Sigh.

Another night gone. Another morning. Another day.

Yesterday was unproductive and depressing. I watched TV, I played online, I read. I was asleep by 10:30pm. Oh, I ate most of the day too. I’m sure my calories were outrageous.

This morning I got up at 9:45am. Last night I had a small twinge of hope that today would be better but it hasn’t turned out that way so far. The weather doesn’t match my mood. It’s beautiful out. I wish it would rain.

I made a Slim Fast shake for breakfast. I used the vanilla mix with milk, ice and half of a banana. Yum. Lunch will be deli chicken w/ mustard on wheat. Snack is a fiber one bar and lunch will be something equally healthy. I’m not sure what. I may pick up some lettuce and grilled chicken for a salad. That’s if I leave my house today. Heh.

I hate this feeling. I feel like all good things are happening to people around me and they’re all happy. Is it the lack of job and purpose making me feel this way? Tomorrow I have the meeting at 10am and truth be told.. I am terrified to drive there. It’s the longest I’ve ever had to drive before. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I really don’t.

I don’t feel like writing anymore.

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 26th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 3 Comments »

Meh.

This is how I feel today. Just, meh.

The baby shower went great. We had a lovely time. I took over a hundred pictures and posted some of them on Facebook. I can’t wait to go back there on the fourth of July. Drew will be coming that time so I’m hoping the weather is beautiful.

Yesterday I didn’t do much through out the day. Truth be told, I was slightly hung over from the baby shower so I had a slow start to the morning. At about 4:30pm, Ashley picked me up and I ran some errands with her. At 10pm we all went to Applebee’s for half priced appetizers and twofers. Woo! I ate too much and I drank too much. Yeah.. It was fun though. It was good hanging out with everyone. I came home, called Drew, read a bit and went to sleep.

Up this morning at 10am. Breakfast has been had (cereal) and coffee is also being had. I don’t have much planned today at all. I should get out and enjoy the day. I’m looking out my window at bright blue skies. I don’t have much will to want to leave my house today, though.

Mutual of Omaha called me back. On Thursday I have an appointment at 10am. I think it’s going to be a group interview kind of thing. They’re going to discuss what the company is about and what the position I would be applying for entails. We’ll see. I’m not worried about the interview. I’m worried about the drive there. It’s in Hauppauge. It’s a few towns over from me. About a 25 minute drive on the highway and 35 minutes on the one road that I’m decently comfortable in. I don’t know how I am going to do this. Maybe I will recruit one of my friends tomorrow afternoon to take a quick drive with me just so I know where it is. I don’t know.

In the beginning I felt so sure of myself and really excited about new beginnings. Now, interviewing has become this daunting task that almost always ends with no response. I’m starting to think I should have just taken that Home Depot job. I really should have. At least I’d have a paycheck. I’d never get to see Drew but I’d have some form of income. My bills are paid off up until July and I’ve still got 1,200 in my savings account along with 300 in my checking account. The problem is all of the events I have coming up. This Sunday is Jersey Boys in the city. We’re going out for brunch so I’ll have to lay down some money for that. Monday is the Memorial Day cookout at Drew’s and I have to contribute some cash for some things. The big expense of the month is going to come on June 4th. We’re going to Foxwoods. This was pre-planned. I’ll be there from the 4th to the 6th. Somehow, I need to plan my money and distribute it properly. If I don’t, I run a serious risk on dropping some serious cash in those three days. We’re filling our days up with bingo, museums and dinner so as long as I stay away from those slots, I should be okay. I need to take out a certain amount of money for Foxwoods and ask someone else to hold my card. I just can’t afford it right now.

Anyway.. I guess that’s all for today. I should go plan out my expenses for the next few weeks.

Have a good day, all.

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 25th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 1 Comment »

Baby shower day!

I need to get excited about the baby shower. I just feel so tired. :(

Yesterday was a full and good today. I went to bingo with my mom and aunt in the morning. I came home, had a bite to eat and spent the rest of the afternoon at the vets office with mom and dad. They groom dogs as a part time job so I finally (after three years) went with them. It was pretty cool. So many cute and little puppies. Charlie came along and he was just a doll. We came home, made some burgers and then got to wrapping and cooking. Mom made cream puffs. Yum! While she made those I went through the daunting task of wrapping the gifts. Patti and I had to go to Target at 9PM because we needed cello wrap. We decided to make a basket presentation with a few odds and ends that she had gotten. It all came out very cute and I’m proud of my wrapping job :) After the wrapping was done I had three loads of wash laying on my bed that I neglected to fold right away. Bed came some where around 2am. Yikes.

