Maintaining Me

Yesterday I just had to complain that I had no kids this weekend and nothing to do.  So what happens?  Yup, I jinxed myself and both things changed!

First, XSIL calls me at 10 pm last night apologizing because she cannot meet me to pick up the kids Fri night because she forgot she had plans with her own MIL.  (She helps out with kids since XH works 2nd shift)  That was okay with me, I had no real plans anyway, and the person I was hoping to have plans with is going away this weekend so I thought it would work out even better for me to have the following weekend free.

Hang up the phone, a little while later, I get an email from Match guy (the one I’ve been on two dates with) saying he canceled his trip and inviting me over this weekend.  Arghghg!  Isn’t that ALWAYS THE WAY??

In the meantime, after I got the cancel call but before I got the email - I made plans to take all three of my BFF’s kids overnight Friday night so her and her hubby could have a free night, and she is super excited.  Afterwards, when this date possibility arose, she said she would also take my kids Saturday … but I haven’t exactly comitted to that just yet.  I am afraid that two nights in a row, the kids will be tired of eachother and at eachother’s throats.  I am basically just going to play it by ear and see what happens.

Food yesterday was good - made Tilapia instead of leftovers, will have those today.  Exercise was also good - treadmill and Turbo Jam Fat Blaster DVD, with weighted gloves.

Today’s Foodie

B: Egg beaters on MG English, coffee

S: Banana

L: Lean Cuisine, tortilla fish I think

S: Quaker True Delights bar

D: Leftover Eggplant Pasta dish

Exercise: Firm DVD or Yoga/Pilates combo (whichever I choose today, will do the other tomorrow)

TOM arrived yesterday, a bit early, but totally explains my very PMSy week this past week or so.  Needless to say, not weighing in this week! lol

Need to figure out how to add a page here.  When I got into Manage, why doesn’t it give me the option to add or make a new page?  Would like to put up some photos.

Oh well.  As Linda would say, Happy No-Humping Day!

So, does anyone else have Leprechauns that visit their house on St. Pattys? 

DS6 was determined to catch one this year (they always do silly things like turn our milk and juice green, and turn furniture upside down, etc.).  He said he was going to build a trap, and then when he got one, he would have him show us where the pot of gold is kept.  :lol:  So, he took a pitcher and laid a paper towel across the top, with one of DD’s rings (because they like gold) so that when the little leprechaun goes to steal the ring, he would fall into the pitcher.  He even dres a “trail of shamrocks” to lure him in.  How smart is that?

Unfortunately, DS did not catch a leprechaun.  But, he was very excited because they left little green footprints all over the place, and inside the pitcher they left him and DD6 each a gold coin (one of those gold dollars)!! 

Yesterday both food and exercise were great.  I made this pasta that has eggplant and peppers roasted, then sausage and onions, a little tomato paste …. yum!  It was really great and the kids all ate it!  Next time, I would definitely double the veggies.  I have a ton of leftovers though, definitely was enough for two meals.  I did my Firm Dangerous Curves.  That is two days of weights in a row, so today will be some sort of cardio only or possibly yoga/pilates and treadmill combo.

Today’s Food:

B: Nutrigrain LF waffles, strawberries, light syrup, coffe

L: Mexican tortilla veggie chick soup, crackers

S: Apple

D: Leftover eggplant pasta stuff, or tilapia and save leftovers for tomorrow, not sure

Exercise as listed above

So, kids are going to XH’s this weekend and I don’t want to jinx it, but for those of you who know me for years from the journals … this is like his 4th on schedule weekend in a row which is unheard of for him!  Lol.  Unfortunately, I have nothing at all planned this weekend, and no-one around to do anything with.  Oh well.  If the weather is nice, I am going to take a ride up to Mohonk and do one of the hikes myself.  That will be nice and peaceful.  And there is always more yard work to be done.

