So my accomplishments today were finding a dress for Dani’s wedding, and reinstating my fitlinxx number. So tomorrow I can go workout and log my points. I also played with the make up funness for the wedding. I am so pumped and I am going to lose the weight for the wedding and keep going on losing weight.

So not much else to share today, but will update tomorrow with the working out.

So life got in the way. Excuse Excuse, blah blah. Alright so now I’m in the right mindset. I wish I could take the pup for a walk, but it is now raining and she is not a fan of the rain. I could go for a little walk, but I think I might just do the 30 Day Shred. Love love love that video! I am going to be very clean this week on eating since I am going out with the ladies on Saturday for the first time and will definitely be drinking to celebrate the end of the Semester with the shedevil teacher we all have. I am a little nervous to go out with the ladies a little though because they are all pretty healthy and a ‘normal’ size. I am not jealous it’s just I do not want others to look over and see me as the fat chick. I am happily married it’s just an insecurity I haven’t overcome yet. The ladies are great and do not make me feel that way it’s just something that after we talked about it and the initial excitement wore down I was sitting in class listening to the shedevil and the thought occurred to me.

I slept in until 10 this morning. That is a huge change in my schedule so now I feel so far behind on schoolwork and the housework I usually do on Tuesday. The only good thing is that the hubs will be working late tonight so I have that extra 3 hours to do whatever and it will keep me busy so I’m not looking at the clock every 5 minutes.

I was looking at old pictures of myself and was so excited to look that healthy again. It’s motivation and now it’s the backround of my laptop. I loved feeling that strong and that small. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting an elliptical at home, but with a free gym membership and all that it does not make financial sense to buy one, plus we have no room in the house except the spare bedroom which is dedicated to my husbands pro gear.

I need to find mine. So I plan to go to the Wellness center on Tuesdays and Thursdays. There I can run and do the C25K and Fridays I can do the running here at the apt. complex. Mondays and Wednesdays I will workout at home in the morning or inbetween my math and english class. I will only do probably the elliptical or warm up then do weights. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea have Monday and Wednesday doing weights.

I’m having a negative day pretty much because I am not doing anything productive towards my goal of having a degree in two years when the hubs gets out so I can either go in or we can decide as a family to not. I miss having something that I get something out of. When I was coaching it was wonderful I was full of life and was motivated to get healthy because I felt that I had girls looking up to me. I think all of this is from me missing coaching and being completely self destructive. I sabotage myself at every turn because I don’t feel like I deserve to be happy because of what I left behind. I know life goes on and I know they are just fine, but a part of me thinks that I could still be making things better when in truth I think me leaving made it less hostile there. Everyone now is able to do what they had always done and there were no changes being made and things being different. I’m scared to get into another coaching job here since everything went so haywire back home. Also I don’t want to walk into a USAG gym and be like oh yeah I’m not in shape and here I am to coach. I mean lets face it people judge your characteristics on how you look for the first impression and I doubt they would give me a chance or even call my references.

Sorry for the negative blog today, but maybe now I can move on that I have said it outloud.

I finally was able to run on the treadmill today! It was the best feeling being able to have my ankle keep strong and not give out. I am super excited to keep that as a ritual. Things have changed just a tad bit with the exercise schedule, but I think things will keep going how they are supposed to with losing weight and getting healthy. I plan to run a little bit at a time then in about 3 weeks start the C25K. I am so happy to be able to run again and feel like the time goes by so much faster than when I am just on an elliptical.

I have all of 1800 points and have over 8000 to go until my first reward, but it’s good because I know that I can get to the first level. I can’t wait to get to the last level and get my tattoo finished and added too. I have no idea what the other awards will be, but I know that it will be worth it. I have been great on my eating today and I can only take it a day at a time.

Basically I am here to say I am BACK! (yet again)

Here we go on the new workout schedule. I am super excited and instead of the other goals I think I am going to start the goals at the awards we get for the amount of weights/cardio I put in. I am going to do that because there is no emphasis on weight it’s just all activity. I think that will help me and suit me very well. I will however still weigh, but it won’t be the first goal for me to try to make.

Tonight I am making a lentil soup that is low cal and I am a little bit nervous about it. I have never tasted lentils. Lol I hope I like them. I figure they are healthy and I might as well try it. It has a ton of things that I like in it like onions, carrots, celery, leeks, chicken broth, and tomato paste. I am already to go eat some lentils.

And a two week trip home shows a lack of motivation there and when I get home. Not good. So today it is time to go back and get back into the 5 weeks of building up to habits. I hate starting over, but it is what it is.

