then and now May 18, 2013
My mom asked me how much I weighed, and I was proud to tell her I was 166. She’s been telling me recently that I look great, but that may be it’s time for me to call it goal. May be it’s a latina culture thing? I have hips and thighs, but my upper half is fairly thin. body wise, I look pretty good. (even if I am still overweight). anyway, it made me think of something that I wanted to tell her, but I knew it would hurt her feelings.
when I was in about 8th grade, my mom took us to the doctor for our regular checkups. I remember weighing in at a whopping 168 pounds (I was about 5′3). My mom kept repeating “are you sure that’s right? She can’t be that big”. I know she didn’t mean to be cruel. She herself was obese at about 230 and 5′2, and she feared I would get that way (which I did). But, I remember feeling so hurt and so ugly. The next day she put me on a diet that lasted about two weeks and in which I dropped 10 lbs (it was a tooooo low calorie unhealthy diet).
I now weigh the same as I did back then (although I’m about 2 inches taller). What’s the difference? Do I look different than I did back then? Is it because I’ve been so overweight/obese for the last 10 years that no one can see a thinner me?
in other news, I went hiking today. Have been going every weekend, and it makes me feel BOSS. lol. I’m not stopping yet!