(Maintaining Me) RE-Creating Me

Good morning.  Oh, wait, it is after 2 pm here.  Where has the day gone? 

Work has been incredibly busy.  After this week, things should simmer down a bit.  I think.  No, maybe after next week.  Well whatever, I have a four day weekend coming up - a desperately needed one!!  Tomorrow morning twins have a check up for camp and then its to the office we go with two back to back meetings which are going to be very stressful.  It certainly helps the day go by more quickly though.

B: Raisin bran, 1% milk, coffee

S: Apple, yogurt

Late lunch: Tuna on 100 cal flatbread thingy

D: Tilapia? Unsure

Exercise: Hmmph.  Hip is definitely still improving.  When my new shoes arrive, I may give them a whirl.  Not sure.

Goal: PMSish, goal is to not snack this evening and to not start baking a bunch of stuff to eat.  See, I am even THINKING as I type that “Gee what can I bake up?”  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Okay, have to write a tutorial on a process for a meeting tomorrow.  Fun!

HUGS!

ETA: I’m a loser.  I baked.  And baked again.  I did whip up a recipe of Zucchini Risotto though which came out fabulous!  Unfortunately, I didn’t eat it.  I made it tonight to go with Tilapia for dinner tomorrow.  Tonight I had a bowl of light ice cream, 3 chocolate chip cookies, and 2 cupcakes for dinner.  Yes, that was dinner.  Well, to be honest, if I had ate a normal dinner - PMSing, I still would have ate the junk anyway.  At least I just ate what I really wanted.  If it were one day a month, it wouldn’t be a problem.  The problem is it is 8 days out of the month, minimum.  And, can this be?  It is getting worse as I get older.  I definitely see the pattern.  I may need to revert to medication again.  There might be a positive to the side effects for those: who needs a sex drive when you don’t have a sex life?

On top of dealing with pmdd, I am super bummed about this hip thing.  I tried on my new shoes - LOVE them.  But of course I have to actually try them out.  To determine whether or not I should take them out on a test run, I ran - three strides - down the hall, and each time my right foot hit the ground, I felt it in my hip.  I know I am bitching an awful lot about this, so I apologize.  But I HATE NOT being able to exercise!  I hate losing control over anything in my life.  Which is ironic, because one thing I SHOULD be able to completely control (FOOD), I struggle with.

Super quick post … I always seem to SAY that, but then go into this lengthy novel … anyway

Pool today at MBFFs with kids.  Picnic lunch, made a BIG fruit salad, drank LOTS of water, brought a sandwich with me for lunch.  Then Five Guys on the way home for dinner.  I don’t feel guilty.  You are right Renee - AWESOMEST BURGERS EVER.  I feel bad for the Red Robin it sits RIGHT next to.  Probably ate more beef in one sitting than I do over the course of three months - literally.  But it was awesome.  Came home, felt sorry for myself.  Got angry over XH.  Ate some chocolate frosting, figured I blew today anyway.  Mixed coconut into said frosting, ate more.  Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

9 pm, kids are knocked out!  I am not going to clean, not going to work, not even going to play around online.  Going to shut this baby down and lay in bed, watch some mindless TV, then snooze.

Hip is not improving.  I sneeze, it hurts.  Starting to think this is probably not a good sign.

The day started out very warm and bright with a cloud-speckled sky.  I went to my early HOA meeting, healthy banana muffins in tow (huge hit!), then came home in time for MBFF to drop off her kiddos.  I completed and submitted my FAFSA and applied for this other working moms scholarship.  Then, took the kids outside and we grilled hot dogs for lunch. 

