Kosher vegan chick

your snatch was scented

like tobacco, patchouli

and new born kitten.

i was in Manhattan today, wearing my Purim costume which is not really a costume at all. I bought hand made modest clothing from a fundamentalist web site. the clothes are a cross between “Holly Hobby” and Big Love. I felt so liberated in my all cotton prairie girl clothes. It will be a struggle not to wear them all the time. I am secretly plotting a way to actually expand my wardrobe in this direction.

My Religious dress

Masking as devout play clothes

Inspired respect.

Esther girds her loins

Pleading for her people’s right

To defend themselves.

I feel like crying

Even though it is Adar

Jewish month of joy

I danced the mizulu this morning. it was my way to joyously express my gratitude to G-d and gravity. I feel lighter today. less bloated and somewhat leaner. My body is not aching even though I walked 5 miles yesterday. I also wore a sexy nighty for my darling husband because he deserves a wife who loves him. That man is a slave for me. He is my hard working party boy lover man pain in the ass full time always on never cheating open honest craving sanity crazy living G-d fearing hunk of a primordial renaissance man. Whoo doggy ! Gotta love a guy like that.

Yes . Acknowledge your triumphs. This week I did not booze it up, did not indulge in sugary non-dairy creamer addiction. i walked from 41st and 8th to 30th and 3rd. i lost all the weight i had put on in the last week of February.

So where is the fixation with failure coming from? I know where. it is the urge to bake whole wheat vegan hamentashen that I will then want to taste no I mean consume in copious quantity.

So my dilemma is do I just buy the pre- made kind, which I have no interest in eating. But I am ashamed to give those out for mishloach manot, or do I bake my own, non-vegan ones with eggs, but then I feel like a traitor and I know some people want to taste my vegan baking, though not my kids! Or do I choose the option behind door # 3… bake vegan hamentashen, not whole wheat, and DO NOT EAT THEM !

You know what, I can do that. because i have no real desire to eat white flour baked goods.  Whole wheat flour on the other hand is a problem for me.

six days til Purim

Craving Poppy seed filling

Hamentashen Joy

How come you gave in and started eating all the wrong foods again?

Didn’t you know the outcome would be the same? indigestion, headaches, gas and flatulence? Weight gain?

The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.

haiku, although I do not deserve to write one.

today’s evidence

rolls of flab labled  backfat

bulging out like twins.

Is this just vapid,

masquerading as clever?

Why diet haikus?

i am eating a green salad with 1/2 avocado, one tablespoon of tahini, a yellow pepper,a chipolte pepper and a splash of Braggs liquid aminos. belly filling and healthy. Low in calories and satisfying.

I am 51 years old. I am too out of shape to exercise without hurting myself. i am only satisfied when I eat to the point of pain. so for me for now, sticking to a 900 calorie diet is what is working. I have been losing 1.5 pounds per week. and my husband said my ass is getting smaller. Victory! i want to be a hot looking  chick for him.

I am not a feminist. I am a traditionalist. I enjoy yielding to my husband.  He is such a great guy and a devoted family man. He is smart and sexy and he loves me. I am living the life dreams are made of. Bli-ayin harah.

haiku

Now it is the time

To salvage past victories

and claim them as mine.