I realize, even so many years after being in ‘maintenance mode’, Fat Kelly still exists within my head.  There is a direct parallel between Fat Kelly, wrapping up each night with a big bowl of chocolate ice cream and doritos, to maintenance Average Kelly, stuffing her face absentmindedly as she does school work, too consumed with Algebra to bother doing any recreational math such as counting calories.  
 
I managed to polish off 2/3 a jar of Salsa Con Queso in the hour before dinner (and while cooking).  Has anyone else actually eaten crushed up chips mixed with a little dip with a spoon, because they are too small to dip?  Yup (hanging head) - guilty!  And who are they kidding anyway?  Salsa Con Queso is 99% Queso/1% Salsa - IF you can classify those few floating pcs of red whatever-it-is as salsa. 
 
I keep telling myself after DS’s birthday party I will get back to normal.  Normal GOOD me, not normal bad me.  Hell, I am not sure which one is normal anymore?  It is an excuse to indulge, anyway.  When I tell myself I am starting after such-and-such event, or whatever date, it appeases the guilt and gives me permission to overeat when I shouldn’t be.  I still have the guilt built in.  Where does it come from?  Anyway, I can remember in high school with MBFF or whatever she is now (we are still talking), we would say we are going on diets tomorrow and then go all out with bags of cheese doodles and rolls of tollhouse cookie dough.  Those we baked, but sometimes we ate raw cake batter.  And the next day? The diet never started.
 
In 2001 when Fat Kelly started, there was no cut off.  There was no final meal to indulge in: I didn’t want it.  I made up my mind, in the middle of a week no less, and just changed.  There was no looking back.  It was so different.
 
So, grow up Average Kelly.  If they kids are fighting, an oreo doesn’t make that better.  You don’t need to pick on snacks while you are cooking.  You don’t need halloween candy every time you walk by the damn bowl.  I mean, really, this is irresponsible and GROW the F UP.  Yup, life is a little more stressful now.  You have no time.  You have no time for posting, exercising, hell - you don’t even have time for CLEANING half the time!  So deal with it.  You are going to college and this is what your dream always was.  And your other dream - being healthy.  Are you really going to give up one dream while pursuing another?
 
No.  And there is no reason … no, no EXCUSE … to eat crap until after DS’s party.  The party isn’t even for you.  GROW UP.