I was never a fat or chubby child.  I was fairly skinny and very active as an elementary school student.  I always felt bigger than everyone else, however, and this affected the way I would look at my body for most of my life. In middle school I developed a severe negative body image and an excruciating inferiority complex.  Looking back I know now that I was not even overweight, much less obese,  but I felt like the fattest person on earth.  In high school I was in a constant lose weight/gain weight cycle.  I finally got serious during my senior year about losing weight, well being healthy, because looking back I DID NOT NEED to lose any weight.  I was severely limiting calories ( I think I was only eating once a day) and in the evening I was running and doing hill sprints.

When I started my freshman year of college I weighed in at 140, which I look back and see that this was almost too thin for my frame and I don’t think I looked healthy in any pics from that time. Of course, by the time freshman year was over I had gained 20-30 lbs thanks to the totally unhealthy food service and the fact that every weekend I was eating pizza, cheese sticks, basically anything bad I could get my hands on. I haven’t seen 140 since.

Whoever said love makes you fat is so right!  My husband, the love of my life, came into my life during my freshman year of college.  We enabled each other to eat and I was eating just as much as he was and sometimes more!  Over the first five years together we both gained and gained.  About a year before we got married which would have been 2003, I weighed in at 192.  We both wanted to lose weight for our big day so we both went on Atkins.  We worked out and followed the program to the tee.  I lost 20 lbs and got down to approx 170 for our wedding day.  I felt okay, but I knew in the back of my mind that there was no way the weight was going to stay off.

Over the next 4 years I gained and lost, gained and lost.  In January of last year, I learned we were expecting our first child.  We were both ecstatic, but again in the back of my mind my weight lingered. Pregnancy was not easy on my body.  I felt lethargic the whole 9 months.  I had heartburn from month 4 on and couldn’t sleep without at least one glass of milk a night.  I was going through 2 gallons of 2% milk a week at this point.  I had always pictured being that cute little pregnant lady you always see at the mall or working out at the gym.  Instead I became this huge, lumbering, moody, and miserable pregnant woman who came home from work and collapsed, even after a coca-cola (yes I was drinking coke during my pregnancy) and sometimes a coffee also during the day.  The appointment before the week I delivered the scale topped out at 248.  I had gained approx. 60 lbs during my pregnancy.

My little girl is the light of my life.  I would not give up the experience of carrying and delivering her for anything.  Now that she is 7 months old, I’m ready to get serious about losing weight.  My starting weight is 216, which is the amount I weighed in at this morning.  I try to motivate myself by telling myself that I’ve already lost 32 lbs which is ALOT but the only thing I can think about is that 2 staring up at me from the scale.

My plan is to watch calories, I’m currently trying to stick with between 1400 and 1600.  I have also purchased three of Jillian Michael’s DVDs including, 30 Day Shred, No More Trouble Zones, and Blast Fat Boost Metabolism.  I am currently on Day 9 of Level 1 30 Day Shred.  I haven’t lost anything lb wise, but my clothes definitely fit better, and I feel more energized.

This blog is my way of holding myself accountable for my weight loss.  I’ve been listening to Jillian’s radio talk show and she has some really good points about having different things that motivate you to lose weight. Here are mine

  • My grandmother died from complications of Type II diabetes.  I don’t want to die at 68 because I can’t control what I put in my mouth.
  • I want to be an active mom for my daughter
  • I want to be a sexy wife for my husband
  • I want to look good in pictures (One of my goals is to have a family picture taken by the end of the summer or in the fall if I don’t lose as fast as I want to)
  • And my most shallow reason is that I don’t want to have to shop in fat people stores anymore.  The clothes are crappy quality and cost way too much for what you get, not to mention they are ugly.

My main goal is to be 170 again, maybe 160.  I’ll decide when I get to 170.  My first mini goal is to be below 200 by the time we go on vacation at the end of June.

Another site that I’m using for motivation is Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans.  If you have never heard of it the address is www.shrinkingjeans.net. Go check it out!

I Shred with the Sisterhood!