It has been forever since I posted here, but a lot’s happened.

The last three weeks of term rushed by in a blur.  I had assignments for every week and research duties too.  Add work and revision to the mix and you produce a Katy with little time for anything else but sleep.  But they’re done now, and that’s the main thing.

I contracted a horrible chesty cough/cold last week, and am only just beginning to recover.  I had to go back to work today but I was well enough and I need the money!  My nose is still blocked but other than that I am pretty well recovered.  My appetite has been lacking while I’ve been ill, and I’ve eaten little more than one small meal a day.  So I was surprised to have gained .8lb this week, but I’m not being phased by it.

Why?  Well, there’s no real reason.  But our financial situation has been pretty dire the past few months, and it’s finally started to improve and the difference in my mood is spectacular.  Will and I are so much happier as well it’s had a knock on effect to every aspect of my life.  Some such effects being that I am more confident again, I am happier and I have regained my healthy self-image.  In other words, the demon voice that was shouting “YOU FAT UGLY COW!  YOU’RE DISGUSTING!” every time I looked in the mirror has finally been exorcised.

Because I’m not fat.  I’m a size 10, I have a healthy BMI.  I could do with losing a little weight, but it’s more about toning muscle and become fitter.  So I am doing exercise now because I want to and because I enjoy it.  I am seeing a difference in myself - how much of it is due to my shift in attitude I’m not sure.  I’m not crazy, I know I’m carrying extra weight on my tummy and on my hips, but I also know I could be doing a hell of a lot worse.  So I’m still weighing myself every week and going back to doing measurements next week but it’s more to keep a casual eye on things than to be very strict.  I’m still working towards my holiday body goal, but it’s with a healthy frame of mind.  Not a crazy one.