19Mar2009
Filed under: Life
Author: Kelly
Well, maybe not so shocked when I sit and really think about what is going on in her life, but in two hours my BFF of 16 years is being admitted into a psychiatric hospital. This is SBFF - Single, not MBFF (married with 3 kids). She’s been having a really REALLY tough time the last several months. Last year her 6+ year relationship crumbled and her engagement was broken off. (By mostly her, he was a jerk and she realized that) But since then she has been in a series of weird relationships, back and forth with the cheating ex, and in some situations that are NOT even relationships, if you know what I mean, but not exactly healthy … and she absolutely cannot function if she doesn’t have some man fawning over her 24/7. If they aren’t chasing her, she is super severely depressed. (I mean seriously - if she texts one and they don’t respond, she will text someone else from the past who she may not even be speaking with currently but to flirt and make plans with him, if that doesn’t work it is like she crashes) She is on meds, she is seeing a psych, but it isn’t helping. Tonight she told her sister (she lives with her now, thank God) that she didn’t want to live anymore, and that was the last straw. They called the hospital and they spoke with her right over the phone (intake?) and told her she needed to be admitted.
I don’t know what to do for her. First, I am 1 hr 45 min away from where she is and the hospital. Second, I can’t tell anyone as it is top secret. This means I can’t tell MBFF - especially her, because oddly enough they are related by marriage but their two sides of the family hate each other and if someone from MBFF’s side found out and started talking (they can be childish like that), it would be terrible. So I can’t tell her - and not because I don’t trust her, but because MBFF believes she can trust her mom and tells her mother everrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyything and her mom will be the one to blab to someone else. You know how it goes. So anyway, MBFF would be the one to babysit in order for me to take a roadtrip up there! This is the time it REALLY SUCKS to not have any family around! The only other alternative would be take the day off Monday and go while the kids are in school, so as long as she is still there and can have visitors at that point, that is my plan. I don’t even know if she can have visitors! I don’t know how this works or what they are even doing for her. I don’t know what life for her will be like when she is out. I mean, what is the problem - men? So does she stay away from them? I know clearly that she has some issues that stem from something else and this issue with men is the result, I just don’t know how she will get better. She isn’t making ANY progress with her current psych who she LOVES and raves over and is so glad she found! So what now?
I am nauseous. And in pure Kelly fashion, I ate bread with peanut butter and a box of nerds as soon as I found out. I can’t even speak with her right now … hoping her sister has time to update me tonight. I wonder if she can have phone calls once she is settled in?
Why does life have to be so stupid and so difficult sometimes? I know that is a retarded question, I am just angry at the world right now. Going to do some yoga and think.
madcat
March 19th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Sometimes life is just stupid because… It’s good that your friend is getting the help that she needs. There should be no shame in needing help and getting it.
laura705
March 20th, 2009 at 7:13 am
Sorry your friend got to this point, but hopefully she will get the help she needs. My neighbor just went through that, and I think she’s going to therapy sessions, which she’s done off and on in the past. Her family is trying to control her activities now - she’s not supposed to be driving, or using her cell phone or laptop and they are trying to get her off her meds. I don’t know if any of it is working, or how much she’s going along with. All I know is she’s having a LOT of purchases/packages delivered to our house and it’s a secret. She didn’t ask in advance, she just did it, but it’s starting to bug us that she’s drawn us into the subterfuge. So the therapy sessions she does with her husband probably are not as effective as they could be…
canadagirl
March 20th, 2009 at 7:58 am
wow I am sure glad that your friend is getting some help it is amazing what a man or stress can do to our minds or how we function. Dido to madcat she should be so proud of herself for taking the steps to get some help and she should be honoured to have a friend like yourself
have a great day
loosingme
March 20th, 2009 at 9:49 am
aw….HUGS kelly. Well, one thing for sure is, you can’t fix her….she needs to heal with the help of professionals and with the grace of God and herself. It must be very hard to sit back and not DO anything…as I know you are a “doer.” All you can do at this point, is let her know, that you will be there for her, no matter what, you won’t abandon her. And that doesn’t mean you need to be there physically, but just “be there.” you know what I mean.
she is ill, and definitely needs help and thank god, like you said, others around her heard her cries.
I am sorry you have to deal with this. You ARE a great friend. Big, big hugs to you!!!!
lindat
March 20th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Speaking as someone who has dealt with clinical depression for 15 years now, I can tell you the problem isn’t men. The problem is her lack of self esteem that has spiraled out of control and must have turned into some sort of deep depression or psychosis and a real illness. You don’t get sent to a psych hospital just because you are sad. It is serious stuff. Men are just a symptom of the illness, just like for some people ( me) obesity was a symptom of mine.
When you see her, be sure to confirm her decision to go to the hospital. There is still a stigma associated with mental illness and she probably is feeling embarassed and weak. I know I felt terrible at first, like I was just a wimp and I should have been able to just suck it up and deal with it. But beign depressed for so long changes the body’s chemistry and sometimes you cannot find the right mix of meds/therapy as an outpatient. I really hope she is sucessful and let her know we are all pulling for her!