Losing to LIVE…

OMG I am so sore today! Hilary was doing her lower body workout yesterday at the gym and I thought I would try it with her. It was a really good workout. Its been a LONG time since I have worked that hard. Even though today my body feels like it is dying and I am not sure how I am going to make it through 5 more hours at work and then an hour at the gym, I am SO glad that I did it. I have been in such a slump lately and I finally feel like I am breaking out of it. I think that I will join the Slump buster challenge that Hilary is in this week. Maybe that will give me that extra little push I need. I am now only 34 days away from a surgery that will change my life drastically. I know that the first few weeks will seem like years but after that it should be smooth sailing. I know that the better shape I am in before the easier my recovery will be. So here we go.

~9:50 Update~

So even though I was feeling the burn from yesterdays workout I was able to do the eliptical for 45 min today!! I haven’t done that in weeks. I have been doing the bike that has a chair with a back when I have gone to the gym for the last month or so. Its nice to know that I can still do what I want and it might hurt but I can get through it!

I lost another 1.5lbs this week!!! The scale is finally moving in the right direction!!! I’m not sure if I will be able to make my surgery goal but I am going to do the best I can. Any lose before then is going to help. My goal for April is to take ALL of my meds everyday. Sounds easy right? well for some reason its not that easy for me. So far I am doing great I have taken everything for the last 2 days including my shots. Really the shots are the easiest, no shots= no walking. Hope you all had a good week.

So I lost 2lbs this week!!! This is a huge accomplishmentfor me. I have been going in the wrong direction for a few weeks now but I think that I am finally getting back on track. Last week I only had a couple of slips. On day I had to go to the bank (inside the grocery store) and the donuts were calling to me so I got one. I think that losing the weight this week has let me know that even if i fall of the wagon, so to speak, I can get right back on and not continue down the wrong path. Every second is a new beginning and I think that I have forgotten that in the past couple of weeks. So no more thinking well I was already “bad” today might as well keep it up the day is already ruined. One donut can not break me, but a day of bad eating can really set you back. I say this every week but I think this week its for real. My surgery is coming up and I need to be back on so that I can be my healthiest self for a good recovery.

Just so you know this post is going to share a little TMI.

So I went to the DR yesterday for my yearly physical and everything went great. Except for the fact that I had to sit in the exam room naked wearing a little paper gown for 45 Min before the doctor came in. I was getting so mad but what are you going to do. Not open the door and ask what is going on. I mean that gown is tiny and lets face it I’m not. Anyway during my appt I had to talk to my DR about *TMI* the little cyst like things I get on the inside of my thighs. They are dark almost black with blood and stuff and they hurt to high heaven sometimes. Sometimes they don’t bother me at all but sometimes they get raised and hurt so bad I can hardly walk. My Dr said it was from my thighs rubbing together and that I was doing good with my weight loss and that in time they would go away. She did tell me that when they get raised and hurt I can sterilize a needle and poke it to relieve the pressure. OMG  do you know how much that hurts!!! I did it last night and thought I was going to pass out in the bathroom. That skin is thin and sensitive!! I do have to say that today I feel much better and I am going to be able to go to the gym and work out. So I guess that is just another thing I have to look forward to when I lose more weight.  No more poking !! 

So sorry for the gross story but I really needed to get that out. I am doing much better with my food this week. I don’t expect to lose this week because of last weekend, but I do plan on having a good week so hopefully that means a good number next week.

So this weekend was not as spot on as I wanted it to be. Hil and I were both feeling rather lazy so we didn’t work out at all this weekend. We basically sat around and played computer games and watched TV all weekend. What a waste! We were also WAY off on our eating. When I say way off I mean eating for 4 way off. I am not sure exactly what happened but I do know that I don’t want to go there again. It seems to me that I make myself promises every week to do better but then something (my self control) always gets in the way. I think that this time I am really going to do it. Well at least for the next few weeks, seeing as how I just spent all of my extra money eating out in two days. What was I thinking!!

