Losing to LIVE…

So Hilary and i decided that we need some help getting motivated. Here’s what we came up with. We both REALLY love the Twilight series and have been waiting for new Moon to come out. So we decided to use that to just start our weight loss. Because of my hip I don’t usually lose as fast as she does so we decided that we will wait to see New Moon until she loses 10lbs and I lose 6lbs. Now that is some GREAT motivation to get going. We also want to see The Blind Side so instead of a weight goal for that one, losing can be VERY temperamental, we decided that we needed some gym motivation as well so we will go see that after we have both been to the gym 20 times and have done at least a 30 min work out. We used to reward ourselves with food, idiots, but that obviously didn’t work. We both really like to go to the movies but don’t go that often so I think making it a reward for hard work will make it that much better.  Come on 6lbs, I REALLY want to see that movie. 

So it has been a LONG time since I have posted to this blog. I have not had the motivation to really do anything weight wise the last few months. Really I’m just lazy and would rather go home and sit and watch tv than go to the gym for 30-60 min. WHY? I am PAYING for a gym membership and money is tight so why in the heck am I not taking advantage of it. Not to mention that I just had my hip replaced and sitting around isn’t part of the physical therapy. Looking back at some of my old post I have noticed a trend, the last few months are post that start with me trying to start again. Well I think that this is the time, I am only about 13lbs from my starting weight and I really don’t want to go back to that. My new hip has already made my life SO much easier I really want to help it out, so to speak, and make it last as long as I can. So Iam not going to say that my journey will be perfect, because i know it won’t, we do have the Holidays coming. I will say that it will be better, and I think that my will power will be stronger. No more secret eating, that just makes me feel like a loser and a liar. I am also going to try to blog at least once a week, I have a tendency only to write the days or weeks I do well, but I am going to try to do it no matter what. I just keep telling myself that this is a process. The experts say that when you lose over a longer period of time you tend to keep it off. So I guess that’s good for me. 

Sometimes I feel like I have two totally different personalities. One who really wants to be healthy and one that just doesn’t give a crap. I am really trying to suppress that little devil! I find out on Wednesday what my doctor is going to let me do at the gym in terms of exercise I imagine it will be mostly water stuff, but I would really like to get on the elliptical again sometime soon. I think being able to exercise will help me get back into the right mindset. It helps that my sister is doing this too, I know that my not caring for the last few weeks has hampered her progress as well. Last week I gained 4.5lbs, barf. I think that I am ready now, I really want to get under the 200 mark, its been a LONG time and I have been hovering between 204 and 210 for a long time. So here it goes.

So getting back on track has been a little harder than I thought it would be. Getting myself back into the mindset of counting points didn’t just come right back. So I am going to try really hard to just keep pushing myself and hopefully it will get better each week. I am happy to say that the month I was at my Moms I only gained 6.5lbs! Last week was my first week counting points again and I lost 7lbs!! so that helps with wanting to get back on track. For now I am just taking it one day at a time.

It’s been SO long since I have posted anything that a LOT has changed in my life. I am going to try to do a quick update and then start to post on a regular basis again. I always do so much better with things when I am accountable for my actions and I love all of the support I have gotten from other women going through the same things. So here it goes…

A few months back I posted that I was going to have hip replacement surgery and on May 8th I got that new hip! I am feeling really good. Better then I have felt in years! I am only 28 so that is young for the surgery but I am really glad that I did it. I have been sleeping through the night, something that I haven’t done in about 6 years! The only pain I have is from the surgery and even that is minuscule, but let me tell you the itching is terrible! My incision itches so bad at times is is hard for me not to just rip into it I just went to the Dr today and he told me that I have to use my walker for another 4 weeks even though I am feeling great. I was a little bummed about that but he said that it would be better for me in the long run. That the longer I stay off it at first the better it will heal and the longer it will last. ( I may need new hardware down the line sometime because I am so young and they aren’t sure how long the hip will last.) So I have to just force myself to stay off it. I am also living at my Mom’s and it is nice but kind of strange. I live in a 3rd floor apartment so it is going to be a couple of weeks until I can go home. My family has been so good to me in my recovery, my sister took a week of of work to stay home with me and because I cant really do anything for myself if it involves carrying anything they have had to do just about everything for me. I thought that they would get annoyed because I have to ask them for things a lot but really they get more annoyed when I don’t ask them and try to do things myself they really are great.

