I re-read my last post and realized how ungrateful and petty I sounded. I am very thankful for my family and to have people around me who love me. I do get a little frustrated, but I have a life some people would kill for and it was wrong of me to bitch so much about it.
New plan today: When baby takes a nap, screw the laundry, I’m doing yoga and Y!F ! 
I wanted to go running this morning. It’s nice and cool outside and I feel like I need to. Unfortunately, baby woke up last night because his diaper leaked, and wouldn’t go back to sleep until around 4 am…so he slept in til almost 8. That’s way too late for me to get started in the morning and make it back in time for DH to take the car and go to work. (We are sharing one car since the truck is broken down) Also even if I didn’t have to have to the car back, the stupid Orkin man is coming at 10. Sometimes, getting the baby together, getting him fed, dressing him, chasing him, brushing his teeth, etc and then feeding and dressing myself, making sure I have snacks for him, water for me, my ipod, and then unloading the stroller…all that just seems to be so overwhelming every now and then. I just wish sometimes I could just run out the door and not have to worry about all that. I know, I know, I do it everyday, I should be used to it (and I am, most days I don’t even think about it) but sometimes it’s just in my head: Is it worth it?
I am so tired at night I can’t even stay up to have fun by myself. When baby is sleeping during the day, I use that time to clean and do things I can’t do when he is awake, like iron. I nurse him to sleep at night, so I end up laying down with him, always telling myself that I’m going to get up and scrapbook, or play the Sims ( a computer game), but on the rare occasions I do wake up, I end up doing laundry or cleaning the kitchen and by the time that’s done, I always feel like I need to go to bed because I have to be up at 5 or 6am.
But I’m a mom, I knew going into this it wasn’t about me, so I should just suck it up. I do, mostly,but it’s hard not to blow off steam every now and then. I try to tell my best friend stuff like this sometimes, she is single with no kids and I just get comments like “God, I’m glad I’m not married with kids!” How does she think that makes me feel? How about a little effing compassion or just effing listen without the remarks about how she’s happy she can do what she wants. Am I jealous? Yes, I am jealous of her sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I would never give up my husband and son, but damn it’s very hard sometimes.
Adding to my bummed out mood, AF is here, and brought an extra pound to the scale with her. Sorry if I brought anyone down with all this, just had to get it out.