Dinner tonight was 4 fun size hershey bars and a handful of baked cheetos.   The dinner of champions.  I ate 3 of the mini-hersheys and then thought, what the hell, may as well finish them off so they don’t tempt me.  Fat-girl logic that still lives within my head.  It was a weird food day.  I had a late breakfast of egg beaters on an english muffin around 11 am when I got home from the gym *yes I went* while I finished up the BTS cake and made a quiche.  Around 3 I had some spinach dip, 1.5 pcs of pizza, and a small pc of BTS cake, so that was sort of my lunch/dinner, but then I ate the candy.  The kids came home with a big bag of candy from XH’s mom, grrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Couldn’t she just send them home with pretzels or something?  Nope, they get bags of hershey miniatures and huge tubs of gummy worms and 3 packages of kraft cheese-cracker thingys … remember those?  With the little red plastic cheese spreader? lol
Anyway, calories were 1500-and change, which isn’t horrendous.  Life goes on.
The party wasn’t that bad.  Things are still strained, at least for me.  I have to just learn to let it go.  Or not, and make some changes.  I am sort of tired of “letting it go” … I am owed an apology, but I am probably not going to get it.  Whatever.
Going backwards for a bit:
Friday night was really nice.  We just walked the city, went to B&N and picked up a book on Turks and Caicos, had dinner and just walked around.  Too long to write, but we had such a good conversation that I feel really at peace about.  When I am in a relationship, I am not a good communicator, normally .. I am (working on WAS) really guarded with everything I would say.  I only have this problem with men, lol.  I really thought I didn’t have any trust issues, even after the situation with XH - if you asked me 3 months ago, I would have said no way, but it is clear now that I do.  I tend to mask feelings because I feel like I would be giving away the upper hand, I would be making myself vulnerable.  But that is really no way to live.  Anyway, spoke with R a lot Friday and even though it was a little scary and hard to do, it was really freeing doing it.  It feels REALLY good.  We are on the same page with things, and I am not getting back into a relationship with him right now because I have a LOT of work to do on myself, but we are going to spend some time together here and there, and we are going to take that trip.  Anyway, I went back home to my moms and slept over there (if you can call it that, I don’t sleep well in other people’s beds, lol).
Yesterday was a lot of fun.  I am NOT a good city driver … my mother lives a little north of the city but people still drive like maniacs.  My mom was a little freaked out with my driving, lol.  She kept saying I was going too fast when I was doing the speed limit.  We got lost.  A few times.  We can laugh about it now though … we grabbed starbucks on the way out, I got a new bathing suit and some cute summer things at the mall.  Mom got a new AC she needed, a new handbag, shoes, and some other things for the house.  It was a 10 hour day, lol.  Finally left there around 7 pm, stopped to do food shopping at home and didn’t get home until 10 or 10:30 pm … then had to bake.
DS12 is folding the laundry so let me go help him.  Tomorrow is going to be the start of a busy week!