I made it through Thanksgiving, yay! I had been feeling panic-y about the 4-5 lbs I gained when when my SIL and niece were visitng in October… but I just started walking more and eating a little less. I went back down to 155.5, and it feels better to know that I can regain control of my weight.
Also I am realizing that making myself feel like sh** for eating chocolate does me no good at all. I need to embrace the fact that I love chocolate, and that I have very little control of it when it’s in the house. Example: I made a delicious fudge sauce the other night. The next day I ate 1/2 the jar. Normally I would sneak off to enjoy my guilty pleasure. DH saw me sitting in front of the TV with the jar and a spoon, and he just asked if I could save him enough for his ice cream later. I am not giving myself permission to binge out all the time… just to be open about it when I do. There’s some kind of psychological thing happening with the sneaking/guilt/hiding and self punishment. So, I like eating fudge sauce out of the jar. Not healthy, nor is whipping up a batch of chocolate frosting and eating on it.
But I get SICK of it after a day or two. My head hurts, I feel kind of lightheaded… we had a big head of broccoli the other day and I steamed it up, like a magic cure for sugar and chocolate. And it tasted wonderful.
I have no idea what I’m rambling on about. We got our 1st real snow, and it sucks not to be able to get out every day for a good walk. The treadmill awaits, but I am dragging my feet.
I started my new job… it’s seasonal so my last day is the 23rd. I take catalog orders over the phone for pj’s and teddy bears. I like it… wish I could keep working after xmas.