So on the diet and exercise side of things I kind of went of track when I found out I was getting this hip. I got really scared because I wasn’t sure what was going to happen after the surgery and instead of staying on plan I did a lot of emotional eating. So I have gained back some of my weight. Its been hard to stay OP at my Moms house but she is a big supporter of my sister and I so even though I am not counting points while I am here she has helped me to eat well and watch my portions. It helps that she has to prepare my meals I am VERY committed to being on plan when I am home and I know that I can get back into the same mind set as when I started 9 months ago!! Exercising is going to be a little harder. Right now I can only put 50% of my body weight on the hip so that makes my options pretty limited. I have been doing some leg exercise that they showed me in physical therapy and I have been using some hand weights that my Mom has at her house. I am hoping to get back to the gym soon and at least do some of the upper body weights. So that’s it for now, quite a lengthy post but I am glad to be back! I hope that everyone is doing well!

OMG I am so sore today! Hilary was doing her lower body workout yesterday at the gym and I thought I would try it with her. It was a really good workout. Its been a LONG time since I have worked that hard. Even though today my body feels like it is dying and I am not sure how I am going to make it through 5 more hours at work and then an hour at the gym, I am SO glad that I did it. I have been in such a slump lately and I finally feel like I am breaking out of it. I think that I will join the Slump buster challenge that Hilary is in this week. Maybe that will give me that extra little push I need. I am now only 34 days away from a surgery that will change my life drastically. I know that the first few weeks will seem like years but after that it should be smooth sailing. I know that the better shape I am in before the easier my recovery will be. So here we go.

~9:50 Update~

So even though I was feeling the burn from yesterdays workout I was able to do the eliptical for 45 min today!! I haven’t done that in weeks. I have been doing the bike that has a chair with a back when I have gone to the gym for the last month or so. Its nice to know that I can still do what I want and it might hurt but I can get through it!

I lost another 1.5lbs this week!!! The scale is finally moving in the right direction!!! I’m not sure if I will be able to make my surgery goal but I am going to do the best I can. Any lose before then is going to help. My goal for April is to take ALL of my meds everyday. Sounds easy right? well for some reason its not that easy for me. So far I am doing great I have taken everything for the last 2 days including my shots. Really the shots are the easiest, no shots= no walking. Hope you all had a good week.

So I lost 2lbs this week!!! This is a huge accomplishmentfor me. I have been going in the wrong direction for a few weeks now but I think that I am finally getting back on track. Last week I only had a couple of slips. On day I had to go to the bank (inside the grocery store) and the donuts were calling to me so I got one. I think that losing the weight this week has let me know that even if i fall of the wagon, so to speak, I can get right back on and not continue down the wrong path. Every second is a new beginning and I think that I have forgotten that in the past couple of weeks. So no more thinking well I was already “bad” today might as well keep it up the day is already ruined. One donut can not break me, but a day of bad eating can really set you back. I say this every week but I think this week its for real. My surgery is coming up and I need to be back on so that I can be my healthiest self for a good recovery.

Just so you know this post is going to share a little TMI.

So I went to the DR yesterday for my yearly physical and everything went great. Except for the fact that I had to sit in the exam room naked wearing a little paper gown for 45 Min before the doctor came in. I was getting so mad but what are you going to do. Not open the door and ask what is going on. I mean that gown is tiny and lets face it I’m not. Anyway during my appt I had to talk to my DR about *TMI* the little cyst like things I get on the inside of my thighs. They are dark almost black with blood and stuff and they hurt to high heaven sometimes. Sometimes they don’t bother me at all but sometimes they get raised and hurt so bad I can hardly walk. My Dr said it was from my thighs rubbing together and that I was doing good with my weight loss and that in time they would go away. She did tell me that when they get raised and hurt I can sterilize a needle and poke it to relieve the pressure. OMG  do you know how much that hurts!!! I did it last night and thought I was going to pass out in the bathroom. That skin is thin and sensitive!! I do have to say that today I feel much better and I am going to be able to go to the gym and work out. So I guess that is just another thing I have to look forward to when I lose more weight.  No more poking !! 

So sorry for the gross story but I really needed to get that out. I am doing much better with my food this week. I don’t expect to lose this week because of last weekend, but I do plan on having a good week so hopefully that means a good number next week.

So this weekend was not as spot on as I wanted it to be. Hil and I were both feeling rather lazy so we didn’t work out at all this weekend. We basically sat around and played computer games and watched TV all weekend. What a waste! We were also WAY off on our eating. When I say way off I mean eating for 4 way off. I am not sure exactly what happened but I do know that I don’t want to go there again. It seems to me that I make myself promises every week to do better but then something (my self control) always gets in the way. I think that this time I am really going to do it. Well at least for the next few weeks, seeing as how I just spent all of my extra money eating out in two days. What was I thinking!!

Yesterday Hil and I went for a nice long walk and had a nice chat about things. I think it is starting to click into place for me so here is to a new and better week.