Sooo .. where to begin. Yesterday: food good, exercise good. Went to my yoga/pilates class but spent a great deal of the time looking at my reflection and how fat I am. I really need to move to the other side of the room. I go out of my way to look at myself, sometimes messing up poses to do so, just so I can criticize myself. It’s crazy. Or rather, I am crazy. Calories were 1400. Drank my water. Didn’t eat last night. Did some yard work too.
This morning … up, pee, strip, scale. Probably TMI. Up a pound … a frigging POUND … from yesterday. I am going over my TDP records, I have logged EVERY BITE. I range from 1000 - 1200 most days, with ONE day at 1560 (Friday) and yesterday was 1400 - still not enough to gain FAT. And I’ve been working out religously! But I haven’t lost an ounce, nope, I’ve only increased. I am now officially ten pounds heavier than last summer. Gee, and I wonder why my shorts are uncomfortable and my bras are all too tight. So, needless to say, I am in a crappy mood. I’m still ten days away from TOM, so that doesn’t explain it. Whatever. It is times like this that make me wonder WHAT THE HELL I DO ALL THIS FOR. But then I look at my before pic, and no, I certainly don’t want to be there again.
Okay, I am going to stay off the scale for a few days, I am just driving myself crazy. And giving myself further reasons to analyze my body at the gym. Crazy!
I defrosted chicken which I thought were split breasts that I was going to braise for the chicken tamale casserole, but after I defrosted I see they are thighs/drumsticks. I didn’t even know I HAD those, but anyway, that wasn’t the plan. So I have this new LIGH Kraftt BBQ sauce, will give that a whirl, maybe tomorrow.
Boss just took me for a ride in his newest mercedes. Seat inflates to adjust when you make turns to support you so you don’t turn in the seat. And massages you. He always has 3 mercedes at a time: sedan, suv, and coupe. Must be nice.
B: Veggie EB on TLMGEM, coffee
S: Nectarine
L: LC Pizza or sandwich at home
S: Apple or Pear
D: LF hot dogs, sweet potato fries, veggies
Exercise: Run/Walk, Weights
Water: 3 + Bottles
Finish yard work!
Off to log food. Bah humbug.
loosingme
June 24th, 2009 at 9:57 am
LOL at boss’s car. I didn’t even know there was technology like that!
I don’t know what the answer is about the gain. I would imagine, if you look back in the year, you will find the answer deep in there somewhere. But you can’t go back, you can only go forward…..and that is what you will do.
Uncomfortable fitting clothes are a great motivator to pass on the junk…..unfortunately, for some of us, even those little bites of junk here and there, over time, add up.
HUGS!
loosingme
June 24th, 2009 at 10:23 am
we are gong on vacation for a full week and a day….
Def check out those burgers. Jacob HATES salmon….he would rather starve than eat it….he loved it. Gobbled it right up, and you cook them from frozen, so no need to thaw and prepare. I think they would be good on a bun with lettuce and tomato too.
moonfairy
June 24th, 2009 at 11:16 am
you sound like me. when i’m standing in yoga class and i’m analyzing myself in mirror, i can’t help but think how un-proportionate my hips are to the rest of my body. it’s the one body part i hate the most…well, that and my stupid belly.
don’t feel so bad about your 1 lb gain. i’m back up 4.5 lbs from my goal weight and i really don’t care right now. tired of “dieting” and exercising and still not feeling healthy. what’s the point? sorry, i’m such a downer today.
laura705
June 24th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I hated attending Jazzercise classes held in a mirrored room - seeing not just the usual stuff that causes angst, but also red-faced and sweaty. About that pound - maybe you’re building muscle from the classes and weights. In this hot humid weather, I feel swollen all over - my watch feels tighter. Wonder if that’s part of it. Do you feel healthy, and can your body do what you need it to do for yourself and your kids - that’s what’s important.
lindat
June 24th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I don’t look at myself in mirrors when I walk by. me in profile is a frightening sight. I have noticed when I am doing my cardio that almost everyone walks by and looks at themselves in the mirror sideways. I never do… if you are crazy, I’m right there with you!
When that mercedes makes a vibrating heating seat, I am there,.. who mneeds a man?
Food weighs .. water weighs.. you KNOW not to weigh yourself daily. GOOBER!