Nip and Tuck

Finally Friday! This week has been exhausting. I finally feel like I am getting in a routine again with exercising. It is definitely harder with having a treadmill here. I become lazy and just want to run here and not go to the gym and strength train. Wednesday I start back up with the trainer so hopefully things will pick up from there.

I am trying to write down everything I eat. I have tried this in the past and I keep up for a couple of days and then I just stop. It’s kind of like writing in here, I am hoping I can just keep up in here.

I can’t help but be jealous of ReNae for getting the reconstructive surgery. Ya I know she has been through a lot with having been well over 300 lbs and then having the other surgery, but after this surgery she won’t have anymore “flaws”. I told my mom and that she flipped out saying that I was wrong and yes she will have scars and it’s just a nip and tuck. I know she’s right, I am very lucky to not be at the weight she was and having to go through the surgeries and embarrassment. My mom even said that she might not have smooth skin if they nip and tuck. I am lucky to not have an eating disorder either. I just want to take the easy way out I guess.

Ok enough with my pity party.


Hopefully I can summarize the past two days fairly quickly. Not much has happened. I went out to Jimmy John’s with some friends for lunch yesterday and I did ok. I still can’t seem to drink the 100 oz of water. I quit trying to keep track because I become too obsessed and it goes the opposite way. I finally went and bough a WW scale last night so right away this morning when I woke up at 5:30, I weighed myself. It said 190lb. I freaked because my scale wasn’t measuring right so I got on again after a while and it said 190 again. I was thinking there is no way in hell I could weigh that. That is 10lbs down from a couple of months ago. So I let it go and I was talking to my dad tonight about how to test it out to see if it was measuring right. He said to get on the Wii Fit and see what I weighed. The Wii hates me so it would tell me. I know it’s off by a couple of lbs. but I would still be able to tell. So I got on the Wii and sure enough 10lbs. down!! I felt like dancing when I seen that. It is very hard to believe that I weigh that much. Hopefully I don’t mess it up. I am just shocked because I haven’t been trying at all. I thought I would have gained 10lbs.

So there is my past two days in a nutshell.

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Monday, Monday, Monday

Mondays are hard for me with food. I started off ok but I look back and think of things I shouldn’t have done. Let’s see if I can remember what I ate.

Breakfast-I had one of my homemade caramel rolls ( I know I couldn’t help it, thankfully I only have 2 left and the rest are at my parents.)

Snack-I had my greek yogurt and like 15 almonds

Lunch-leftover meatloaf and hashbrowns

Then afternoon snack is where it went to hell. I had like 2 hershey nuggets, some pretzel m&ms, and hershey almond kisses

Supper-leftover homemade pizza with some honey roasted peanuts.

On a positive note though, I managed to avoid an apple fritter and some cake. Crystal’s birthday was today and Nettie bought rolls and she bought me an apple fritter. At the time I wasn’t hungry so I said thank you maybe later. Well Jason came back over and saw it and he ate it. Better him than me, his scrawny ass could use some fat on it. Then Stacey brought cake from her boyfriends birthday. Katie kept telling me to get a piece but Stacey didn’t tell me directly so I didn’t want to invade on it. Good thing I didn’t because I resisted that urge when Katie told me she would bring me a piece. I am pretty proud of myself.

I downloaded a water intake app. I am not sure why it says I need 100 oz. but I didn’t come close to it. I try to drink but I get so full that I am ready to throw up. It gives you a reminder every 30 mins. I can’t drink 8 oz every 30 mins. At work I have a 24 oz glass and it’s hard to get that down in 2 hours. When you’re sitting at a desk you aren’t moving much so you aren’t thirsty as much. I only got maybe 40% of the way to my 100 oz. I am just going to shoot for 64 oz. on the days I am not doing much activity. I am hoping to get to the gym tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Maybe I will run here on my treadmill a couple of those days, but I am hoping to get more active again.

I was asleep before 10:30 last night and feel like I need to go to bed now. Hopefully I can get to the store tomorrow for a scale and push my water intake a little more tomorrow.

Let’s see how this goes…

I have always tried to do a blog but always fail at them. Hopefully this one will last longer.

This past week I seen my trainer at the gym and she said she was coming back full time this next week from maternity leave so I am super excited to get back to work. It made me realize though that I have been really slacking since our last time in the middle of December. I am not going to put a start day on it because with my past experiences, these never worked for me. It’s all about changing a few things for me and implementing new habits. I am hoping by writing this blog that I will be able to see what I need to work on. Just sitting here thinking what I need to change, I can’t think of much but I know I do. My snacking could be healthier. My meals are some what healthy and I have been trying to get away from the processed foods a little bit at a time and getting away from the canned things, but I could shape up the meals a bit more. The holidays killed me. I usually don’t by chips but I have ate a lot of chips lately. I don’t go to the grocery store a lot because I get there and can’t think of what I need. I have a hard time planning meals out for myself because it’s hard to cook for one person. So lists are hard for me to make too. I would like fast meals. The recipes I find take time so I may make a good meal but I am so tired of cooking after that day that rest of the week I don’t make anything. People ask me what I eat since I am not a big meat eater, but I do eat me, and I can never think of what I eat. Hopefully writing in here what I eat each day will help. As long as I can remember to do that.

I am not sure of my exact weight right now but last time I weighed myself like a month ago I was 198. I am guessing I am about 200-202 if I am lucky. I do need to go buy a scale so I can keep track. I am thinking if I can lose 35-40 pounds I will be good. I hate the whole BMI thing because they don’t take bone structure in to consideration with it. I am 5’8 and I don’t have a petite frame. I am not man like and extremely broad but being at 135 would look bad on me. I am going to shoot for 160-165 for my goal. When I weigh in again with my trainer I will find out what would be a good weight for me.