Finally, 1 pm arrives.  A nearby waterfront park was having its ribbon cutting and opening celebration - face painting, free ice cream, TONS of relay races and games for kids.  All free.  Perfect!  I pack up six children and we make it down there without any major catastrophes.  Kids hit the ice cream tent first (shocker) and I agreed because I figured that later the lines would be awful.  We go sign up for our first game, and at the stage a man starts the ribbon cutting ceremony because the sky to the north was looking pretty angry.  We are just about to start the first game and rain drops begin to fall.  We hang out for twenty minutes longer, stillll raining.  The women under the tents were very nice, trying to keep kids occupied, but that only lasts so long, lol.  Finally I decide we will have to head home.  If it clears up soon, perhaps we will try to get back there.  It really was a great way for the kids to burn energy.  Oh well.

The hip is still sore today.  It feels better than Thursday, but not much improvement since yesterday.  At first, waking up and walking around, it was a little less sore.  But then by the time I was leaving for me meeting, less than an hour after waking, it was back.  It’s still sore now, but again, only when I step down.  It probably didn’t help that I had to sprint to the car in the rain in peep-toe flats.  Well, at this point I have resigned to the fact that it needs a little more rest.  I did some tests on my feet - lol - like the wet foot stamp test to determine my arch, etc. and read several articles, and finally decided what type of shoe I need.  So then I purchased these.  I am really excited, it should be here Monday.  So if I rest, I am hoping hoping HOPING that I am fine by then so I can test them out!

At the board mtg this AM, I learned that a neighbor’s daughter has Stage 3A (?) breast cancer.  She had a double masectomy and needs radiation too.  She is 34 years old.  THIRTY-FOUR.  Cancer is horrible at any age, I understand that … but gosh, 34 years old with a 5 year old daughter.  She is having a very rough time emotionally.  At first she was determined to fight it, and now she has almost given up, mentally.  She needs to talk to someone who has been through this and fought it.  So, another board member (there are only 4 of us) told us that he battled cancer for seven years - and it was such an amazing eye opening things and one of the best things that has happened to him.  Now, I doubt very many people would call it “the best thing that has ever happened” to them - but the way he explained it was simply amazing.  And what an amazing person to come through that with a renewed sense of life, a different view of EVERYthing.  To hear his take on it was very inspiring.

Many of us could take that position and apply it to whatever the bad stage in our life was.

Can you believe - the rain just stopped and the SUN is shining??  We have been home 20 minutes! Lol

We probably will head back out in a bit, try this again!  DS6 is sleeping over MBFF’s with the boys because they are going to see Transformers, and I am keeping her DD6 with my DD for a sleepover.  I am looking forward to a little more quiet later on today.

hugs to you all … embrace today!

Good morning friends!

I have found that it is easier for me to find the time to post if I get it done first thing in the morning, so here I am. 

Yesterday … I limped around most of the day, but by the evening the pain was a little less severe.  I jogged in place (lmao) to see what would happen - I STILL really wanted to go to my kickboxing class.  My 12 yo looked at me like I was crazy.  He was like Mom, you are hurt, why would you want to go exercise?  So I explained I like my class, and I really wanted to have Fri-Sat as rest days to spend with them (kids).  He said, so naturally .. So you rest Fri and Sat and you exercise Sunday and Monday.  See, I guess I still have this weird obsessiveness about it.  What seems like the obvious answer to others, is such a difficult decision for me.  Or what shouldn’t even BE a decision … if you are hurt, why risk hurting yourself further?  The answer is because I always live my life on the edge of being afraid of stopping, that each time I stop (when it isn’t a sCHEDULED rest day) the exercising will stop altogether and I will gain a hundred pounds back.  Pretty crappy way to live.

But I didn’t go, I rested.  And I do feel better today.  I am still limping here and there, but nothing like yesterday.  I even slept a little on my hip last night and initially as I rolled there was discomfort, but no pain like the night before.  So it is definitely improving.  I guess today will also be a rest day … and problem is, even if I wake up feeling fabulous tomorrow, I have zero time this weekend.  We will see what happens.

