Kids Return

Joe Hisaishi - “Kids Return”
^ Please take five minutes out of your day and listen to this beautiful piece!  I am in the process of learning the string parts, which will be arranged as a violin/acoustic guitar duet with my boyfriend.  We’ll be playing it at a Japan disaster relief charity concert in June.  I have [...]

Marmelade und Himbeereis II

Marmelade und Himbeereis
Reading the entry linked above, I felt a lump in my throat. I probably weigh ten pounds more than I did when I wrote it, and that makes me sad. They aren’t ten pounds of vacation fun or ten pounds of self-love; they are ten pounds of binges driven by depression and fueled [...]

hope

I’m banishing numbers from my life.  I can’t let calories, weight or inches dictate my moods.  I am diving in headfirst and trusting myself.  If millions of French women can be healthy and slim while eating croissants and duck confit, so can I.  Yesterday was my first day of no-numbers, and it was a lovely day.  [...]

Flailing about

Been away for a little over a week since my mom is here.  It’s been rather stressful taking her around and living for two since she is 99% helpless in a Japanese-speaking world, and I have not really been kind to my body.  Still feeling depressed over my injuries (or rather, blaming them for being [...]

Excellent/Children and Athletes

Yesterday as part of my contribution to relief efforts I went to a blood drive and donated my AB+ blood, which apparently is in great demand in Japan since it is the least common blood type here.  When I got my vitals taken, I was thrilled to see that my blood pressure has gone way [...]

I.F. Report, Day 1

Yesterday was my first day of I.F. and I LOVED it.  I enjoy the sensation of being manageably hungry and then having a big lunch and feeling full after.  I really hate the “not-quite-satiated” feeling that comes after a small mini-meal or a “tide me over” snack, so it is a welcome change.  I wound [...]

I.F.

I have decided to try intermittent fasting, i.e. waiting 14-16 hours between eating from day to day. In my case that means limiting eating to a certain time window per day.  I’m thinking 1-8 pm is a nice manageable window.  All calories shall be consumed within that time frame.
So far this seems like the best [...]

Do Something Differently

That’s what I’m telling myself.  I know it’s Monday morning and nothing arouses more false hope than the first few hours of a diet/new plan etc. but for the love of all that is good, the binges cannot continue.  Today I am wearing my 67 cm waist pants that were just a teeny big snug pre-binge.  Post-binge (they [...]

A sad breakthrough.

Well, yesterday I crossed a line I never thought I’d cross. I had my first ever “no holds barred” binge and basically spent my evening shoveling everything from the drugstore/7-11 that looked even remotely good into my face, and then ordered in a personal pizza after I felt sick from too much cream/custard/sugar. 
It felt like [...]

Not Normal

This is a thought that’s been lurking for quite some time now but I think it’s time I wrote it down for all the world to see.
I have disordered thinking about food.
I can’t sit down and eat a casual meal without snapping into either “binge-frenzy” or “paranoid-diet” mindset.  I can’t eat anything without doing the [...]