I was up this morning at 9:15am. Haven’t done much yet. Actually.. I should get going now. Mom wants me to make her some scrambled eggs lol.. Enjoy the day girls :)

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 23rd, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 1 Comment »

Oh Em Gee!

I had a wonderful non-official weigh in this morning. Today’s number is… 150.0!!!!! Oh Em Gee! I am so excited by this number. This means that in another .5lbs I will see a 4 as my second digit. I can’t express the level of happiness that this brings me. In another four pounds I will have seen my official lowest weight from 2008 again. In another seven pounds I’ll see my non-official weight of 143. That’s the lowest I’ve ever seen on the scale but at that time I wasn’t eating much so I don’t count it as being real. The second I ate, my weight went back up so, yeah. I was *hoping* to see at least 150.5 and it gave me .5 lower. Awesome. Just awesome. That’s what happens when you eat well and you exercise hard. I’ve been eating perfectly on track all week and then during the weekend I splurge. Last weekend I drank, ate french fries and had ice cream twice. It wasn’t nonfat. It wasn’t sugar free. It was full fat and delicious. And, guess what? I didn’t gain weight. When I got home, I got right back on track and all was fine. One day will *not* undo all the good. It *is* possible to live a normal life and enjoy the foods *you* want to eat and still lose weight. It took me six years to learn this but!.. Better late than never lol :D

Yesterday was shitty. I was depressed and lazy all day long. I watched tv, browsed the internet and read. I called Mutual of Omaha and they never got back to me. Am I going to have to start being a persistent bitch with these companies because I’ll do what I have to do =P At about 3pm I threw on my gym clothes and went outside. What a gorgeous day. It’s a shame that I’d waste the entire day moping. I went to the gym and banged out 4.10 miles. Yeah! I was in a groove. I felt fierce and strong. When I doubted that I could run anymore I jacked up the treadmill a few more notches. The sweat was intense and literally flying off of my body. I came home, took a shower, fixed dinner for mom and myself and watched some TV with her. She just had five teeth pulled so I made Tilapia w/ broccoli and tomato. She liked it and appreciated the meal.

I was up at 7:15am. Much like all the other days, I don’t have much planned today. I’ve got a few loads of laundry that should get done. The gym will most definitely happen (can’t stop now) and I’d like to finish my book. It’s supposed to be a nice day so I was considering heading over to Starbucks with a packed lunch. I could sit outside on the benches or something. Just so I can get outside for a bit. Enjoy the fresh air. I’ve got to stop spending my days being a depressed and whiny brat. Things will be okay. *I* will be okay :D

Enjoy the day, ladies!

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 21st, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 3 Comments »

Good morning! :D

I woke up to bright blue skies, birds chirping and lots of sunshine. Today will be a good day!

Yesterday was a “meh” kind of day. It took me all day to roll out of bed and get to the gym. Literally. I didn’t go work out until 3 PM. My work out was good. I did 3.25 miles and had a pretty awesome sweat. I feel like after I run the first mile I sweat so much more for the remainder of the work out. After my work out Shannon met up with me and we caught up on things since I haven’t seen her in about a week and a half. Her new job at CVS is treating her well, so that’s good. We went food shopping together and parted ways. I came home, chatted with Ashley on the phone a bit and then fixed dinner. Tacos! Yum! I had two but should have stopped at one. I’ve got left overs and am planning on making a salad with it. With the left over turkey meat I plan on making a couple small burgers. I need to learn to make a meal and then use the rest of the ingredients for other meals. That way I get more for my money and I’m not over buying. It’s hard to cook for one person. Ghost Whisperer was on all evening so I settled myself in bed and read my book during commercials. Nice night :)

Today I have to call Mutual of Omaha. They responded to the resume I submitted on Career Builder. I, honestly, never heard of them and I told Drew about it. Apparently they’ve been around since 1909 so they are a legit company. If I can get myself in the door for insurance or something along those lines, that would just be awesome. I’ve also got another e-mail for real estate. The problem with Career Builder is you have to sift through the shady or scam companies. If I don’t recognize a company, I “google” their business. Most of the time the links I get are filled with words like “distrust” and “scam”. The second I see that I say “No thank you!”. It’s mostly from former employees too and it’s not just one employee. It’s from multiple that spill their guts on the problems of that certain company. So, I’m being smart about it.

