(Maintaining Me) RE-Creating Me

Tawnya, thank you for hating my headache with me! :lol:  It went away - around 5 pm!  And then returned briefly around 9.  Excedrin Tension Headache finally did the trick.  I did miss yoga :(  but I did all my other “me” stuff.  Dance recital was adorable, spent a lot of quality time with SBFF catching up and discussing LIFE, which is always nice.  We always leave just as clueless as when we arrive, but it is nice to talk out loud about it! :lol:  Had my super-favorite salad for dinner at a local restaurant - it probably is one of those 1000 calorie salads, lol - but I ate 2/3 and I enjoyed every bite.

Up this morning and went and did W1D2 of the C25K program (I guess I am just not going to count the W2 episode I did, lol) and Renee - the App worked great!  But it is just a computer generated voice .. it goes ding-ding-ding-RUN, then a minute later, same thing, WALK, etc. so it doesn’t have the commentary that the free podcast has.  Robert Ullrey tells you things like, “remember, keep your shoulders relaxed and your arms loose.” etc.  SO I devised a plan - the first run of each “week” I will do the podcast so I can hear his tips, then the next two I will use the App so I can run to my own music.  I also have decided that if/when I make it halfway through, I will then reward myself by going to get professionally fit for some REAL running shoes.  There is a New Balance shop in Manhattan that I always walk by and they have some sort of ‘professional something or other” on staff, so I will go there.  We will see if I can do this.

Also did my weights this morning.

Just finished my brunch of an egg (a REAL egg!  Sometimes I get a craving, lol, and I love egglands best eggs.  I swear they really do taste different) on a TLMGEM.  Get that, Tawnya?

I’m headed to the shower then mall for a little shopping, where I may indulge in an iced coffee.  Then the second half of my grocery shopping.  SBFF is coming back for dinner tonight.  Originally we were BBQing with the kids so she could spend some time with them, but now they won’t be home so I have no idea what we are doing.  Whatever we cook, it will be healthy anyway because she only eats healthy stuff. 

Perhaps it will not rain today (yeah, right, lol) and we will grill something anyway. 

Okay, hope everyone is having a happy, healthy weekend!  Hugs!

Only have a few moments to post and so much to say.

Billy Elliott was wonderful, as I expected it to be.  The Billy that was dancing last night was Kiril Kulish.  I am thrilled to have seen him, he is such a wonderful boy.  His talent just amazes me.

I think I ate some not-so-great sushi for dinner last night.  A headache began during BE and progressed from there.  The whole train ride home was awful, headache and nauseous.  I came home and took two old codeines I had at 2 am, then at 5 am I awoke in pain (stomach cramps).  Somehow I woke up at 8:30 in time for my haircut.  I was still nauseous and had a slight headache, but being awake anyway, I went.  I am sipping gingerale right now, with an english muffin.  Maybe I need to eat something real.

Got my haircut (short! for me … just past my shoulders) and my eyebrows waxed, and did a mini-grocery shopping trip.  I am sitting here contemplating yoga.  I feel crappy, but I am so angry that this has interrupted my “me weekend”, lol.  No kids, nothing to worry about, I can come and go as I please, and yet I feel horrible.  My head still has a dull headache.  I am hoping that I finish sipping/eating and I feel miraculously better for yoga, lol.

Right after yoga is pedicure, and then I am going to come home, shower, get dressed, and head out for a little shopping before MBFF’s DD’s dance recital tonight.  Oh, and SBFF is joining us too!  So it will be nice.

Tawnya - and anyone else, lol @ my silly acronyms!  MBFF = Married Best Friend Forever and SBFF = Single Best Friend Forever.  They are my two besties with two totally different lives, so I use those abbreviations to distinguish between them.  My MBFF has been married 10 years and has 3 children and lives locally, my SBFF is single, never married, but wants to be and wants children (and lives about 90 minutes away).  She has the career/social life MBFF and I drool over, and we have the children she drools over, lol.  We all live vicariously through eachother!

Okay well, I think I am going to attempt a few yoga poses here and see what it does to my head.  If moving around is going to make it worse, there is no sense in putting myself through that.  I am totally bummed.  And there is no way I can attempt running today, the pounding would kill me, lol.

I probably should take a nap.  Sigh.

In case you can’t tell, I am just so happy it is FRIDAY!

