Archive for June, 2013

Using hedonism to my advantage.

Friday, June 21st, 2013

When I try to change my unhealthy behaviors through guilt and self-denial, the process always backfires on me.  I end up feeling resentful, angry, guilty, and frustrated. Frustration becomes hopelessness, and without hope, I see no reason to continue the self-denial.  Hey, if I’m never going to be thin anyway, I should at least be able to eat what I want.

For me, removing the punishing, guilt-inducing aspect of weight loss, also removes the motivation for quitting.  If I’m eating and exercising in ways I find easy and enjoyable, why would I ever even think of quitting.

That philosophy has helped me lose 110 lbs, over the course of several years.  Then I stopped working to make the process fun.  I started adding in guilt and unrealistic expectations, and when health issues and other stresses came up, my motivation fizzled.

Over the course of only a couple months, I backslid a whopping 29 lbs.

Egh, life happens.  Feeling sad, angry or guilty isn’t going to erase those 29 lbs.  In fact, in my experience, the feelings will only contribute to further regain.

I still believe that low-pressure weight loss works best for me, but it’s time to recommit to assigning a higher priority to my health.

I deserve this.

Comfort foods for pain relief

Friday, June 21st, 2013

I have fibromyalia, osteoarthritis, and autoimmune arthritis, and today I’m having a severe pain flare.  All I want to do is eat, both to distract myself and to treat the pain.  Comfort foods are generally quite effective pain-relievers as they tend to be serotonin-boosting carbohydrates.

Knowing this makes me crave such food even more, but I also know that such high carb comfort foods (at least in my case) only worsen the situation in the long run.

The pain is severe enough that I’m taking my maximum allowed pain meds and between the pain and the side effects of the medications, I’m feeling a bit queasy.  I’ve been using the nausea as rationale for eating as little as possible (while the little voice in the back of my mind keeps whispering “carbs will settle your stomach” ).

So far, I’m resisting.

I do wonder whether the pain-relief and mood-boosting aspects of carbohydrates explains food addiction.  Is food addiction an actual type of drug addiction.

Cocaine addicted rats will often choose sugar over cocaine (I believe I read this in David Kessler’s book, The End of Overeating – awesome book, by the way).

Seeing food as a drug-equivalent does help me view my food plan (a reduced-carb exchange plan) as a “dosing schedule.”

To me, it also explains why intuitive eating practices have never worked for me.  My intuition and instincts, through cravings, hunger, and appetite; are telling me that I need these foods to relieve my pain and fatigue.  Rationally I know that food pain-relievers are a poor choice, but if I eat intuitively, my intuition will always call out to the foods that provide the best short-term solution.  Which is the salt/sugar/fat combination Kessler talks about in his book.

Blueberry dark chocolate smoothie

Monday, June 17th, 2013

In a blender, food processor, or mini/personal blender (I used a Rocket personal blender), blend until smooth (you’ll hear the chocolate stop clunking)

140g (3/4 cup) frozen bluberries

1 cup milk or milk substitute ( I used Coconut Dream, 45 calories per cup)

30g (1 scoop, about an ounce) unflavored or vanilla whey protein powder – I prefer undenatured, unflavored whey, Because it dissolves well, even in water.

1 square Dove dark chocolate (it will blend more easily if you chop it into four or more pieces – or you could use a tbs of chocolate chips)

270 calories, 2 protein, 1 fruit, 1 dairy (if the milk you use contains less than 20% daily calcium, count as 2 fats instead of   a dairy)

I’m back

Sunday, June 16th, 2013

It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted, and not coincidentally a long time since I’ve lost any more weight.  I’ve even backslid and regained about 20 to 25 lbs.  Which for me, is actually quite a small regain.  Which for me is actually quite a minor setback, considering my “normal” regains of the past were to regain more than I lost before getting back on track.

I regret that I allowed myself to become distracted, but I have to avoid wallowing in guilt, because when I do, I start to feel helpleds and hopeless, and when I take hope away from myself, I eat for comfort (if the situation is hopeless, if I believe success is not a path open to me, food is my consolation prize, a booby prize (quite literally since my bustline is the first place I lose and gain weight).

I stopped blogging, because I wasn’t sure if my writings were of interest or value to anyone, but myself.  I didn’t realize that it doesn’t really matter.  They’re useful to me, and if they’re of use to no one else, they’re still useful to me.

I haven’t yet decided how I’m going to use this blog.  What I’m going to write, or how often, but I owe it to myself, if no one else, to find out.