So last night I finished cutting the grass (lol, yeah, not exactly resting) and decided to do food shopping so I don’t have to go over the weekend, since I had a free evening.  I will still need to go back for more produce, but got a good chunk of stuff purchased.  I baked some homemade bread to use in a french toast dish I want to make tomorrow.  I cleaned out the twin’s drawers and closets - GEEZ they have so much clothing!  I definitely do NOT need to buy them anymore summer clothes!  And I filled a kitchen garbage bag with clothing of mine that I haven’t worn in a long time, but keep holding on to.  I also learned a lesson:

Do not buy clothing you will never wear just because it is on sale for a great price.

I got rid of 4 or 5 shirts with tags on them still that I bought, oh, probably 3 or 4 years ago!  I suppose I could throw some stuff on ebay, but to be honest, I just want to get it out of the house while I am motivated.  It is sitting in the car waiting to be donated.

So, all in all, I guess it was a pretty productive day!

While at the supermarket, I was craving chocolate sooooooooo badly.  I thought about baking something healthy - but even doing that, I knew I would eat more than one serving.  So I bought myself a 3 musketeers.  Chocolate satisfaction that I can fit into my calorie budget, lol.  And I ate it, enjoyed it, and didn’t keep on eating all night.

The county I live in is sponsoring this 8 week program for families to help combat obesity in children.  It sounded really interesting.  Unfortunately, your children have to be between 9 - 14.  Hmmph.

Food today:

B: EB on EM again, sprinkle of bacon pcs, half pc lowfat cheese, coffee

S: Apple or pear

L: Sandwich, unsure

S: Fruit

D: Grilled steak, baked potato, veggies

Drink more water today!

Oh, yesterday I made a really neat sandwich.  It would have made a great wrap (if I had wraps).  I did a layer of avocado slices, then I made a ’salad’ of crab meat (imitation, like in seafood salad) with diced cucumber and a little light mayo.  Layered that on for a California Roll Sandwich!

Okay, getting to work.  Hugs!

——————————————————————————

Coming back to finish up. Diane, you are SOOO RIGHT!  But I like to think I am a “reformed shopaholic” … lol, only because I have NO CHOICE!  Haha.  And Linda, YUP!  I remember hearing Stacey say - you should only buy something that you ABSOLUTELY LOVE and feel wonderful in.  That makes sense, but I would spend a lotttttttttttttt of time shopping then!

I am in bed on my laptop.  Hip is ticking me off.  Ate a PB&Jelly .. well, fruit spread, for lunch.  Since I didn’t join boss and coworkers for lunch at Five Guys Burgers & Fries earlier this week (theres a new one here, geez!), he actually sent me $ to take the kids this weekend … and then told DD about it, so I guess we are going, lol.  See, I can’t stay mad at him.  He is very good to us.  Kids have been working with me all week.  So I just have to deal with his little quirks. 

Weekend plan is 9 am HOA meeting (ugh), 10 am kids arrive to babysit (MBFF’s 3 kiddos).  Noon we are going to grill hot dogs for lunch, have to figure out sides.  Her kids are superrrrrrrrrrrrr picky, so probably something like Mac and Cheese.  Then 1 pm we are heading down to the river where the opening celebration of this new park is.  Two years in the making, should be nice, right on the water (Hudson River).  Saturday evening, hanging out with my own kiddos.    No hiking this weekend, unless I really feel better.  Maybe will go see UP, I’ve heard great things about it.  Then, Sunday we are packing a picnic lunch and heading to MBFF’s development to the pool.  If I feel good Sunday morning, I think I might try a run.  Pool all day, then for dinner we will do 5 guys on the way home, which works out.  No cooking for me after a long day in the sun!  Or at least we HOPE for no sun!

I survived the evening sans snacks

For the last few days, I have been having mild on-again-off-again hip pain, only in my right hip.  It was a little noticeable Sunday night, worsened Monday, okay Tuesday, and then last night by the time I finished the C25K, every time I put pressure on my right foot I got a pain in that hip.  Lovely.  Like a lot of things in life, I ignored it, lol.

