe at people who don’t watch him for me, so that I could run).

The last week has been a little better, I ran last weekend and walked tons. I did the Firm twice this week, but nothing nearly like I’d been doing. I just finished reading intuitve eating hoping something would strike a chord with me in that book and for the most part it did. There are some things that I disagree with, but overall I get the point. Doing it is another matter all together.

We are going to look at a used treadmill today. Hopefully it will be in good condition and we can buy it. If I can get through the boredom that comes with running on those things, then I can start running again in earnest.

I’m still going to calorie count…I just need to learn not to eat “just because”.

I’ll write more later.