It is nice and quiet, the boss is at one of his town-related meetings.  He should be back any minute though.  Better publish and go comment!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

Which happens pretty much every year, lol.  Kind of like Thanksgiving.  I make one giant meal of it and we are good until next March. :)  Everything went great guys, thanks for your comments!  I had a good time with my family and everyone enjoyed themselves.  The good thing about cooking for a crowd is that when (IF) there are leftovers, you send them home with them.  There were NO cake leftovers, lol.  Renee - the almond glaze was perfect with it!  I already got a request for this cake for Easter.

Saturday the family left mid-afternoon and I took the kids for a walk on the trail near home.  They scooted, I walked.  It was cool but not cold, and just a nice afternoon.  Then BFF watched the little ones so I could go to dinner with one of the Match guys - the sane one, lol.  This was the second date with him.  We had a very good time, but this dating is hard!  It’s worse when it goes WELL and then you wonder, okay, what’s next??  He will be away this weekend visiting family though, on my weekend without kids, so I don’t know when there will be another date again.  Trying not to obsess over it - I don’t have control of everything and I hate that!

Sunday I got lots of cleaning done, worked out (good sweaty one!), yard work, food shopping.  It was a productive and beautiful day.  Still had time to take the kids to the playground.

Renee - I bought your RK cereal and they were pretty good!  Very low cal, don’t know how full they’d keep me, but I added fruit.  Yum! 

Today’s Food:

B: Rice Krispies w/half banana, couple sliced strawberries, 1% milk, coffee

S: Yogurt

L: Lean Cuisine

S: Fiber bar or Apple

D: New recipe I am trying: it’s pasta but with roasted eggplant, peppers and onions and then italian sausage mixed in.  Yum!  Will let you know how it turns out!

Exercise: Firm DVD

Oh and I didn’t get around to the handbags yet, sorry!  I will post a link when I do put them up, I might list them tonight or tomorrow.  It’s hard for me to do.  It’s silly, I don’t use them anymore and they are taking up closet space, but I consider them my “collection”, know what I mean?  Then I am afraid - just like clothing - the minute I get rid of it, I will need it for something. 

On another note, I think I might go talk to a therapist, just to discuss some of my issues from childhood.  I found a local therapist who specializes in the normal stuff, plus: Relationship issues including co-dependency and ACOA issues. Grief and bereavement issues including divorce, separation and complicated grief. Women’s issues such as binge eating, body image and empowerment in relationships.

Interesting right?  So I emailed her, I want to see what her fees are and how much my insurance would cover of it.  I figured it can’t hurt.

Okay, going to publish, grab my yogurt and nose around! 

OH - I also am making a goal for myself.  I have a follow up with PS Dr. M on 4/7.  There are some issues I need to discuss with him but being that I am 5 pounds heavier than surgery date, I can’t exactly go in complaining … so I want to be below that, 143.5 on 4/7.  So there is my goal.  143.5 is a comfy weight for me.

Today - not so comfy.  Eek.

Somehow I managed to do all my baking, most of my cleaning, and still fit in my workout last night, go me! lol  … I figured that I have two hours after work to finish everything up before the guests arrive, and then 8:30 pm last night my mom informs me that they are leaving early and will possibly be over as early as 4 pm.  That leaves me NO extra time, I will be getting in with the kids at 3:45!  So I will do a whirlwind sweep, vaccuum, etc and hope they are a few minutes late, lol.

I have two crockpots going right now with corned beef and cabbage (potatoes and carrots too of course) and a third dutch oven which I will turn on when I get home.  That will be finished later than the others, but the plan is that the first two will feed everyone, and the third is for second helpings later on in the evening and leftovers.  I still need to make icing/frost the kids Lucky Cupcakes, and then I am making a batch of Colcannon.  Oh, and glaze the pistachio bundt cake.  Then I am done!  The Lucky Cupcakes are simply chocolate cupcakes with green buttercream, I am just calling them lucky because I couldn’t find a special kids dessert that I had the items to make!

No exercise today! 

