So, it’s me again. A lot has changed- that’s for sure. Naturally the one constant in my life is that I’m struggling with weight loss. But, that’s all about to change. I’m really, really ready to do this. I don’t know how often I’ll write and I can’t guarantee it’ll all be positive, but there’s just something about posting my life confessions into the virtual world that moves me. Here goes nothing…
In 2007 I joined Weight Watchers at 189 lbs. “SICK!” I thought to myself. 189 lbs.? How did I let that happen to me? All through high school and the beginning of college, I floated at about 150 lbs., and even then I thought I was “fat.” Seriously? I’m 5′7″ and full of muscle. SInce when is 150 lbs. fat? Anyway, that’s what I thought. Then- well, you know the story. I started college. I worked retail (aka at a mall) and spent 18 hour chunks of time away from home. Is it realistic for someone in that position to pack 3 square meals to bring with them every morning for the day that lies ahead? Well, no. Is it necessary for that person to instead fill up on Panera bagels and Baja Fresh burritos? UM NO.
And so it went that in college I gained not 15, but 20 lbs. Then I turned 21… which led to a year long bar crawl with friends. That’s where the 189 came into play.
I was miserable. So, I did something about it- I joined Weight Watchers. Over 2 months time, I lost 22 lbs. and got down to 167. I felt amazing. How in the world did I ever feel fat at 150 when all of a sudden 167 felt so amazing? Until… I met my (now) husband. I got comfortable. Well… we got comfortable. Think: 65 lbs. of comfort between us. It was cozy alright. Here’s a little math equation to break it down for you:
Planning a wedding + I got laid off + Started working retail + I’m a stress eater = 32 lbs.
Yes, 32 lbs. Now, if you were paying attention you would realize that put me at 199. Too close for comfort to a number I had always feared. So, I sucked it up and joined WW again 4 weeks or so ago. For the record, I’m down 4 lbs.
But there’s a twist: My husband is on a diet through a local hospital, on which is has lost 32 lbs. in 4 weeks. I know, crazy. It’s low carb and mainly supplements. Naturally, I’ve become an expert on it because that’s what I do. I know sooo much about nutrition, anatomy, the physiology and psychology behind weight loss and health in general. BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO DO IT.
So yeah- 4 lbs. in 4 weeks. I should be proud. I guess I am. At the rate I was going, if I hadn’t have joined WW I would probably be 204 by now. So that says something. But I just can’t help but want this to happen faster, like it has for my husband. He brought up a really good point the other night, though. He is doing this medical diet because he has to. He is on high blood pressure meds and has cholestrol and triglycerides through the roof. He’s still a couple of years away from 30. I, on the other hand, have great cholestrol, BP, etc. so we are in totally different situations.
Speaking of him, he’s amazing. He is very supportive of me in all that I do and I am so thankful for him every day. He works really hard so that we can have a great life. Since last year, we’ve gotten married, bought a new house, and now I have a new (regular hours) job in the field I want to be in. I travel a lot (which has been my downfall these last 4 weeks, I think). Life is good. It’s time to give it my all and reach my goals and dreams.
So, I’m done screwing around and I’m ready to really commit to this. I have to. I’m tired of not having anything to wear that I’m comfortable in and going to the mall to buy new clothes and winding up in tears. No one should live like that. I refuse to do it any longer.
Hello, world. I’m here to take you on!