From 190+ to 135

I can not begin to describe the wonderfulness that is today.

Last night I had the worst sinus headache of the season thus far. I was in pain all day. So when I got home from my game around 2.30am I took some meds and went to bed.

I woke up this morning after feeling and odd pressure on my stomach…..it was my cat. Which is shocking only to those that know my cat since her favorite hobbies are chasing the dog, rolling in catnip, and biting me.

Cat aside I for the first time in a long time felt fantastic!! Looking at the clock it was 7.45am and I was wide awake. So I decided to go to some garage sales with my good friend Beth and her man.

They were awesome and I got some cool stuff on the cheap. But then………the marathon.

We were stuck in traffic and driving around for over and hour to try to figure out how to get to the Farmer’s Market on the other side of town. Aaaaahhh the Farmer’s Market all that fresh fruit and veg just waiting for me to buy some and start my healthier lifestyle. Only about 1,000,000 healthy runners between me and it. I was not amused.

But eventually we made it. And it was just as glorious as I had imagined it would be. I got some fresh strawberries, which are just soooo sweet and juicy. Plus I got a homemade baguette…so long and yummy. So I know the bread isn’t the healthiest choice but that and booze are my weakness.

My day improved further when I found out my favorite football club Tottenham Hotspur won their match with Bolton…WooooooHooooooo!!!!!!!

Then it was home for a long nap with EDO…he even let me sleep on his belly some, and now I’m here talking to you lovelies.

Tonight I’ll be hangin with Beth again, we’re having an overnight. I will attempt to not over abuse my body with too much to drink- try being the key word here. All in all it’s been an absolutely perfect day with a strong forecast of excellence to continue.

~Kisses Kiki~

Well last night was one of those drunk nights I told you about. I had 3 1/2 glasses of my jug Sangria (yep I’m that classy) and it was about 1 1/2 glasses too much. My head is still pounding.

My mother buried a dear friend this morning and since the kids were out today we packed up early and went to go see her.

I’ve been trying to be good and stick to water and poweraid (except for the wine of course) and all in all I’ve been eating healthier and smaller portions.

I have game with my friends tonight…I might share more about that some other time…but for now I’m off to shower and get dressed and with any luck I’ll be able to throw in a power nap too.

~Kisses Kiki~

So on Saturday the Farmer’s Market opens.

Local fresh fruit and veg I can’t wait!!

Watching Julie and Julia right now, empowers me to be healthy and cook well.

Good night to all,

~Kisses Kiki~

To say that I have been unhappy with my body for some time now is a huge understatement.

Frankly when I see my body naked it just grosses me out. There are so many times when I put on my clothes I feel confident about myself, only to take them off at the end of the night and realize just how stretched out they are.

So many times I’ll look at a shirt I just took off and say to myself, ‘no way, there’s no way I’m that big.’

A few years ago I was still in the Army. In 2005 I was working out every day and in the best shape of my life.

Yesterday I was going through some old clothes and I found my size 9 jeans. I only cried for about an hour.

So much has gone on in my life the past 5 years. I guess it’s no wonder I ended up in these size 16s.

Today my life is so different then it was then. Here is a typical day for me.

1:30 pm - Wake up and get on facebook and play games.

2:30 pm - Go pick the kids up from school

3:00 pm - Come home and get back on facebook

6:00 pm - EDO gets home from work, I’m probably still on the computer

8:00 pm - Dinner, something fast and easy probably with little nutrision

9:00 pm - The kids are in bed, this is when I have my first drink

12:00 am - Hungry again, snack time

3:30 to 4:30 am - Finally either am tired or drunk and decide to go to bed.

Needless to say it’s clear that even I don’t find my lifestyle to be healthy. I’ve spent the past few days looking into workout and diet programs like Power90 and P90x. I’ve also considered Jilian Micheal’s 30 Day Shred.

One thing is for sure though….this HAS TO STOP. I can’t keep abusing my body this way. I have no energy for myself, my kids, or even to have a decent love life. I’m so tired of hating myself. I don’t have to be a size 3 but I do want to be healthy again.

I already took the first step towards loving myself in December 2009 when I quit smoking. It was my 2nd try and it’s stuck, I’m hoping that this effort to loose weight will do the same.

I have some more research to do before I commit to one particular type of thing, and I should probably make an appointment with my doctor too.

But soon hopefully the pounds will begin to melt away.

~Kisses Kiki~