Losing to LIVE…

So my sister and I are sitting here watching Biggest Loser and talking how well we are doing this time around on our journey to a healthy life. I was going to say healthier but I don’t think fast food, junk and never working out counts as healthy at all. Anywho, I know that I could never do this without her support. Almost my whole family is thin and sometimes I think that my one sister and I are adopted. It is really hard to do something like this without the support of the people around you and I am truly blessed. We get along great although I have to say that was not always the case. If you asked me 10 years ago who would be my roommate and best friend in the future I probably would have named about 5 people and none of them would have been her. My how time and a little distance can change things. Now I can’t imagine what I would be like if she wasn’t in my life. We have a great support system from each other and from the rest of our family. Ok, that is my sappy thought of the day. Now back to Biggest Loser.

Today was a good day. It didn’t start so good but it got better as the day went on. I woke up so stiff. I wasn’t sure that I was going to even get out of bed. So I just sat up and streatched a little and forced myself to do it. I took a LONG shower and just took my time getting ready for work. After I did my shot I started to feel much better and I knew that before long I would start to limber up.

I really didn’t want to go to swimming tonight but I didn’t go at all last week so I knew that I needed to go. As it turns out I am really glad I did. I feel so much better now. The water was warm and working in it really helped my stretch out my joints in a way that I just can’t do outside of it.

So its the end of the month and I am going to set some goals for myself for this month.

1.  Go to swimming at least once a week.
2. Walk or use the elliptical machine 10 min a day when I don’t swim.
3. Take ALL of my pills everyday (that one sounds like a given but you would be surprised at the number of times I forget to take them)
4. Eat breakfast everyday.

So I am 28 but my body thinks it is about 80. I have arthritis really bad in my hips, knees, feet, spine, hands… Basically if its a joint in my body it has arthritis. I give myself a shot once a week so that I can walk and even with that shot sometimes it’s not that easy to get around. Like a couple of weeks ago I had to go to work bare foot because I couldn’t get my hip to flex so that I could put on my socks. Luckly I work with my Mom so when I got there she put my socks on for me, just like when I was a little kid. How embarrassing, even if it was my Mom.

So how does one loss weight if they can hardly walk. You can only lose so much by changing your eating habits. So I talked to my DR about it and she suggested swimming. Of course, why didn’t I think of that there is nothing I would like more than to slip into a bathing suit and parade around the local YMCA watching the buff guys and the skinny girls work out. Plus who really has the money to join when they are single and paying bills and basically just trying to survive. She suggested that I go to the arthritis foundation website and see if they had any classes. So I did and I found a class that would work around my work schedule and also fit my budget! The only problem…..it was at a local retirement village! :( I did not give up, I called and talked to the activities director and got special permission to join the class. Most of the ladies are 65+, as that is the age that you are supposed to be in order to join, but they are really nice and I think that swimming might just be what the doctor ordered.

So a few weeks ago a friend of mine posted some pictures that she took at a barbecue we were at on Facebook. When I saw them I freaked out. I called her right away and asked her to take them down. When she asked me why I said because those are bad pics and they make me look fat, you must have some better ones you can put up. She responded with “Thats how you look.” I’m serious. Just a plain as day “Thats how you look.” I wanted to hit her or scream but instead I just asked her again to take a couple of the pics that I REALLY hated down and she did. Over the next couple of days thats all I could hear in my head over and over. That’s how you look. And then I realized something….That’s how I look. I knew it and have known it for a long time but I never wanted to admit it to myself. Have you ever walked past a mirror and cought a glimps of yourself in the mirror and thought “who is that” only to realize that its you. I have done that many times over but it always seems to catch me off guard. Funny how that works. I have always had a picture in my head of how I looked and I now know that the picture is about 14 years old and in the 9th grade. I am now trying to update that picture so that I can have a better image of myself. I am trying to change my outsides to match how I feel inside. So the next time someone says “that’s how you look” instead of cringing I can just smile and say thanks.