Food yesterday was excellent, water/exercise/TDP goals all met.  I did snack in the evening, that is because I came home from my kickboxing class with my stomach growling … looked at TDP and realized I had only eaten 900 calories for the day, so I had some pretzels and a few veggie fiber wheat thins.  Class was good.  We had a different instructor, and I really loved her.  I feel like a traitor to my “regular” instructor, but I am thinking I might have to try to make her Tues 6:30 classes.  Although then I’d miss my Tues yoga/pilates.  Anyway, it was a good class.

Cakes/cupcakes all got baked.  The wonderful thing about baking for others is that you get to have all the fun of creating/baking/decorating/giving without the calories.  If you like that sort of stuff, that is.  I did taste the frosting of course!  But I didn’t serve myself a bowl at the dining room table.

This weekend’s plans include Billy Elliott tonight!  And tomorrow yoga OR running OR - if I am really insane - both.  And a pedicure and eyebrow wax.  What is better than a spa pedicure?  A FREE spa pedicure courtesy of the Cupcake Festival contest.  Also trying to get a haircut.  I JUST this spring finally found a girl who I love to cut my hair - been ISO of a salon since my office moved over one year ago - and they CLOSED!  I called to make the appt and the number is disconnected.  So back to square one.  I refuse to go back to the last salon, they have too many people and the one girl chopped my hair and I don’t know any of the others.  I do have another place in mind though, so we shall see.  So, it is going to be a nice, relaxing, KELLY WEEKEND.

Saturday night I am going with MBFF to see her DD’s dance recital.  She is 6, it is so cute.  But the recital includes ALL of the dance school up to adults, so it is always a nice show.  And this year they are doing a Billy Elliott performance!

SBFF is supposed to come Sunday afternoon after she does breakfast/visits with her dad, and we were supposed to BBQ with the kids.  However, now twins are not coming home until Monday, DS12 home late Sunday … maybe I can talk her into a trail with me.

That is if this RAIN EVER STOPS!  We are at TEN inches this month so far which is crazy for us.  Forecast shows storms this afternoon, and it is very overcast this morning.  I think Seattle’s weather is lost and hanging out in NY.

B: Veggie EB on TLMGEM, coffee

S: Light Cinn Bun Yogurt (eating this one right now, its just okay, not as good as the cherry cobbler one was)

L: LC Mushroom Pizza

S: Nectarine

D: ??  In NYC.  Sushi at Grand Central?

Exercise day OFF after 7 consecutive workout days!

 Work has been a little quiet today which is nice because I have had such a busy week.  Off to wrap up some things and will be back to comment.

Have a terrific weekend gals!

Not really.  Actually, it is pouring rain AGAIN and my backyard looks like a pond.  But, other than that, it is still a beautiful day. 

Yesterday, I considered doing my walk/run taking the back roads TO the gym, doing my weights, and then walking/running home again.  The round trip is 4 miles, which isn’t bad, but I don’t think I would make it back home! lol.  I drove.  I was sooooo nervous doing the C25K there.  1) Brand new treadmills were added where they ripped out the Group Exercise room.  Monstrous treadmills, each with it’s own wide screen HD TV.  Very nice, but a little intimidating with all the options.  2) What if I made a fool of myself in front of people?  Other people running on the treadmill make it look SO EFFORTLESS!  So I get on it, fiddled with my ipod while I figured everything out and start walking to warm up.  I go to my podcasts and see that somehow I wiped out Week 1 of the C25K.  Grrrr!  But Week 2 was there.  So I figured … week two is just 90 second running intervals instead of 60, so I will do week 2 and stop running a little sooner than he announces to.  But guess what?  I did it, the whole week 2!  I did all the 90 second intervals of running!  Woo Hoo!  Overall the program is a half hour.  As I was running, I nearly LOL thinking of Diane’s comment yesterday or the day before, about the runners.  I am still chuckling over it.  :-)  After that, I did my weights.  And, not a morsel of food after dinner.  Go me! lol

Last night I started my online orientation for the college courses … I am halfway done.  There are tests in between and it was pretty involved.  I want to get it done because I won’t be assigned a mentor until I complete the orientation, and that takes two weeks, and then I can’t choose my fall classes until I have met with the mentor.  So tonight I have to bake XSIL birthday cake*, bake cupcakes for DS12 to bring to his dad this weekend, dinner, clean up, kickboxing class, finish orientation.