Ugh, so I have a work site with huge huge HUGE employee relations issues, I thought I was making progress but I just got a complaint from yet another employee.  This is becoming very messy, and I feel like I am getting no support from the director of HR which is really frustrating.  When people come to me for help, I follow through.  I am not going to sit here and ignore that all these people are miserable because of ONE person.

Food today: (as if I will be OP, nope, sorry ladies!)

B: Cereal and 1% milk, running late

L: LC Tortilla Fish

S: Apple or yogurt, whichever I am in the mood for

D: Corned beef and cabbage dinner, yum!

I think we may be in the 50s this weekend which will be awesome.  I will try and get a little “spring cleaning” of the yard done, walk on the rail trail, and I am going to (GASP!) list some of my handbags on ebay.  That is right ladies, I am simplifying my life, only keeping what are actively in my rotation and not the dust collectors.  Keeping 2 Louis Vuittons, 1 Michael Kors, and 2 Coaches, and that is IT!  The rest are going!  (I say this right now, then when I am taking them all out of the dust bags I will be hyperventilating, lmao!).

From the wrong guy though.  Sigh.

I was sitting at my desk, plugging away at work.  Okay probably not - I think I was IMing with my BFF but whatever, pretend I was working, and I got a beautiful delivery.  A huge, gorgeous flower arrangement.  When I saw what florist it was from, had a ball in the pit of my stomach, because only R knows that is my favorite place.  Sigh.

Card read: One day, we will be together again, searching for the best black & white cookies in the world! Love, R****

(Side note: have to laugh, even when I get flowers, it somehow involves food! :lol:)

I am going to attempt a pic here.  It won’t be as pretty as IRL, it was taken with my cell:

Okay, not working right now, will come back to this.

Anyway, I thought we had an understanding, and it has been several weeks since he has texted/emailed/called me.  He is really a wonderful person, but he’s just not the one for me.  I am not going to settle.  I’ve BTDT, and I deserve someone who makes me happy in every facet of my life.  And maybe I will never find “the one”, but I will choose singledom over settling.  I had to send the dreaded thank you but we have no future email.  (I’m not mean, trust me, we’ve had this discussion face to face and via telephone MANY times! lol)

On to the good (or not so good stuff).  Yesterday food was okay.  Would have been great, but of course I had to sample the bread I baked for DS12’s afterschool thing.  I made one traditional Irish soda bread - the REAL stuff, only 4 ingredients, not the “cake” we sell in the US that they call Irish Soda Bread. :lol:  And then I also made spotted dog, which is what is sold in the US here as ISB … sugar, raisins, etc.  Both came out yummy.  Traditional ISB is very very plain, but I thought it would be interesting for the students in the Multicultural club to try, and DS is going to give them a little history lesson behind it, if he remembers it!

Exercise yesterday was Jillian’s Cardio Kickbox and then treadmill.

Today’s Foodage:

B: Nutrigrain LF waffles, strawberries, light syrup, coffee

S: Light pomegranate yogurt - was yummy! La Yogurt I think

L: LC Grilled Chicken Primavera (yum, one of my faves)

S: Apple

D: May be just soup and sandwich for me, I have so much to do to get ready for tomorrow so kids are getting chicken nuggets

Exercise: Firm Get Chiseled

Tonight I need to bake all the bread for tomorrow, Pistachio cake, green cupcakes, and then get all the veggies ready for dinner that is going into the crockpots (yes, multiple!) tomorrow.  And I need to do major companies-coming-scrubbing.  I have a super busy evening, and I am going to try not to let it get the best of me and end up skipping out on exercise.

Okay boss just walked in, better publish!

Whoa.

That is a BAD number for me!  A real slap in the face.  Moving on!

I did my 500 calorie workout DVD last night, a killer.  Felt good after doing it though.  Kids wanted fish sticks for dinner, so I had the leftovers from Monday. 

I need to start drinking more water also.  This morning I had a bottle of water with my breakfast instead of coffee, and saved my coffee for work.  I think I may do that each day.  It would be easy to get in one before work, one at work, and one after work.  It isn’t perfect but it is 6 glasses, and that is a start. 

