Pressures, stress, and not going off the deep end.

Posted by leannekarella on March 7th, 2013 |Filed Under My Thoughts | Leave a Comment

So, I mentioned about my car issue. I am happy to say that it’s over, solved, not an issue any longer. I got a check from the insurance company yesterday when they took possession of my written-off car.

But, I can say that for 6 days, I was a bundle of nerves.

I have a slight anxiety disorder to begin with, and when life is going well, sailing along smoothly, I’m fine. For almost 3 months now, my entire focus has been on this diet. Planning, preparing, cooking. Life at home has been good. No major issues other than dealing with a teenager’s active lifestyle. (Mom, drive me here, drive me there, where are you, you’re supposed to be here.) You know, life. I can deal with all of this. I have even sailed through my husband’s ever-changing work schedule with minimal issues.

Driving a car into a lake-sized (at least 18” deep and half a parking lot sized) puddle, a car that has only a 6” ground clearance, is one thing. I managed to drive it all the way through the puddle before it completely died, but then it wouldn’t start. So I get on my cell and call my mechanic…is it bad I have their number in my cell? Anyway, my wonderful mechanic, Brad, tells me that I need to get towed in because I most likely have water in the alternator, and they have to pull it to dry it out. It’s not a big deal. I call AAA to come tow me, no big deal. It’s all good.

Then, about an hour after I get home after taking a cab from where the tow truck drive left me with the car…Brad calls me to tell me that water is flowing out of the engine, and he’s not going to do one more thing on it, and I need to call insurance. My engine is shot, dead, un-repairable. I need a new one.

O M G! What??? The engine was the only GOOD thing in that car! (I start freaking out about now.)

This was about 3pm on Friday afternoon. Not a good time for any quick answers from an insurance company!

I did get a hold of them, and they told me they’d send out an adjustor on Monday, and they’d “be in touch”. Do you think I held out hope I’d hear anything on Monday? Heck no! I’ve dealt with car insurance companies in the past. Can you say molasses at 40 below?

The weekend was hell for me. What if they don’t cover the cost? What if, because the problem could possibly have been caused by some post-market changes the previous owner made, they say no, I’m not covered? What if I am covered? I have a huge deductible. I’m not rich. I just had to pay taxes! I have no money left! (This is when the tears come.) Yes, part of my anxiety is that when something goes wrong, I can think of every single thing that could be worse. On top of this, I feel sooooo stupid. I drove into that puddle because I didn’t see it. I turned into a parking lot and into it. The thing is, I don’t drive through puddles. I got water in my alternator once, about 20 years ago, when I was an inexperienced new driver, and so I knew better than to drive through a puddle any deeper than a couple of inches. I go around puddles, not through them, and make comments about idiots that fly through them. They’re going to kill their car! Don’t do that.

Hubby was, as always, very supportive, telling me it could have happened to anyone. Secretly I bet he was glad it was me and not him.

So, back to the diet. I have always been a stress eater, as I commented on previously. I made it through Friday without caving and getting a burger and fries or cigarettes. The huge urge passed, but I did find myself in the kitchen more often that I should have over the weekend. My calories were a bit higher than they should be on IP. I ran about 1150 calories (versus 950 max) and I even made sure my calories were protein and avoided carbs, though I can’t say I wasn’t tempted by the grilled ham and cheese sandwiches hubby and daughter had on Sunday. I have some pre-made meat dinners in the freezer, so I ate that. (daughter is taking a cooking class, so she made potato soup and sandwiches)

Monday, I did fairly well. I was away from home, but packed my IP snacks and stuck with that. I couldn’t really bring myself to cook, so I picked up some baked chicken at the grocery store for dinner. Had some leftover cauliflower mash, so that went with it. Grilled some asparagus. Not so bad, though I’d had a chicken salad for lunch, so yet again, my calories were high, though it was protein. I really craved the security of food, but knew for a fact I did not want to go out of ketosis, so I was very careful to not eat any carbs outside of my veggies.

Low and behold! I got a call around 7pm on Monday night from the insurance adjustor. Long story short (too late, right?) We had to negotiate for a couple of days about what they were going to do with the car. Yes, it was covered, but kind of on the cusp of either a write-off or fixing it. He wanted to fix it, I wanted it written off because I didn’t have the deductible in hand, and (what I didn’t tell him) I have some other repairs that needed to be done to it that were rather extensive. On Wednesday afternoon, he called me to come pick up my check!

It’s now Thursday morning, and I realized I am retaining water and…other things that haven’t moved for a couple of days. I feel kind of…yuck. The one thing I wasn’t careful about over my stress-filled days was water and fiber consumption.

So, I’m back on track today, starting with a big cup of water, some Smooth Move tea, and a “proper” IP breakfast.

Moral of the story. Sh** happens. Stress is part of life. I’m proud of myself for staying in ketosis and not going off the deep end. I also learned that it’s okay to pamper myself a little when needed, as long as, again, no going off the deep end. This is what preparation is all about. I had my already made up dinners in the freezer so I didn’t have to labor and think about cooking healthy. I have my backup supply of IP alternatives, which I did enjoy a few restricted items I don’t normally eat, but still items technically on plan.

I hope everyone who reads this has a great weekend. Next week is in preparation of our trip to San Francisco! I can’t wait!


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