Thank you all for your wonderful comments last night. Each of you - have no idea how much it means to me. It is PMS time which means that the usual drags in life are ten times worse for me, I hate this. I don’t know why I have this fixation on my body, because in reality, I am very blessed to have everything else I have (ty Paperskin for reminding me of this :) ). Lately, I have felt better about my life and been happier than I have been in a long, long time … it is just my body that I have these hang ups about. Though, if my body were perfect, I know I would find something else. I have a lot of positive things going on in my life: I am going back to school, my lifelong dream! I suppose this is also a source of anxiety though - wondering if I will really make it. Just have to forge ahead. I am in a very happy place with R that I am thrilled about. My kids just keep amazing me with how wonderful and smart they are, they are just precious to me. I have baby eggplant growing in the back yard. My mother is sober for 6 years now. I am very blessed.
Went to therapy session #3 last night … I am starting to like her more. We spent the entire time discussing MBFF and it was reassuring to hear from her some input on the situation. She will teach me some tools I need to set boundaries, to be able to say no when I just can’t do something for her (and others) without feeling guilty.
I didn’t eat anymore tootsie rolls … lol … I think the food was the pre-therapy to my therapy, know what I mean? I was anxious and that is how I dealt with it. I need some tools for that, too. Played games with the kids, and after they were in bed I made myself walk last night. 45 minutes on the treadmill. I wanted to get in bed at a decent time, by 10 pm to get a good nights sleep … got there at 10:30. Not too bad.
Today’s Food
Exercise: Firm DVD
Other To-Do:
Need to drink water.
kotapaint
July 28th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Re note on my post: I knew it was tootsie rolls because you wrote that you reached for another! Wish I could claim to clarivoyant (sp?) but I’m not. lol
Changes produce anxiety of differing degrees for me. Even good change like starting school, moving, therapy, etc., so it makes perfect sense to me that you had tootsie rolls…:)
Takes one to know one and I’m looking in the mirror when I read your post!
You aren’t selfish if you set boundaries. When you first start setting them, some folks will react, because they aren’t used to the boundaries and perhaps will think something has happened between you when really, you must need some space for yourself. When I started setting boundaries, I blamed it on getting older…just couldn’t take all the hurry, scurry anymore, needed to slow down–enjoy life, my kids, my home, etc. Don’t know if that helps at all, but there it is!
laura705
July 28th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I’m glad you are seeing all the blessings in your life, and I hope your therapy provides you with tools to deal with the body image issues.
lindat
July 28th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Seeing the blessing is a good start. May I also recommend volunteer work? Really SEEING how others live that are in need has been a tremendous gift to me in my life.. the crosses I bear are nothing compared to them
loosingme
July 28th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
sorry I missed you yesterday. Baby eggplant growing in the backyard….my GOD girl, you are soooo blessed! LOL JK. Linda really has a point about the volunteer work. So rewarding. HUGS!
TawnyaInControl
July 28th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
I’m glad you’re beginning to like your therapist. That will help in learning your new tools. I love tools. Tools help us to heal. I like healing. LOL…
Life has hard points, so I’m learning. There isn’t a handbook other than the Bible, and I don’t always feel like reading that. I love Jesus and The Word, just don’t like reading it. Hahaha…
When I was in school, I learned under some of the neatest Ph.D’s. One of my favorite female professors said “The best therapists are our friends”. …love heals.
We all love you here at 3fc. It’s nice to be reminded of our blessings. We need that too, I believe.
You have been so good to me through your comments. YOU are MY blessing.
*hugs*