Todays Food:

B: Egg Beaters on Light MG English Muffin, Water

S: Nectarine

L: Lean Cuisine, not sure which yet

S: Fiber bar or another nectarine, lol

D: Turkey burgers, baked fries

Exercise Today: Cardio or Jillian DVD

Exercise Tomorrow: Firm Get Chiseled DVD

Off Friday

Exercise Saturday: Firm DVD

I realized yesterday that my snacking is out of control.  I felt hungry ALL day for some reason.  For snacks I had a banana, apple, and a fiber bar.  They were all healthy but it was still excessive!  And that doesn’t include the half of an oatmeal cookie I tried, and two hershey miniatures - the unhealthy snacks, lol.  Crazy.  Maybe I need to stop bringing so many snacks!  But then when I get home from work I am starving and stuff my face.  Not good.

I did track my food up through afternoon snack on TDP, then slacked off in the evening.  Going there right after this.

Yesterday I left the office to run to the bank, and right outside were four big, beautiful deer.   I love them.  I wish I had one for a pet.  Lol … I know I’m insane, but I would want it in the house.  I wish they had miniature versions.  Anyway, tried to get a pic on my phone but they were scared of me and too quick.  It is unusual to see them in this neighborhood, so I am worried about them.

Two days left till St Pats family dinner.  Last night I asked DS12 when he needed me to bake for his multicultural club meeting (he volunteered me for soda bread) and he said oh, meeting is Thursday.  So obviously today is Wednesday, wonder when he planned on telling me!  Grrrr!  I think I will bake one traditional loaf, and one spotted dog.  Everyone thinks the cakey raisin filled bread is traditional Irish soda bread, and not even close.  So I will have DS give them a little history lesson with their snack, lol.

My single BFF and I need Relationship Rehab©.  We need detox.  We need 3 days in a locked room without Match.com, without emails, without TEXTING and phone calls.  Then we need a 90 day program on getting on with our lives without men, how to be whole and happy while being single.  I swear, one day I am going to invent this.  I said it first!

Yesterday I didn’t do the turkey burgers.  I made a really awesome yummy shrimp and broccoli pasta thing.  Probably added a little too much fat for it to be considered “haelthy” but I definitely can health-it-up a little more.  I did roast the broccoli first for flavor.  ALL kiddos ate it up!

Then, I went into pasta-induced-lazy-fat-ass mode.  Even though I wore my workout clothes around the house from about 2 pm on, lol, I never put them to good use.  I finally dragged myself onto the treadmill for 45 minutes, but didn’t exert myself.  Today, weights.  I promise myself.  I deserve this.

I am still working on adding the journal ladies, so please, if I am missing anyone - comment me so I can figure out to add you!  Not so good at this blog thing.

Today’s Food:

B: 1 pc. cinn toast, coffee (I forgot I didn’t eat much, this would explain why I am starving right now)

S: Banana, going to eat it now

L: Lean Cuisine of some sort

S: apple or fiber bar

D: Undecided, but I have many choices at home

Today I am going to challenge myself to record on TDP since I have been sooooooooooooooooooooo slacking off in the food logging!  Ugh, what is up with me??

And Friday night is my big St Pats family/friend dinner … so you would think I would behave myself the days prior to that, get in all the exercise I can since I will be super  busy at the end of the week (have to bake a ton of soda bread on Thursday! and green cake).

I wish I could find the key to being happy in my life without food. 

I am here .. grudgingly.  I am irritated that I lost all my old blogs.  Although yeah … I guess they were a year or two old, lol.  And I guess I am not one who enjoys change.  I am not happy about not being able to visit ONE page and see all my journal girls right in a row.  Honestly, this is too time consuming and I just don’t have the time to - and won’t be able to - visit so many different blogs each day to comment.  But I am here, giving it a shot.  Rah rah, etc. etc.

