Hello again,

I am back once more, needing support and encouragement after another slip of the scale in the wrong direction.  Yes, I had surgery.  This is where it started to go wrong - Vicodin pain pills!  I was eating whatever sounded good because the pain pills made me nauseated.  Then there is the knee injury and another surgery planned in October to repair a torn meniscus.  More Vicodin.  I hate taking narcotics, but they do help with the pain. 

Just as I recovered from one surgery that prevented exercise, I have a bum knee keeping me from doing almost any cardio workout.  I’ve gained 20 pounds since June and I think I might be getting depressed.  I see a therapist and I got the “hang in there” speech last night, but I have to do something now. 

So I bought a bottle of Alli.  I had one last night and got stomach cramps after dinner.  I took one this morning before breakfast and now I’m nauseated.  Maybe Alli isn’t the answer but I’m desperate!  I think I might go Atkins again for a week or so, just enough to kick start my metabolism and lose the water weight.  Getting rid of fluid would help the swelling in my knee, and then I would feel okay with just Ibuprofen.  It’s a terrible cycle of pain, lethargy, nausea, headache, swelling, and back to pain. 

So if anything, please just say a prayer for me.  I will get through this!!  Thank you!

I’m back.  Had a hysterectomy.  Feeling better but need to get back on track. 

Frustrated because I had written this lovely long blog and accidently deleted it. 

And I’m the tortoise.  3 pounds in a month?  Really?  I was expecting much more to come off.  I admit, I haven’t been doing as much cardio except the 5 mile walks four times a week.  I’m in the middle of a 19 day working streak - that’s a M-F job PLUS two weekends in a row at the second job.  No wonder I’m not losing!

Next month I’ll be reporting a bigger ‘woosh’, maybe even down to 240.  That’s a weight I haven’t seen since 2007… oh so close to it now.

Although my weight is everso slowly coming off, I continue to see significant life changes in my relationship with food.  Yesterday I baked a cake for a birthday party at work.  Not just any cake, but a Hummingbird cake. 

Now if you don’t know what Hummingbird cake is, just imagine a lightly sweet, spicy, nutty piece of heaven in your mouth - with cream cheese frosting.  The miracle here is that I baked the cake, served it to my coworkers, didn’t eat any, and it didn’t bother me nearly as much as one would think. 

Another true lifestyle change - another huge step in my carbohydrate recovery.  I am begining to understand how an alcoholic feels when around alcohol - I am the same with carbohydrates, especially cakes and cookies and pasteries.  Forget the chips, don’t need bread, won’t miss the potatos and rice.  But for me to slice and serve that beautiful cake and not so much as taste it…  I’m very proud of myself!

It seems I don’t have much time to write anymore, all the changes at work are keeping me very busy.

The diet is holding up - true life changes.  Someone brought bakery goods in to work this morning, and I looked at them and said “Yes, those look delicious, but I’m not going to have any.”  It didn’t even hurt to say it.  I’ve gained control, at least partially.  I did ask my son to hide the Girl Scout Cookies in his room and not let me have them. He’s always helpful.

The best part of the changes we’ve made in our diet is that I am teaching my daughter how to cook, and I cook by throwing stuff together not always with a recipe.  She’s a great student and has invented some new and interesting dishes, low carb of course.  The best is turkey wraps with bacon avacodo and cream cheese.  Yum!

Weight is going down slowly, but it’s going down.

I am so excited to tell ya’ll about this!  I didn’t realize what was happening until today, four days after the Super Bowl.  I made brownies as part of our Super Bowel feast, along with boneless, skinless baked chicken wings and raw veggies.  I made two different kinds of brownies - the plain ones my son will eat and the turtles that I will eat. 

I never even cut into the pan of turtle brownies.  My son didn’t eat his brownies either.  They went into the trash last night, untouched, calories averted.  And just now, while sitting here at work staring at a dish of dark chocolate candy (that I am also not eating), it hits me.  I’ve changed.  I’ve really changed this time, and these sweets are not nearly as tempting to me as they once were. 