Today, I am hobbling around, every step causes pain in my right hip.  Wth?  I guess it is from the running?  I read another blog that mentioned hip pain doing her C25K and I was amazed … I really didn’t think it was from that, but I guess it is?  Anyway, I am not a whiner, but this is pretty ouchy.  And all I can think about is will I have to miss kickboxing tonight?  See - when I am good, I am too obsessively good that it can be harmful.  And when I am bad, I am really bad, lol.  I will play it by ear and see how I feel.

Boss is offsite at a meeting today.  :-)  :-)  :-)  I have a LOT of paperwork today, but lately I have been helping the finance crew redesign some revenue workbooks, etc. and today I am just not doing it.  Going to focus on MY stuff.  I was supposed to chair a meeting today, but in order to have that meeting to teach participants how to use the new spreadsheet, someone else had to finalize the input workbook and it isn’t done.  First I was really angry.  Now I am realizing, listen, I can’t do and/or control EVERY thing.  If it isn’t ready, there is nothing I can do.  The meeting will have to be rescheduled, and if it goes past deadline, it wasn’t my fault so be it.  (Easier said than done for a control freak like me!)

B: Egg beaters w/ tbsp real bacon pcs (those come in handy!) and 1/2 slice 2% cheese on TLMGEM, coffee

S: Fruit of some sort, lots to choose from

L: Making seafood salad

S: More fruit

D: BBQ chicken, unsure of sides yet

Exercise: Kickboxing??

Water: 3 bottles +

If I miss kickboxing today, there isn’t another class until next Tuesday, and if I go to that one, then I miss my yoga/pilates.  See why staying on schedule is so important? lol  Plus I really wanted rest days over the weekend, I have some things planned.  Oh well.  Loosen the grip, Kelly.

Paperwork beckons.  I shall return.

If I scream much more, I swear, I will lose my voice.  And my kids are good and I rarely ever raise my voice - I don’t really feel that is the way to handle misbehavior anyway - but this evening I am just losing my patience.  I just want some peace and quiet.

It started on the ride home from the Ortho.  The price wasn’t horrible - actually, it was probably the best I could have hoped for!  But still being several thousand dollars, even the best price poses an issue for a single mom of three on a budget.  I will figure it out though, I always do.  Anyway, THAT wasn’t the problem.  I was just going over numbers in my head and DS12 gives me an attitude about not stopping at a roadside farmers market because they are selling fresh pretzels.  I asked him “Why, did YOU have the money on him to buy everyone pretzels?”  And he looked at me with a terse, “Noooo” … but then was annoyed because he wants me to buy them.  It’s a bleepin pretzel, it’s not even the PRETZEL that bothers me … it’s his complete disregard for MONEY … like our parents used to say, MONEY DOESN’T GROW ON TREES.  And NO matter what, he can’t seem to get this concept!  He is going into eigth grade now … for example, he is old enough to know that when I tell him I have a shopping list and a set amount of money to spend at the supermarket, then he shouldn’t be asking me for frivolous crap!  So anyway, he has an attitude about the pretzels, he doesn’t really say much but sighing and a sarcastic okayyyy mom and tunes back into his iPod.  Rough life the kid has, huh?

So, this sort of pushes my buttons and I lashed out at him.  It went something like this: “Maybe you should have lived my twelve-year-old life for a while.  Maybe you can get a job and work all summer, than you can pay me rent, and then you have to buy your own school clothes with the rest of that money.  Oh, and how do you like my 12-yo braces?”  And at this I flashed him a huge smile, demonstrating the gap in my tooth and my much less than perfect smile.  Dental care certainly wasn’t my parents priority.

And trust me, I reallllllllllly held back.  I could have mentioned that I was raising my 8 year old brother, that that year we had no heat, that my parents were drunk more often than sober, that I was constantly rescuing my mother from her “suicide” attempts … that she drank every medication we had in the house and tried to drive away with us at 2 am only to crash into a ditch across the street and pass out, and my brother and I had to carry her back inside.  Alcohol and drugs came before food.  And shortly thereafter, we lived out of a car.  A 2 door hatchback.  That was MY 12 year old life.  And again, just a teeny percentage of it.