*I am baking XSIL a coconut cake because tomorrow is her birthday, and she is picking up the kids from me at Grand Central.  And even though she is not always very nice to me, she is good to the kids and without her help, the kids would pretty much never get to see stupid XH.  I know she will appreciate the cake.  I already made both frostings yesterday, so the cake is the easier part.

B: 2 mini bagels w/light cream cheese/raspberry fruit spread, coffee

S: yogurt - Cherry Cobbler flavor, YUM!  I don’t love yogurt, but this one is really good!

L: LC Shrimp dish

S: Peach or Banana

D: Healthy taco bake thingy

Exercise: Kickboxing

Water: 3 bottles

Log food!

Tomorrow is Billy Elliott!  Yippee! 

Super quick post …

Food yesterday, GOOD!  No snacking after dinner at all.  Exercise, GOOD!  Went to yoga/pilates class.  My legs were sore from the day before still. 

Dinner yesterday was a hit, kids definitely want to have it again.  I made the Eating Well Grilled Chicken and Pineapple.  I think the kids also liked the boneless skinless thighs for a change of pace … we are always eating just b/s breasts.

B: Thomas Light MG English, light butter, Cranberry oatmeal, Coffee

S: Nectarine

L: Campbells Select Light Italian Wedding Soup, Veggie Fiber Wheat thins

S: Kashi bar or yogurt

D: Kids are having frozen fish fillets that I don’t eat, so I will make myself tuna with leftover broccoli salad, leftover mixed veggies.

Exercise: Today is W1D2 of C25K PLUS Weights at Gym.  Pray for me! 

Work is busy today, so I must get to it.  Little DS has an end-of-year party that I must attend, so that cuts tomorrow short.  Oh, I do want to mention this conversation we had today.

Me to twins: Boss and Bosses Wife just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary on Monday!  Isn’t that wonderful?

DS6: How come you didn’t marry my daddy for 40 years?

Silence.  (What went through my head, “Well, I had every intention of that, but then he decided to sleep with someone else during his overnight work shift.”)

Me:  Well, we got married with the intentions to be married that long, but sometimes people change and are not happy, and you have to be happy in your life.  That is why, when you guys grow up and get married, you have to make sure you are marrying someone special who is the perfect person for you, so you too will be married 40 years.  (Said something along those lines, they are only 6 years old, I didn’t know what to say!)

DS: But Daddy did marry someone special and perfect.  (meaning me … who can argue with that? lol) (And with that, he comes and hugs me)

Me:  Yes, and out of that we got terrific special and perfect kids.

What else could I say?  It was sweet and sad. 

Okay, back to work!

For the first time ever, I actually lost 90% of a post here!  Grrrr. 

This weird thing has been happening, I first noticed it on Sunday.  Sometimes I feel very slightly short of breath for no apparent reason.  Yesterday it was a little overwhelming and I had to get up and walk around for a few minutes.  I am not huffing and puffing as in recovering from a workout - but I conciously find myself taking deep breaths and feeling like it’s just not quite enough.  I am not sick at all, I don’t smoke, have no other symptoms of anything.  I will give it another couple days and see what happens.  It’s just weird.  It feels like it is easing up again right now.  I wonder if I could have asthma?  Lol - I am NOT a hypochondriac!  This is just weird lately.

Despite that, I went for a walk/run yesterday. (Here is where I have to re-create what I lost, lol) … I really don’t have time to re-write the entire thing, so to make a long story short … I downloaded the C25K podcast which is fantastic because it is set to music (though a little weird) and it tells you when to walk, when to run, encourages you, etc.  I actually got through the whole thing and I am really proud of myself.  It almost, oddly enough, got easier as I went along.  BUT he said -after the 6th run - that at this point we should be feeling the run and tired but not out of breath.  Well, I was out of breath after the FIRST run.  He says we should be able to TALK during the running.  There is no way in hell I could have talked.  Once, my ear pc fell out and I heard myself breathing and I sounded like I was dying, lmao.  I can imagine what I sounded like to people walking by!  Oh well.  They probably were wondering if they should call an ambulance.  Anyway, I am going to stick with it, doing day 2 as my warm up tomorrow at the gym before weights.  I think.  I am worried about being out of breath, I don’t ever see anyone running at the gym that sounds like I did, haha!