Yesterday Hil and I went for a nice long walk and had a nice chat about things. I think it is starting to click into place for me so here is to a new and better week.

So its been one of those weeks. I haven’t really felt like doing anything. I haven’t posted in almost 2 weeks I think partly because I didn’t have anything good to say. I didn’t really feel like blogging about how crappy I felt or how much I hated this diet at times. Its strange that you can love something and hate it at the same time. I hate the planning and having to think about every little thing. I have a ton going on right now and with this added it just seems like to much sometimes. On the other hand I love what sticking to the plan does for my life. I like having more energy, noticing a difference in how I look and just the over all changes that I have made to my health. So how do you juggle the good with the bad? Do you just let yourself have the bad weeks or do you let yourself have a really bad day and then get on with things? I am planning on having a good week this week. I have said in the past that I was going to plan my week and stick to it but this week I am going to actually do it. I have the weekend off and I am planning on cleaning house and cleaning out my cupboards to see the food I have and what I need to get while grocery shopping this weekend. I am also going to get some frozen lunches for work. I don’t know why but packing a lunch is hard for me but if I have something easy to throw together it goes a lot better. So here is to a new week hope you all are doing better than me.

So I ended up gaining a pound this week, but I am not going to let that get me down! I am going to plan my meals and make sure that I get to the gym. My plan this month is to make sure that I workout at least 4 times a week. I will most likely do a little more but I wanted to start with something that I know I can achieve. Yesterday at the gym Hilary, Patti and I worked our triceps chest and abs. I am feeling it today, let me tell you. They are going to a trainer and then I learn from them. It has been working well for them so I hope that it works for me. I am trying to get my upper body into shape so that I have more strength for after my surgery. Today I am just going to do a bit of cardio and let my arms rest for a day.

In my head I know that statement is true, but in my heart I want this race to be done fast. So tomorrow is weigh in but I cheated and got on the scale this morning, just to see. I don’t really know what I was expecting but it was NOT that I would be up 2lbs! BOO! I have been doing well this week, I have been OP and been to the gym to work out though I did skip a couple of days. The one thing I didn’t do was plan ahead. So this week I am going to sit down and plan ahead and try not to stray to much. I am also going to make sure that I do all of my workouts even if that means doing something at home instead of going to the gym. This week Hil did a yoga video and she really liked it, I took a nap Now I don’t know if I can do the yoga because of my hip but i can do something other than nap. So we will see what the scale has to say in the morning. I am not going to worry if I do gain I am going to remember that slow and steady wins the race.

This is a saying that I have said for YEARS. I am usually talking to the colorguard girls that I teach about not “cheating” things and to make sure they go full out all of the time. I found myself thinking that I have said that a lot in my life but I am not currently living it. Whether it be a few extra grams of cereal in the bowl or and extra snack without writing it down, I have been doing a lot of these things lately and then I wonder why I don’t lose weight. Its not brain surgery, if you cheat on your food you aren’t going to lose as much weight. So that has jump started me into a new weight loss mindset. I need to lose as much weight as I can and exercise more in the next couple of months so that I can be ready for surgery. The better shape I am in before the better my recovery will be. Somehow I did manage to lose 1.5lbs this week and that really got me motivated to push hard.

So today is the day I go to my orthopedic surgeon to find out about my hip. I am trying not to get my hopes up to high in case he tells me that he doesn’t think I need a replacement yet. I know that my hip is bad so I am thinking that either way he will be able to help me with something. If I am able to have the replacement my life will change so much. I cant even imagine being able to walk and bend and sleep with no pain. This will help my weight loss so much. I will be able to exercise like I want instead of being afraid to push myself to much. So wee will see, I will update later after my appointment.

~Update~ So I just got back from the Drs office and I am getting a new hip!!! It is scheduled for May the 8th so I have a lot of work to do until then. I want to lose more weight and I have to save up some money. I am going to have to be off work for 4 - 6 weeks so that is going to be a little bit of a crunch, but it will be worth it in the end. Even though I really want this it is really scary. They gave me a lot of information so I have a ton of reading to do in the next few weeks.