So, yeah.  Turn up your ipod and be pissed because you don’t have a pretzel.

This has a lot to do with what I mentioned in a comment to Holly earlier in the week … really comparing my life at my childrens ages to their life.  And don’t get me wrong: I am THRILLED that a pretzel is DS’s biggest concern! lmao!  But I just wish he appreciated things a little more.

How do you get kids to appreciate how great they have it WITHOUT exposing how bad it can actually be? 

——————– Here is where the language gets worse, lol ——————————

Anyway, I came home to a note from my boss -during my lousy two hours PERSONAL time I tried to take (which I got work calls on my cell all during) about a hotel reservation he was supposed to make, asking me if I made it.  Okay, I’ve said it before, I have to say it again.  Sorry for the language in advance.  I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING PERSONAL ASSISTANT.  THAT IS NOT MY JOB.  FUCKING HIRE SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU NEED THAT SHIT BECAUSE I HAVE ENOUGH TO DO AND I AM STRESSED OUT ENOUGH AS IT IS.  LORD KNOWS THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHERS IN THE COMPANY WITH NOT ENOUGH TO DO, UTILIZE THEM!  And btw, he didn’t have to make the reservation himself - he got an email from an exec asst in Corp telling him that she was handling the reservations and to let her know how many nights he needed … so why the fuck would I email her?  I didn’t even get the email, it was FOR HIM.  Why wouldn’t he REPLY TO HER??

Oh I’m sorry, he was probably too busy out shopping for yet ANOTHER car to add to his fleet.  One that has cameras to vibrate the steering wheel when you cross the yellow line.  You know, the important stuff in life.

——————— Ok, resume normalcy … for me, at least ——————————-

Whew.

So right now, I just want silence.  I am heading to the gym in a few.  Maybe running while this angry will be great.  Oh, I hear the rain on the roof.  POURING again.  Sigh.  I am not really angry with DS, I just want him to be appreciative.  I do more with these kids in a month’s time than my parents ever did with me.  Totally serious.  I try my absolute best.  I want to be a “success story” in every way. 

And I can’t always stop for the damn pretzels.

Sooo .. where to begin.  Yesterday: food good, exercise good.  Went to my yoga/pilates class but spent a great deal of the time looking at my reflection and how fat I am.  I really need to move to the other side of the room.  I go out of my way to look at myself, sometimes messing up poses to do so, just so I can criticize myself.  It’s crazy.  Or rather, I am crazy.  Calories were 1400.  Drank my water.  Didn’t eat last night.  Did some yard work too.

This morning … up, pee, strip, scale.  Probably TMI.  Up a pound … a frigging POUND … from yesterday.  I am going over my TDP records, I have logged EVERY BITE.  I range from 1000 - 1200 most days, with ONE day at 1560 (Friday) and yesterday was 1400 - still not enough to gain FAT.  And I’ve been working out religously!  But I haven’t lost an ounce, nope, I’ve only increased.  I am now officially ten pounds heavier than last summer.  Gee, and I wonder why my shorts are uncomfortable and my bras are all too tight.  So, needless to say, I am in a crappy mood.  I’m still ten days away from TOM, so that doesn’t explain it.  Whatever.  It is times like this that make me wonder WHAT THE HELL I DO ALL THIS FOR.  But then I look at my before pic, and no, I certainly don’t want to be there again.

Okay, I am going to stay off the scale for a few days, I am just driving myself crazy.  And giving myself further reasons to analyze my body at the gym.  Crazy!

I defrosted chicken which I thought were split breasts that I was going to braise for the chicken tamale casserole, but after I defrosted I see they are thighs/drumsticks.  I didn’t even know I HAD those, but anyway, that wasn’t the plan.  So I have this new LIGH Kraftt BBQ sauce, will give that a whirl, maybe tomorrow.

