Well last night, before going to bed, I got my boyfriend to take my “before” pictures for me.  I wanted something for comparison when I lose weight.  Let me tell you, that was an incredibly uncomfortable experience!  I’m used to holding in my stomach all day; even if it’s only marginally.  Having to bare all was…. humiliating.  My boyfriend tells me he loves me unconditionally, and I believe him, but during a frank discussion he did tell me how much he loved me, that I was still attractive and sexy, just that I was more so when I was a bit thinner.  Please though, don’t accuse him.  We have an honest relationship, and I asked him to honestly comment on my weight.  It wasn’t easy for me to hear, but I know it wasn’t easy for him to say either. 

 Those pictures offered me more than just a before snapshot though.  They served as a huge incentive.  I look in the mirror every day, but some how managed to get away from the reality in front of me.  But those pictues are a physical proof I can’t deny.  They’re tangible reminders of how clothes that are yet another size up are getting tighter, that they contain me in a vice-like grip when I sit down, that dressing isn’t nearly as fun as it used to be, that I don’t feel sexy at all any more.  And they’re also a reminder that if I don’t do something, my relationship with my boyfriend is going to suffer.  I’ve lost so much self-confidence that I can’t be proactive in our relationship, I miss enjoying being cuddled and feeling confident and attractive.  I need to solve this problem, so that I can feel better and so that we can feel better.

 So now I have a goal, initially to lose 10% of my body weight (1 st - 14lbs) in 5 months.  Please feel free to comment on that target - whether you think it’s too small, or too long a time.  I wasn’t sure how much time to set myself, but I hope that’s a reasonable goal.