My other plan for the day is, of course, the gym. I’d *love* to make it to the gym the rest of this week and all of next week. I don’t over do myself when I go. A simple 45 minute work out every day will not wear me out. Let’s see if I can do it. I bet I could drop some serious weight if I really dedicate myself to running every single day. No more laziness! I don’t like who I am when I am lazy. So, you ladies heard it here first! I vow to get to the gym every day from now until the 30th. That’s ten days with ten work outs. W00T!

Alright. I guess I should end this entry now. Coffee cup is almost empty and a new pot needs to be brewed. I can’t read and comment with a fresh cup in hand :) Love you, girls.

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 20th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 3 Comments »

Weigh-in Wednesday

Today’s number is 151.0. Good number! I like it. I don’t know where it came from as I haven’t exercised all weekend but I like it! If I stick to healthy eating and exercising for the next two weeks I could be seeing that 149 that I want so badly. I will, also, begin to fit comfortably in my size 11 jeans from Pacsun that became to tight. I wore a couple of weeks ago but had a cute baby doll shirt over it. If I wear a tighter shirt I am sure there will be some muffin top happening. Yucky =P

Yesterday was an okay day. I read. I watched some of New Moon and then shut it off to take a nap. I guess I needed it because I ended up sleeping for about three hours. After my nap I made some dinner, updated my resume and created a profile on Career Builder. I was in bed and asleep a little before 1am. However, I woke up at 2:40am and felt like I hadn’t slept at all. It was weird.

I was up this morning around 7:45am. I’ve already emptied and loaded the dishwasher. We’re out of coffee here =/ There was one cup left in the pot from my parents this morning. I’m drinking that now but then we’re all out. Blah!

So, my plan today is pretty simple. I definitely want to get to the gym for a good hour or more. I’d like to bang out four miles on the treadmill and then get on the elliptical for about 20 - 30 minutes. We’ll see how I feel. I should come home and continue my work out with Denise Austin DVDs. It’s not like I don’t have the time, that’s for sure! I wrote up a food list and plan to get to the store today. I’m out of almost everything. Yesterday I ate white bread because I’m tapped out of wheat. Ew. There are a couple loads of wash to get in and I need to continue applying for jobs. Speaking of which..

I have not heard back from Weight Watchers. I called Nancy back on Friday and explained that I hadn’t heard from her manager and to give me a call back. Nothing. Dad asked me what was going on with the jobs. I think he thinks so highly of me and imagines me getting any position I go for. It’s not that easy though. All I can do is get myself out there and do my best. If my best isn’t good enough then I shall just keep on trying.

Welp. That’s all for today.

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 19th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 5 Comments »

Home. Rain. Bored. Blah.

Hey everyone. I just got home from Connecticut about an hour ago.

I had a wonderful weekend. I went out to dinner with the girls and saw Letters To Juliet. I loved it. I, of course, cried because it was that type of movie. We went to Pirate’s Cove where the Bounty Pirate Ship docked. We took lots of pictures and enjoyed some good time in the bright sunshine. A few friends are pirate reenactors so they were running around and doing that. Pretty cool. Yesterday was a lazy day. We got up at a reasonable hour but it was very slow going. We stopped at a few stores. I had to get a new set of head phones as mine went kaput. All of the traveling really wears them out. I also bought a few new books. So, overall, it was a pretty fabulous weekend. I got four nights with my baby and I’m sure as hell going to miss him. I won’t be seeing him for the next twelve days :(

Food wasn’t great. Same old, same old. Drank a bit. I ate a lot of beef actually. We had tacos last night. Drew’s father made a roast the night before. I’ll spend the next couple of weeks eating clean and healthy. Starting with dinner because lunch was a grilled cheese (white bread & butter) and potato chips (not even baked)! Whoops! I’ve got to go food shopping, that’s for sure. I’ll make up a list today. Check out the sales at my local grocery store and head out tonight or tomorrow. Yay.