My new treat?  Dates.  The kind you eat with a dab of cream cheese, or finely chopped and rolled with pistachio nuts.  Yum, my new sweet treat. And sure, cream cheese is fattening and dates do have a lot of sugar in them, but isn’t this much healthier than a brownie with caramel syrup?  Or Keebler cookies?  HoHos?  You decide for yourself.  Oh, and by the way, I’ve lost 25 pounds since Christmas!

I think years of dieting January 1st has me brainwashed that I will lose lots of weight in January, but can eat chocolate by Valentines.  Okay, that may be true on both counts, but it’s no reason to throw in the towel and go whole hog!

Today I’m back in my size 16 jeans, and although I had to lie on the bed and suck it in to zip it up, they’re on.  I’ve got a long way still to go, but I finally feel like I’m on the right track.  So February, get ready.  I’m going to kick some turkey butt so I can wear those size 16 out of the house (I’m too afraid now that they could rip if I bent over, or eventually I’ll have to pee and won’t have a bed nearby to get them zipped back up).

I feel like I’m getting used to the new foods in my diet.  Evidence: ate one of my son’s McDonalds french fries and couldn’t stand to eat another.  They were horrible.  Much rather eat yummy green beans with onion and garlic.  Maybe it’s because my brother had this horrible heart attack in January, but my feels toward food are changing.  My FEELINGS about food - WOW, that’s real progress in my eyes.  So while January hasn’t been the best month for me or my family, it has been good for my health - physically and mentally. 

I’m so ready for February!

My brother has had a massive heart attack last week.  Yesterday he had a stroke.  Please keep him in your prayers - things are not looking so great.  I must say the nurses and doctors at OHSU in Portland, OR are the best I’ve ever seen.

Diet wise, I’ve kind of lost my appetite with all that’s going on around me.  I’m keeping the carbs under 60 a day, including the two glasses of chardonnay last night.  They were needed and with those I still probably didn’t top 60 for the day.  I don’t have a scale in the hotel, but I’m pretty sure I’ve lost weight while here.

A New Year and A New Life! 

I’ve decided that I focus too much on the losing weight aspect of my health, and not enough effort is spent on just being healthy, which would make weight loss a much more natural process.  I knew the carb counting wouldn’t last for long because it’s too much like counting calories or points, although cutting carbs helps control the hunger that goes along with eating less.  I know what I should be eating and I know when I eat something I shouldn’t, and I don’t need the added guilt of going over a number set in my head. 

The question I should be asking myself is: why do I want to eat chocolate cake? why do I crave fast food? and why are salty and sweet foods always tempting?  Fresh, natural food is delicious.  I know this.  I have to wonder if I am a victim of an aggressive advertising campaign by Pizza Hut, or are my Mother’s frugal shopping skills so embedded in me I can’t give up eating cheap foods, which are mostly carbs and salty foods like pasta, rice, broth, potato.  Aren’t I worthy of better fresh foods?

So this year I have decided to go natural and pass on the counting of anything food related.  Isn’t this how Europeans do it?  I will eat what I want, and I want fresh foods, natural spices like basil, garlic or curry.  I want real butter and heavy, grain bread.  I will eat smaller portions.  I will exercise daily.  I will not make this process any more difficult than it needs to be, otherwise I am likely to throw in the towel and binge on McDonalds and HoHos.  I will eat well!!!!!!

I don’t want to be premature in my celebration… but the scale has dropped 8 pounds so far this week!!  I was expecting it because I knew I was retaining a lot of water.  I’m still taking my hydrochlorothiazide (HCTZ), which is a diuretic I’ve been taking for about a year so it probably has little to do with the drop in weight. 

It’s the low carb menu.  (I like saying menu instead of that nasty four-letter D-word.)  Last night I had chicken wings, fried, dried, and baked, along with some green beans and garlic.  Delicious!  My kids are playing along with me, but bean-pole son was eating Oreos last night.  I wasn’t even tempted.  My treat was a spoonful of peanut butter on celery, and even with deep fried wings, my total caloric intake was 1750 yesterday, right on target.   

Plan - next week Phase II: add Cottage Cheese, Greek Yogurt, Blueberries, salads, and other dark green veggies and increase carbs limit to 60 per day.