Boss just took me for a ride in his newest mercedes.  Seat inflates to adjust when you make turns to support you so you don’t turn in the seat.  And massages you. He always has 3 mercedes at a time: sedan, suv, and coupe.  Must be nice. 

B: Veggie EB on TLMGEM, coffee

S: Nectarine

L: LC Pizza or sandwich at home

S: Apple or Pear

D: LF hot dogs, sweet potato fries, veggies

Exercise: Run/Walk, Weights

Water: 3 + Bottles

Finish yard work!

Off to log food.  Bah humbug.

GM.  Awoke bright and early to getting work calls at 6:30 am, 6:34 am, 7 am and so on.  People, my office hours begin at 9 am.  This is the issue with getting to work from home in the afternoons and having my office phone forwarding.  Grrr.

Yesterday, I completed Week One of the C25K.  I mowed half of the lawn then went for my walk/run.  Renee - found a flaw with the App version.  One is not such a big deal, just wish they told you this earlier.  The App runs in the background, but you have to play it with a playlist or album and cannot change the music.  I learned this the hard way.  I went to switch songs, looked at my progress a couple minutes later, and saw that the timer was paused.  Switched music again and sure enough, it automatically paused it.  Grrr.  Okay, so I now know I need to choose a playlist and you cannot fast forward through songs.  But then, at one point, I was on a walk interval and I was like “Wow, why does this feel a lot longer than two minutes?” and I looked at the ipod screen and somehow it got paused on it’s own.  Grrr again! 

Anyway, I made it through.  And food was really good.  I felt a little snacky in the evening and I had some mini-pretzel sticks.  Twice more late at night I went downstairs and had to conciously remind myself that I am not physically hungry, I really don’t need to go into the pantry, and I managed to avoid night time eating.  Yippee!

And I WI again today, now .2 lbs heavier than Friday.  So, -.6 from yesterday, but still.  What???  Eating has been great, exercise has been great.  Sigh.

Moving on … Twins have a half day of school today and I have to pick them up at 11:30 am, bring them back to my office for lunch and a couple more hours of work.  This is why summer sucks, lol.  I put them in summer camp for 5 weeks so far, and I spaced that out.  $1500.  Would be nice if dumbass XH could help out.  Anyway, they don’t start camp until 7/6.

I’ve been thinking the last couple days about college.  I am done with orientation and awaiting my mentor assignment … but I am starting to worry about time management and how the hell I am going to work FT, parent three kids alone, go to school, and find time for ME (working out, or just quiet time even).  I don’t want college to make me fat again, I guess that is what this boils down to.  I just have to look at it as another challenge.  I seem to do well with that.

Food and stuff for today …

B: Raisin bran, 1% milk, strawberries, coffee

S: Apple

L: Turkey on wheat

S: Another pc of fruit

D: Turkey burgers, sweet potato fries

Water - 3 bottles (made yesterdays goal)

Exercise - Yoga/Pilates class tonight.  Tonight’s instructor is the male one and he never does the same Balance track as Zasha, so I don’t get to practice Crow.  I don’t like that.  But Zasha teaches Saturdays, and I can’t go this Saturday (babysitting) soooo it will have to do.

Okay, only 90 minutes of childless work so I better get productive! lol

When is a 100 calorie snack not such a good idea?  When they take processed, crappy for you products and just cut it into a chunk that equals one hundred calories and then market it as if they are good for you. 

Which brings me to this …

Okay, yes, yes - this is half eaten.  It didn’t occur to me to take a picture when it was in its entirety, but trust me, there wasn’t much more to it!  In fact, the bar you see is exactly HALF of a serving.  Notice, to help you put it into perspective, the size of it in relation to the water bottle cap next to it!  Four teeny bites.