Tonight is yoga/pilates.

B: Veggie EB on Thomas MG English, coffee

S: Nectarine

L: LC Parm Fish

S: Kashi bar

D: Grilled Teriyaki Chicken & Pineapple, Teriyaki rice, Veggie TBD

No evening muching last night!  Woo Hoo!

Today’s Goals:

• Log everything into TDP Done!
• 3 Bottles of Water Done!
• Yoga/Pilates Class Done!
• NO night time snacking! Doing it!

I have to make these things into habits again … baby steps with the water. 

XoXoXoXo!!!!

I sent flowers to a co-worker who had surgery on Friday and it appears they were not delivered, and now I am on hold 9 minutes and counting while they “look it up”.  Geez.  So much for 1-800-Nothing.

Weekend was good.  Got to the gym again yesterday for weights, which makes it three days in a row - lol.  Well, it is a start.  Cut the grass and did food shopping yesterday, made potato salad for tonight’s dinner.  Took a ride up to the animal sanctuary to pick up a sushi kit I had won in last week’s silent auction, and then on the home took the kids to Sonic for dinner.  DS12 had never been there, and although the first time I had taken the twins was a little disappointing, I thought we’d give it another try.  It is the ONLY Sonic anywhere around here, and it was such a big deal when it opened.  I only got one item, no combo or anything, and it was one bad-for-you item (fritos chili cheese wrap) and it again, was disappointing … soggy and just yucky.  And I had two other issues with the meal, kids forgotten food, etc. … I will spare you the details, lol.  Anyway, that was that.  Not going back, not worth it.

I ate poorly over the weekend.  I don’t know what I eat healthy all day to always bomb around or after dinner, it’s frustrating.  I was out Saturday, dinner at MBFF’s and just ate too much junk she had around the house, then continued to eat junk at 10 pm when I got home.  In reality I was exhausted and I should have called it a night, but instead I stayed up folding laundry and stuffing my face.  Last night wasn’t much better.  Sigh.

(13 minutes - they say flowers were delivered)

Today’s Plan:

B: Cinn mini wheats, 1/2 banana, 1% milk, coffee

S: Nectarine

L: Southwestern Veggie Soup, Veggie Wheat Thins

S: Kashi coconut choc bar

D: Grilled 95% lean burgers, lowfat potato salad, corn on the cob

Exercise:  Just Cardio - maybe machines at the gym?  Not sure … no good classes tonight, and I did weights last night so can’t do those again today, so maybe just elliptical or something?  Or if the weather is nice, maybe a nice walk/run on the rail trail.

I haven’t mentioned this, mostly because for the last, oh, ten years … I’ve been saying I was going to do this and I never make it this far, but I finally registered for college to go part-time.  I am going to do mostly online for now, we will see what I need to actually show up for in the future, lol.  It’s depressing because the way I calculate it, going part time taking 2 classes per term and doing the summer term, I will finish in 7 years .. lmao.  But, like I said, if I would have started way back when, I would be done.  If I don’t start now, in seven years I will STILL be sitting here writing the same old thing.  And maybe it won’t really take me seven years, maybe when I get the hang of it I can take more classes at a time.  I don’t know, life is already overwhelming at times.  We will see what happens.  Anyway, I have to set up a meeting with my mentor to see what I am going to start with (classes).  Going for my BS in business, management and science with concentration in Human Resource Management.  I hope it’s the right choice … this is the field I already work in and I do love it … on the other hand, I always wanted to be a Social Worker, lol.  Hmmmm.  Need to discuss this with the mentor.

Boss brought chocolate donuts in … lovely.  Actually, I have no problem passing up the boxed, commercially prepared ones … they leave a weird waxy residue in your mouth, lol.

Better start working.  Hugs to you all!

I have been working out to be thin. Gasp!

On top of that, going into each class at the gym, I realized I have been subconciously analyzing each person and wondered if this class was helping them lose weight, what they looked like when they started, what their goal was, etc. etc.  And today it hit me - I am ridiculous, and perhaps each and every one of them is happy as they are and they just FEEL GOOD going to the gym and exercising!  Regardless of size, they are strong, fit and happy.

It took only … ohhh, 8 to 9 years now, for me to realize that if I focus on the feeling of my body during and after - the strength, the amazement of what I can do - that mentally, it is so much healthier for me than to be there “because I want to be thin”.