Exercise wasn’t great either. We didn’t do much moving around. I plan on getting to the gym for the rest of the week though. I’ll go in the morning so it’s out of the way. Wednesday through Sunday. No excuses.

This weekend should be fun. Saturday I’ll probably play some poker with the family. On Sunday we’re going out to the Hamptons for a baby shower. I’m excited about it. I hope the weather is nice. They leave very close to the water so I could spend some time out in the sunshine :)

Well. I guess that’s all for today. I don’t have much planned. I’m going to read a bit, watch New Moon and maybe take a nap. I don’t know.

Hope you girls are doing well.

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 18th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | Comment now »

Post #200!

I logged on this morning and happened to notice that this is my 200th post. Wee!

I woke up at 7am this morning. I probably could have slept longer but I was too excited to get my day started. My laundry is already in, coffee is being had and my gym clothes are sitting next to me and waiting patiently to be worn. Good gym clothes! *pat* *pat*.. Oh boy, I think I’m losing it.. =P

Yesterday turned out to be a very good diet day for me. I ate healthy and mindfully all day long. I even went to sleep with minor hunger pains. It’s a much better feeling than a stuffed chicken, that’s for sure!

My work out was phenomenal! Just, awesome! The sweat was pouring down and flying off onto the treadmill. Gross, yeah, but oh so awesome. Also, I ran my first mile in 11 minutes and 30 seconds. How cool is that? I think my best is somewhere in the 12 minute area. The last two miles weren’t that great but as a whole three mile work out I shaved off like.. three minutes or so. I think it was 39 minutes exactly so.. two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Woo!

Weight this morning is at 152.5. Good! At this point I just want to see 149. Like, really, really bad. I, honestly, can’t even remember the last time I was in the 140’s. It had to have been back in 2008. That was when my girlfriend, of four years, and I split. I started going out to bars and getting the attention from guys. Ugh. Not the proudest moments of my life but everything we’ve done in our past has shaped us to become who we are today and I wouldn’t change anything. It is how it’s supposed to be. I work in complete reverse though. When I’m single I gain weight and when I’m in a relationship I lose weight.. *shrug* :)

SO! Plan today is laundry, gym, packing, lunch and then CT. My train is at 1:49pm. *Gasp*! I just realized my train is at 1:49… Hah. I’m on the 149 train! Woo woo! Okay, no more coffee for me =/

Enjoy the day, girls :)

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 14th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 2 Comments »

Good morning all!

Today is Thursday and I am done being Ms. Cranky Pants!

I’ve spent the past three days held up in my room and basically refusing to leave. Not today. Nope. Today I’m going to get out of the house.

Yesterday I have a valid excuse for not leaving. I was handicapped with the *worst* headache that I’ve had in a long time. It had to have been a minor migraine headache. I took four aspirins through out the day that did *nothing*. Finally, mom got home around 7pm and I asked if she had anything. She handed me Excedrin and about 30 minutes later the headache was gone. I felt too sick all day to go to the gym.. BUT!..

At 9pm I got up and put in my buns and thighs DVD from Denise Austin. It was great! I actually started sweating a bit too. I plan on the gym this morning and then it’s home for another DVD work out. I may even go in the evening after dinner. Or I could just go take a walk around the block or something. I haven’t really decided yet.

It’s Thursday and I still haven’t heard from Weight Watchers. I will call them today and kindly ask if the manager has had a change to look over my applicant information. If it’s a no go than I guess it’s back to the drawing board. I still have a call from Lowe’s that I haven’t answered. Maybe I’ll call them back and find out what they’re offering me. *Shrug*.. Just because I get a job doesn’t mean I have to stop looking for that office job I had wanted. The sky is my limit and I am remaining hopeful for my future.

