Not Normal

This is a thought that’s been lurking for quite some time now but I think it’s time I wrote it down for all the world to see.
I have disordered thinking about food.
I can’t sit down and eat a casual meal without snapping into either “binge-frenzy” or “paranoid-diet” mindset.  I can’t eat anything without doing the [...]

Marmelade und Himbeereis

^The post title is a song by Grauzone (Swiss wave/Neue Deutsche Welle/new wave band).  It’s a fairly relaxing tune with a raucous ending and makes me think about summer. 
The weather is warming up and my motivation and self-control is back to “losing” mode.  There is junk food, but there is no compulsion to eat it all right [...]

TGIF

I have perfected the art of salad.  The cheese and beans make it super filling, and the contrast of cheese and fruit feels very luxurious.

In other news, weight has consistently gone down every day.  Have been eating around 1550 calories a day and going to bed feeling slightly hungry but manageably so.  None of this [...]

A bit better.

Nothing really noteworthy to report from the front lines other than my weight is down another kilogram (2.2 lbs) overnight after just one day of eating a reasonable amount of calories.  This means the total fat-damage from my vacation is less than one pound.  I am going to miss this when I get older.
I’ve been [...]

Zeppelin

The title of this post pretty accurately describes the state i will end up in if this is allowed to continue.  Seoul was all sorts of incredible, a smorgasbord of culture and crowds and beauty and national pride/identity, and about 6,000 calories a day for a three-day weekend.  Unacceptable, and it has landed me a [...]

S.O.S.

All my resolve seems to melt like chocolate in the sun when there are free desserts around.  I went to a 2-hour English conversation class last night where we sit in a round table setup and discuss current events and personal anecdotes.  It’s meant to be practice for Japanese people and the subject matter is rarely stimulating.  [...]

Backslide

Yesterday I decided to break my moratorium on sugar.  I made it the full week and decided it would be well worth it for the homemade cookies, flan/pudding, mini parfait with blueberry and chocolate sauce, and banana nut pound cake at the brunch buffet.  It was well worth it but immediately upon the first couple [...]

Triggers

I would like to say Day 5 flew by without a single complication, but I ended up overeating at dinner.  It was one of those situations where everyone orders communal appetizer type dishes to share.  There were chili cheese fries, chicken tendons in yuzu (sour citrus) sauce, chicken neck with green onion, bonito flakes, and [...]

The sanctity of mealtime

(Progress: Day 4 is easy breezy!  I am thrilled to report that I don’t feel cravey or hungry at all today.)
One observation I’ve made along the way is that when I’m eating consciously, I HATE being disturbed during meals and the idea of eating a bad or dissatisfactory lunch or dinner boils my blood.  Today’s [...]

Surviving

Day Three is coming to a close.  I felt exhausted and fatigued all afternoon and skipped out on exercise.  I think it’s okay not to exercise seven days a week, though my first inclination is to feel really guilty about it.  The lack of candy is going all right, though I am craving carbs.  I [...]