Today as I was lowering myself into Chaturanga (in my yoga/pilates class) I realized - this feels easier than it used to.  I am doing it better!  And as cheesy as this sounds, that was totally awesome.  And my Crow is coming along also.

Have to run … getting kids ready to get going, but I wanted to pop in and write that.  The realization I had is much more involved in my head, hard to put it into type - lol.  But anyway, it felt good.  I felt good.

Love you all!

I think I am still half asleep.  I feel a little stiff.  Sitting at the office, sipping on my coffee, trying to clear the fog from my head to start the day.

I didn’t feel like going to the gym last night.  That is the problem with 1) not going in 6 days and 2) lousy rainy evenings.  On the other hand, it sucks to go to the gym when it is gorgeous weather out and you feel like you are “wasting” time indoors, so maybe the rainy weather is a +.  Anyway, I didn’t want to go, but within ten minutes of the class starting, I was so glad I was there … and by the end, I was feeling awesome and strong and happy I went.  That happens everytime.  I just wish I could remember the effects of the gym before I go, it would make it easier for me to get my butt out of the house.  There is always something to clean, wash, fold, pick up around the house - and there always will be.  And it will wait an hour for my class.  So, I felt good going.

The plan is weights tonight at the gym, early if possible - 6:30.  Then 7:30 taking DD to go get her friend a b-day present, and grocery store on the way home.  Tomorrow morning, 11:30 yoga/pilates class, home for lunch/shower/etc., 3 pm birthday party, then 5 pm dinner at MBFF’s house.  She is eating healthier - hasn’t weighed herself, but she has been walking 3 miles a day and on rainy days she is doing Leslie WATP, and I am proud of her!  So she is making a lean meat loaf, veggies, etc … I am making a FF pineapple angel food cake.  Hoping the rain stays away tomorrow night so kids can run around and play outside.

Breakfast today was cranberry flax oatmeal with banana, coffee.  Made a turkey on flat out wrap for lunch.  Snacks are 100 cal cheesecake yogurt and a nectarine.  Dinner is sloppy joes on whole wheat (made with 96% lean gb) … and not sure of sides yet.  Wish I had stuff for coleslaw … hmmm.

Okay, major headache brewing.  Work related.  GRRR!  I will be back.

Good morning ladies!

The induction ceremony was very nice.  The current 8th grade members each inducted a new 7th grade member, and they had to tell a little bit about that each student was involved in and what they wanted to be when they grew up.  There are an awful lot of forensic detectives and veternarians in our future, lol!  But it was very cute.  I managed to hold out on the phone until we got home later that night.  I stuck it on his dresser in between his various man-things (deodorant and colognes).  He had his bedroom door open and was walking back and forth doing something in his room, so the twins and I stood down the hall in the doorway of my bedroom as we called his new phone and watched his expression.  It was priceless.  He SCREAMED.  He is very, very happy.  He spent the rest of the night adding his friends to it and giving out his new # (great, I can see the bills now, lol) and changing settings, etc.  This morning, he woke up at 5:40 am because he was still excited about it! LOL!  Too cute.  (he didn’t wake me up … it wouldn’t have been cute if he had, lol)  So now he can ditch his cheesy prepaid phone.

Tonight is kickboxing … tomorrow is going to be weights … Saturday is going to be Yoga/Pilates.  I have had several days off in a row (due to circumstances beyond my control, so I am trying not to beat myself up about it, lol) and I need to get back into it.  Kids are home this weekend, so no traveling will be necessary.  DD has a birthday party to go to (yay … sarcasm) Saturday, smack in the middle of the afternoon.  I am talking like it is Friday already, still need to get through Thursday!

Breakfast today was cheerios with strawberries and 1% milk, snack was a banana.  Lunch will be a salmon lean cuisine, have a nectarine also for a snack.  Dinner is TBD.

I am getting a little annoyed with this therapist group that I called - I am supposed to wait until they call me with availability, but it’s been over two weeks so I need to start looking elsewhere.  I have finally come to the point in my life that I figured out I really do need to discuss my childhood with someone, and I can’t find anyone!  They either don’t call me back, are not accepting patients, don’t have a time slot I can make, or don’t speciailize in what the website says they do. I had three who were substance abuse counselors ONLY, but that isn’t what it says online.  Grrrr.  It’s a little frustrating.