Last night was strange. I got on the phone with Drew and we had a small little tiff. It was weird. Stupid, really. He said something that made me feel like he was condescending me and I *hate* it when people do that. Especially when he does it because he does it often. We kind of hung up on a bad note. Oh well. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Oh. So, I don’t know if this is TMI but last night I realized I was out of maxi pads and the one I was wearing… served it’s purpose. I had nothing left but tampons. I’ve never worn one before. I bought them as a precaution last summer when I was going tubing and I’d think I need them. I ended up not needing them because TOM ended right before. Anyway, so.. I had no choice but to wear one and it’s actually pretty good. It was a whole new thing for me. I don’t know if I’m going to be an avid tampon user but for working out and doing physical things.. it’s actually pretty awesome! A lot of the times with a pad, I’ll sweat so much and it’ll rub the crease where my leg begins causing a rash. Twenty-five years old and her first tampon… Aren’t you so proud?? =P

Last night I put together the most adorable outfit for Memorial Day. I’m very excited about it. I will most definitely take pictures of the outfit. The jeans that I have chosen to wear are the jeans that I haven’t been able to fit in to since last year. They are still a *little* tight but the shirt is baby doll so you can’t really tell. My goal for the next two weeks is to work out as much as I can to make those jeans fit me perfectly. I know it can be done. I’ve just got to stick to my plan! :D

SO! The gym will be this morning and tomorrow morning. I don’t know if I’ll get there in the evening but like I said, I’ll most likely take a walk or something. I will also be doing my Denise Austin DVDs. If the weather is nice on Sunday I will ask Drew if he wants to go for a morning run or something. On Monday we may be going Hiking with Dave and Shannon so.. I’m looking forward to an active and fun filled weekend! :)

I’ve been getting a lot of reading in. I’m pretty sure I’m going to finish The Time Travelers Wife today. It’s been a good book so far. I sort of did it in reverse though because I saw the movie first. Oops. Now I can’t get the actor’s faces out of my head. Oh well. Good book though. I’m excited to pick up and start another book :D

Well! I guess that’s all from me. I’m off to throw my gym clothes on, eat a little something for breakfast and head out the door for my work out. Love to all on this fabulous Thursday morning!

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 13th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 4 Comments »

Please, headache go away :(

I’ve had a headache since 6am. I woke up, took pain reliever and went back to sleep. It went away for a little while but continued to escalate. I sit here with it still nagging at my temples. Ugh! It’s got to be allergies as I can’t stop sneezing.

So.. Yesterday sucked. I was depressed. And lazy. And all I wanted to do was eat. I took a nap. Played online. Read my book. Watched TV. Yeah.

Shannon and Nicole went shopping. I didn’t even want to do that. Nicole sent me a text saying that Shannon was buying a size 14 in jeans. I remember the first time I got myself into a size 14. I was at Old Navy. Ashley took a picture of it. For some reason, I got extremely jealous of her. She’s on this major high right now and I’m very proud of her but.. I just wish I could gain that motivation back. I wish I could be on some sort of high. I hope once TOM goes away I will feel better. Sigh.

Today’s plan? I was supposed to go to the gym this morning but because I’ve taken on this headache I haven’t done much of anything. In fact, I only woke up about an hour and a half ago. However, just because I’m not out of the house before noon doesn’t mean the day is over. I still plan on working out today. I also need to stop at the drug store as I’m completely out of pads and I need nail glue. Laundry needs to get done.

I’m considering heading out to CT tomorrow. Next weekend, Drew and I will have to skip seeing one another. He is going paint balling with friends and I’ve got a baby shower to go to. It’s going to be hard not seeing him for two weeks, especially when I’m unemployed and I don’t have much to do.

For this first couple weeks of unemployment I felt pretty good. I was applying and I was getting interviews but the whole process is really wearing on me. The whole process of wanting a job so bad, interviewing for it and then not getting it absolutely sucks. I am still hoping that WW calls me. No matter what, I will not settle. I will not settle for anything but the best because I am a hard worker and I know I am worth it. I could bring something great to a company if only they’d give me a shot.

Well, I guess that’s all for today. Oh, Today was supposed to be weigh in day but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m sure it’s way up there. The food, the drink, TOM.. It’s all going to make it go up so.. yeah.. =/

Enjoy the day, girls.

- Nikki

Posted by JustCallMeCow on May 12th, 2010 under Everyday Ramblings | 1 Comment »

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