 Moving on.  It’s Monday.  Due to the time change, it was dark when I woke up, and raining.  And I was exhausted from the weekend, and emotionally exhausted from life.  Last night I sat on my bed twice - 6 pm and 7 pm - and both times layed back and fell asleep for five minutes.  That is soooooooo unlike me.  I am always running, running, running.  Even when I have nothing to do, I am so restless that I MAKE something for myself to do.  Anyway, last night DS12 was up in the middle of the night and threw up.  This morning I get the little ones off to school, go to my dentist appointment, and I was on the way to work when the school nurse called and DD6 threw up in her classroom.  I just have to laugh.  Otherwise, I go insane.  So ran up to the office, grabbed some work, headed right back out the door to pick her up.  Then I think of jerky XH who has never, ever had to miss or leave work in his life for a sick child.  I just shake my head.

So that is how my Monday is.  The weekend … sigh.  Date Friday night.  It went really well - he was very nice, NORMAL, and we sat and had 2 glasses of wine and talked for 3 hours.  I emailed him the next day to say thanks.  There was no huge fireworks, but he was nice and I would do it one more time just to give it a shot (this is me talking to you guys, NOT the email, lol!).  So anyway … he kept making comments like wait till you meet my dog, you are going to love her, etc. etc.  One day you will meet her, blah blah blah.  I actually thought (silly me!) okay, this guy likes me far more than I like him.  Then … his email back was very nice, but did not say anything about wanting to do it again, it was like thanks, etc. had fun, have a nice weekend.  That’s it!  So clearly I read people wrong.  And I know it is soon, but ladies, this is coming from a guy who I was starting to consider a text stalker who would text me allllllllllllll day long.  And nothing since.

And like I said, I wasn’t really into him, BUT I am so surprised at the way our conversation was going, he wasn’t into me.  Oh well.  Weird.

Then the other guy - date from two weeks ago - he keeps emailing emailing emailing … but I am getting annoyed, like I don’t want a virtual date man … either we need to spend some face time or you are wasting my time. 

Saturday I woke up and it was GORGEOUS so I went for a walk on the trail, then walked into town and got a haircut and eyebrows - was terrific.  At night I went out for dinner, drinks and a movie with my two BFFs.  Had only two cocktails but they were strong, or something, because they hit me hard!  I was nauseous all night long!  We went to see Hes Not That Into You - how appropriate.  Sigh.  It was cute, but oddly depressing as it just reaffirmed that there are a bunch of jerks out there to date.  One month ago, pre-Match, I would have told you dating was exciting and so much fun.  Now I am rethinking that and wondering if they accept divorced single mothers into the convent.

Food … ahhh, food.  Well, food was bad this weekend.  And not just like oh-I-ate-out-all-weekend bad, like Sunday night feeling sorry for myself so I am going to make four pcs of cinnamon bread toast with <gasp> real butter bad!!  And maybe even a couple oreos and couple doritos.

Yeah, so at this rate, not only will I be single forever, but fat again too.

Okay not really - at least I know when to reel myself in again.

Oh, last week my boss finally set up Skype to chat with his boss (who is in St Louis) and whom I haven’t seen in maybe, uhhh, 7 or 8 years?  Well, 100 pounds ago, that’s for sure!  So after he “saw” me on skype he called the next day and was saying I was a mere shadow of my former self, and good for me.  Was sort of nice, being that I am now in maintenance for so many years, it’s not like I hear compliments like that anymore.

Shadow of my former self … interesting.  In so many more ways than he realizes.

Okay, so here is the food for today.

B: Oatmeal, coffee

L: Campbells Select Italian Wedding Soup, crackers

D: Probably Turkey burgers

If I need any snacks  (IF, ha!) I have fiber bars and apples.

MUST workout today.  I won’t tell you how many days it will have been since I formally exercised.  Okay yes I will, four days.  Eeek.  So, Firm DVD, something heavy duty today!

Okay I am going to PUBLISH this baby then figure out how to add my IBFFs to my blogroll.