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Hello!
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Of course, everyday is the first day of the rest of my life. But today is different because I am starting a new journey on the path to permanent weight loss.
My weight has fluctuated from 115 to 300+ (my scale only went to 300 so I stopped weighing). I was probably close to 325. Today I weighed 275 pounds. I am bulimic and I hide it well, although there are some who would say a fat person couldn’t have bulimia… I won’t go there yet.
Today I am starting a diet journal - my first blogging experience. We can thank the Julie & Julia movie for the idea. I have always journaled. It really does help to explore feelings and will track the progress of reaching my goal weight of 150 pounds. This time will be different because for the first time ever, someone will actually be reading what I write! I encourage any feedback, rather about diet, exercise, or my questionable sanity.
A little about me: I’m a 46 year-old single mom of a 21 y/o girl, and a 16 y/o boy. My life has never been easy or simple. I am the youngest of five with a typical yet mildly dysfunctional childhood. Looking back, I see a major event at age 13 is probably what triggered the Bulimia. I was thin in high school but gradually packed on the pounds because, as most of us believe, food will sooth our sorrows. DD’s Dad was killed by a drunk driver when she was little. DS, DD and I moved to California in 2007 after I divorced DS’s Dad. Although I am a nurse with a great job, I live paycheck to paycheck and have been cutting it way too close lately. I have not dated since the divorce and don’t think I’m ready to date again. In my spare time I like crafts, cooking (of course), bargain hunting, animals of all kinds, and writing. Someday I’d like to open a craft studio with a tea/coffee shop. Hmmm, that pretty much sums up my life!
Thank you for your support!
12/28/2010 update: Still on the path, still struggling, still looking for the meaning behind all of the weight struggles in my life. I updated the ages for my kids and myself, and my weigh last year was 264 when I wrote, and today it’s 275, otherwise everything is about the same. I’ve changed jobs and returned to the cubical where I was this time last year, which is why I can write on the blog again. It’s difficult to do anything as a home care nurse, especially with hospice. I tend to gain 20 pounds a year working in the field, and lose 20 pounds a year in a cubicle. This year, I need to lose about 60 pounds - 5 pounds a month average. I can do that. Yes I can!
3 Comments so far
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I just started blogging too (but have never written a journal) and, while our stories our different, we are on the same journey. I am hoping that writing and reading blogs will keep me motivated and that this time will be the LAST time. I was impressed that you set such clear goals. Looking forward to watching your progress as you lose:)
Comment by waistingtime 12.29.09 @ 7:05 amI am starting a blog today. I am 46 and also was inspired by the Julie and Julia movie. I saw your interests and thought…wow, that soungs just like me. I call myself “the bargain shopper.” When my husband and I married over four years ago I paid only $22.00 for my dress…anyway, I have three dogs and love crafts, too. I wish I had a friend like you close to walk with and help motivate me. I will try to keep up with reading your blog as I am writing mine. Hopefully, it will help keep me on the right track. Also, when I am on the computer I am not eating! Good luck to you! You can do it! You will be so happy you did. One thing I am trying to keep in mind…a few minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of depression and misery. Food is such a deceiver.
Comment by iwanttobeskinnyagain 02.01.10 @ 10:19 amLeave a comment
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I am looking forward to reading your posts~ it sounds like you and I are on similiar journeys!
Comment by lilith38 12.28.09 @ 1:02 pm