On another note. Does it seem like everyone and their dog is coming out with a dance weight loss video? I mean Pussycat Dolls and Julianne Hough? Too many of one thing. I don’t understand it, but whatever. I used to love my Hip Hop Abs until I used it too much and got bored of it. I put it away to use later when I have decided I am over the boringness.

I am having some issues with motivation to getting to the gym. I just need to get into the routine before I start school two weeks from now. I usually feel much better after I work out and just need to do it the first couple times.

Feel free to leave me some get to working out comments.

I am on an exercise high! Can you tell!? I did the Elliptical, Bike, and some weights. Now I am going to move onto doing dishes, laundry, and cleaning. I am pumped about working out again. My hubs already says he is seeing an improvement on my attitude and my body. lol I weighed myself at the gym and I am down 1.75 pounds from yesterday. I know weight fluctuates, but I am super excited and it keeps me motivated.

I really hope I can maintain when I get down to goal for a while before we have babies. I read on the 100lb forum about a lovely lady who has PCOS an has started to ovulate with the weight off. I hope that I can get down so that I ovulate, but I would like to maintain for a while and let the new great healthy habits be cemented. I don’t plan to gain more than 25lbs during pregnancy. Plans plans plans lol. Lets see how they go or if I actually get to experience the joy of pregnancy.

I want some new workout clothes, but I want them in a size that is smaller than now so I know I am making progress. I was able to buy a size 14 at Target. WHOO HOO! I love the victory it is when you can wear a smaller size or you feel healthier. I’m off to make supper now. Lasagna!

I have bronchitis. I am still working out because I am now on antibiotics. It shouldn’t get any worse, but everyday that I don’t work out is a day my blood pressure will rise. That’s the only thing that I can think of is my blood pressure, but I got it checked at the Wellness center and it was 138/82! Which is GREAT for me without meds. I am hoping that when I go home things are great and I continue working out.

Today has been a struggle though. I have been craving chocolate like a mofo. I really hope this means AF is coming. She is like 10 days late and all pregnancy tests are negative thank goodness because it would not be healthy for me to get pregnant right now. I just want AF to come already and if she doesn’t by the time I get back from MN I will be going to the Dr. to get something to help her come already. I’m hoping the exercising and the better eating really helps shorten my cycles too.

I am going to workout on the Wii today because the gym is now closed and it is too cold outside to do water aerobics with me already being sick.

Anyone else getting this spam comments on their blogs about how cialis or valium can help you? I have gotten three of them and I’m wondering if it’s just me?

So I woke up this morning feeling gross again. Maybe working out yesterday was too early. I think I might need to actually go to the doctor. I think I may have lost almost a pound of just snot. eww. I really need to get into the gym and get my eating correct. I will just be eating smaller portions as we messed up our allotments and have no money to buy food. Which consists of lasagna, tator tot hotdish, and only two healthy meals that I would eat being sweet and sour chicken and buffalo chicken. I will just have to make the portion sizes much smaller.

I was hoping to lose much more before I went back home for Christmas because we are staying at his parents and whoa good fattening food galore. I love the food, but my body doesn’t agree with it. They have a treadmill and a bike. So hubs and I can workout together. He can use the treadmill and I can use the bike. I might bring my yoga videos along also. I just had a thought to bring the Wii with as well and then I can play Wii sports and Wii fit. Still not looking forward to the trip because of the food. That is a horrible way to think of it, but right now I just want to get my weight and blood pressure down so much that it’s the one thing on the forefront of my mind. i don’t even care what size I get to, I just want to get to a place that I am healthy and that I can run and jump and carry a healthy pregnancy.

Has anyone lost weight then gotten pregnant and stayed super healthy during it? I want to be able to run, do yoga, and still workout to make labor easier and make recovery easier.

So I am back from the baby shower and all that. It was horrible. Staying with my mom was fine I enjoyed it, but dealing with my sister was not and I emotionally ate. I felt like I had the support of my mom with food and she didn’t ask to eat out or anything *I* did! So here I am back at 198. Then the day I landed I had a horrible sore throat that turned into being sick for three days. Here I go starting over again.

I suppose little things like this you need to roll with. I am scared to check my blood pressure as I assume all the hard work I did before will be worthless since I gained some weight back and ate horrible foods. Tomorrow I am going to workout since I think I will be completely over my illness. I want to go to the wellness center to workout since they can track it. Today is hubs birthday, but we are having green bean casserole. Not as horrible for calories and fat as the lasagna we were going to make. We aren’t having a cake so that’s a positive.

I’m so worried I will have to go on medicine that I think that may be making my blood pressure go up as well. I just need to relax and do some working out to help me. It is good to be back and getting back into the rhythm of things.