This is an Oreo Dipped Delights Bar.  It tastes okay, but honestly, it basically just makes me crave something MORE.  Sweet, chocolate, whatever.  It’s tiny. 100 calories and 3 grams of fat … though it does have 4 grams of fiber, so that’s pretty decent.  But geesh.  These probably work out for some people, but I think that these types of snack are more a “trigger” for me than something to satisfy my craving. 

Should have stuck to my apple!

Early entry.  I just got to the office, and I am going to be busy once I get started and I have to cut my day short to get the kids, so I figured I’d write now.

Rest of yesterday was great.  Did I post before or after gym?  Well either way, went and did my run then weights, then did some shopping, then SBFF met me and we went on a trail.  Afterwards, it was late and just the two of us so I wasn’t going to grill, so she went to McDonalds and I had made myself a turkey sandwich and had summer slaw with it.  I actually fell short on calories again … but, go figure, this morning I weighed .8 lb heavier?!?!  I rolled my eyes at that one.  I know it isn’t fat, and I am not sure what is going on, but I have been exercising and eating exactly on plan.  And I still feel good.  So scale, screw you!

This afternoon kids come home and XH called to ask if I could drive a little further to meet them.  Sigh.  It is only 10 minutes, but, well, GRRR!  I take them all the way to the city, and now I am I still driving 40 minutes to meet them to get them.  He moved out of his sister’s house into an apt with his GF (again) … in Jersey.  Okay, so I wasn’t happy he was living so far from the kids when he was in Brooklyn because it makes it so difficult for them to spend time together and he can never, ever do any of the day-to-day stuff, but he was working in NYC, so fine.  Now he gets this apartment = 1.5 hours AWAY from work, in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION completely from where the kids live.  He is now again over 3 hours away from them.  Who the hell makes that decision?  He is commuting 3 hours a day - to live with her - but he couldn’t commute that to live near his kids?  Or even HALFWAY?  This infuriates me.  So I lashed out about it this morning, and he said it was his decision to make.  Ummm YA and you decided that someone else was more important than your children.  He’s just a bleepin jerk.  Whew.  Sorry, I haven’t complained about him in some time, I needed that one! lol

Oh, last night I had two bananas that I was going to have to bake with or toss so I looked up a few recipes and tweaked them and came up with this which came out SO YUMMY and according to TDP, 177 calories and 1 gram of fat each, and the WW flour adds fiber.  And they are pretty hefty sized muffins:

• 2 overipe bananas, mashed
• 3 tbsp egg beaters
• 1 tbsp light butter
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup whole wheat flour
• 2/3 cup all purpose flour
• 3/4 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Mix wet ingredients (first three) then stir in sugar.  Mix remaining dry ingredients separately, fold them into wet.  Spoon into 6 muffin cups, bake @ 350 for 20-25 minutes (just watch them and test with a toothpick, I didn’t really “time” them). 

If I had baking splenda, I could have really cut the calories with that and made them super healthy.  They are soooo moist. 

Food for today:

B: 1 banana muffin, coffee … yogurt later but I forgot it! darn

S: Apple or Nectarine

L: LC Tortilla Fish

S: Other fruit I didn’t eat in the morning

D: Something easy around the house … maybe boca chik’n sandwich

Exercise: Not sure … no class today, and I did weights and run yesterday.  I am supposed to have a rest day between running but maybe I will do it again anyway, lol.

WATER: At least 3 bottles, only had 2 yesterday.

My stomach STILL doesn’t feel “right” so I am really wondering if that sushi wasn’t so great on Friday.  Hmmm.

This week is going to be a crazy one … kids have half days tomorrow and wednesday, then they are done.  I didn’t enroll them in camp until starting with the July 6th week, so lucky me, I have all this week and next week to work with them.  Wednesday DS12 has an ortho appt. and Saturday I am babysitting MBFF’s kids.  Will probably put together a ‘workout schedule’ in a few.

Let me post this and get going … HAPPY MONDAY!