I’ve always loved New Years Days and brand new blank journals. Nothing beats the feeling of renewing and making new commitments.
I used to see it as starting over (hence the name of my blog), but I realize that starting over implies that nothing done before counts – “back to square one,” so to speak. I’ve learned a lot, in all of my weight loss efforts (since age 5) and I’ve learned a tremendous amount in that time, and yet I always felt that any mistep or stumble translated in the need to start over.
Starting over isn’t necessary, and it isn’t even really possible. We can’t undo mistakes, we can sometimes correct them, and we can always learn from them.
Still, I like starting fresh. I love the blank page of a new journal and the new promise of a new year. I won’t be perfect this year, because I’m human I will make mistakes. I will not let imperfection defeat me or diminish my commitment.
I have a lot I want to accomplish this year, and the enthusiasm I feal is wonderful, but I have to learn patience and pacing. I can’t do it all, and I can’t do it perfectly from day 1. That isn’t going to happen.
Yesterday was the first day of 2009, and I did fairly well. I follow an exchange plan, and I exceeded my fat exchanges by three. It seemed like a significant goof, until I thought about it. Three fat exchanges, about 120 calories or 34/100 of a lb (half an ounce of body fat).
So, because of that slip, I will lose half an ounce less this week, than I would have if I had not eaten those three extra teaspoons of fat. Hey, I can live with that.
Now, if I do that every day, that could mean, at the end of the year, an extra 11 lbs that I could have lost.
I’m not going to beat myself up, either way. I’m not going to worry about what I “could have lost” if I had not made any mistakes. Instead I will thrive to do the best that I can do reasonably comfortably – and be satisfied with that. I say comfortably, because when I push myself to do everything I physically am able to, it usually means that I’m sacrificing something else important to do so. I say reasonably, because the most comfortable change is no change. Change always requires stepping a bit outside the comfort zone.
I am so optimistic and enthusiastic right now, that I wish I could bottle this feeling and spray some on me every day. Instead, writing it here, at least I can read it whenever I need to and maybe recapture some of it’s essence.