Starting Over, Take 1,847

David Kessler’s book “The End of Overeating,” really opened my eyes. Although I already (thought that I) understood carb addiction, I didn’t realize that my attempts at moderation with trigger foods were much like trying to use heroine, crack, and crystal meth “in moderation.” If even lab rats got hooked on these foods, how can I break the addiction?

I’m trying to eliminate all of the foods that trigger overeating, but I’m having mixed success. I’m a former probration officer, and if bingeing on trigger foods were illegal and there was “food probation” my probation would be revoked (or at least I’d be mandated into treatment).

We don’t look at food issues as addictions, though. While there are treatments available for a lot eating disorders, overeating is not one of them (well, there is treatment available, but it tends to be more expensive than other eating disorder treatments, and it’s generally not covered by medical insurance).

If you stop eating, you’re ill with anorexia, but if you can’t stop eating you’re just a lazy glutton (or if you’re thin, you’re lucky, unless you barf it up then you’re ill with bulimia).

I’m not whining that there isn’t help out there for overeaters, there is and a lot of it’s even free, it’s just buried in so much misinformation it’s hard to find.

Confusing the issue even more, is the fact that not all overeaters are overweight, and not all overweight and obese are chronic or compulsive overeaters.

I’m learning that even some foods people assume to be healthy foods, are nonetheless triggers for me, and it’s so hard to look at these foods as drugs when our culture does not. Even when I know these foods are as emotionally and physically dangerous to me as street drugs would be to a drug addict, I’m still thinking it won’t be Christmas unless I have a few pieces of my mother’s homemade caramels, even though last year I had a “sugar bender” like I hadn’t had in decades after a few pieces of those caramels. In less than 7 days, I had eaten more sugar than I probably had eaten in the entire previous year (I didn’t gain much weight, because I did get right back on track, but I felt like I was hit by a bus, and the taste of those caramels was not worth walking out in front of a bus on purpose, so what the heck did I think I was doing?)

Maybe there will be a day I can do trigger foods in moderation, but I rather doubt it (especially after reading David Kessler’s book). I just don’t know if I’ll ever acheive true and complete abstinence with so many people, including close family and friends and even the television pressuring me to have at least “just one bite” all of the time.