new year December 25, 2013
so, I had the talk with my two bffs. I was very upset with them because I feel like they just aren’t good friends anymore to me, especially one of them who i have known the longest. In the end, we were all unwilling to end it. IT’s too hard. We chose to pretend we would compromise. The thing is, I don’t think it’ll work. I think we are far too different people to ever be good friends again, and I think so much has happened (so many events that I feel have been a slap to my face), that I can never ever really forgive. But, for now, I will try. I hate that we’ve lost this friendship, but I’m also very accepting of it at this point. I just have so much going for me that I don’t want negativity to bring me down. So, we’ll see where these friendships go. Maybe they can be repaired, may be they can’t.
My boyfriend went home for Christmas. he’s been gone 8 days, and has about 3 more days before he’s back here in LA. WE are planning on spending NYE snowboarding and having fun. I am so excited! I’ve missed him so much, more than I thought I would. He’s only been gone a week, but I guess I didn’t realize how much we hang out, how much I think about him, and how much I like to See him and spend time with him. It scares me, because I’m pretty much in love with him. It’s worked so well. We get each other. It’s not perfect but it is. The thing is, I’ve started to think “what if I do want kids down the road”. He’s made it clear he’s not changing his mind despite being only 27. He’s made it up, kids aren’t in his path now or ever. I don’t know if I want kids, so is this really a dealbreaker? Is there a compromise? I miss him when he’s not hre for a week, I can’t imagine him not being with me. ahhhhh!!!! grown up questions suck.