I haven’t written in April yet. Wow. I just keep putting it off.

Work is the same old BS day in and day out. With each passing day I grow more and more sick of that place. I can’t wait to get out of there.

Um, weight isn’t that great. I mean, I’m maintaining where I’m at for now which is at about 162. It hurts to type that when I was maintaining at 147. I was happy at that weight. I want to see that number again. Eating is okay. I still make healthy decisions.. if not for the sake of eating healthy then it’s out of pure habit. I automatically eat turkey burgers, whole grains and eggs w/o the yolk in it because I’m just so used to it.

I’m having a very hard time making it to the gym. I don’t think it’s because I lack of energy. I just don’t want to go. It’s weird. Part of me thinks it’s because I’m embarassed that I haven’t been there in so long and not only that but I’ve gained weight. Another part of me doesn’t want to be stuffed up in a damn gym for an hour every evening. Excuses, excuses. Just go, Nikki. You’re being ridiculous. When you compare an hour to a 24 hour day it’s hardly a dent in the day. An hour. That’s all I’m asking of myself. An hour to sweat and better myself. Not that difficult.

Drinking has seriously taken a back seat in my life. For a really long time there, it was a very important part of my life. I was drinking mid-week when I had work the next morning.  Every single weekend. Sometimes I would find myself getting completely wasted every night during the weekend starting on Thursday. That’s where all my weight gain came from. I don’t eat badly but the drinking absolutely killed me. Not to mention the bad food that goes along with the drinking. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy a glass of wine or a guinness or two but I haven’t been wasted to the point of incoherent in almost two weeks. Yay.

The last entry I wrote about I had mentioned that guy that I had met online and ended up hanging out with. Since that first night we’ve hung out a few more times. We usually hang out mid-week and then on the weekends. It’s been great. He’s really awesome and I like spending time with him. Last weekend was by far the craziest. He was picking me up to go to the cheesecake factory. To make a long story short, we somehow ended up skipping dinner and going to Mohegan Sun in CT. We got there at midnight. The rooms were all booked so we ended up staying at this cute little place down the road. We gambled for a while, went to 7/11 at like.. 4am because we forgot to eat and went to sleep around 5:30am. The next morning was a beautiful day. We didn’t want to go home so we ended up going to Foxwoods that day. We had lunch, got some good icecream and gambled more. I was just watching him play craps because I don’t know how to play. There were a bunch of high rollers at the end of the table and they tossed me a five dollar chip to place a bet for myself because they wanted me to roll the dice. Haha. It was crazy. So of course I got a hundred bucks worth of chips after that to actually play. I’m still not clear on the lingo but I’ll catch on soon enough. The drive to and from is a good 2 1/2 hours so we had plenty of talking time. It was pretty crazy. One week after initially meeting and we’re on this little trip together. It was fun. We went to his house, he made dinner and we watched Troy. I kept falling asleep because I was absolutely exhausted. Got home at about 2am Monday morning. Crazy. We actually hung out last night too. We went out to dinner at this really cute cafeteria style cafe. Conversation and food were both great. We went back to his place and watched Slumdog Millionaire. We were holding hands practically the whole movie. It was just.. nice. He was like “I’m so glad that you’re so comfortable here..” I, of course, stayed over his house and slept great. He had work this morning so we woke up, he got ready for work, we got breakfast at Dunkin Donuts and then he took me home. It’s so different from what I am used to. With all the other guys we would hang out like.. once a week, if that! I’m sure you ladies remember when I kept complaining about how Brandon and I rarely spent any time together and now Ron and I are hanging out about three times a week. I like that he’s spontaneous and he’s up for anything. He’s, by far, the most normal guy that I’ve been involved with these past six months. I like that he doesn’t text me/call me constantly. I have my space which is, again, different but really nice. I find that I’m reaching out to him more now. Instead of waiting for him to call or text I reach out and ask if he wants to hang out. It’s a nice change. I just have to be careful to not get in over my head. When he dropped me off this morning I couldn’t wait to hang out with him again. Ridiculous, I know. I talked to Ashley and she said I just need to relax about it. We’re hanging out right now. We, obviously, both enjoy each others company so I just need to let it go where it goes. No commitments, no obligations. Just have fun and get to know one another. Wow, I wrote a lot about him just now. Geez.

In other news I’m registered to do the MS walk and the AIDS walk both in NYC. Next weekend is the MS walk and I think May is the AIDS walk. I’m excited. It should be fun. It’s a good cause, a great way to meet people and exercise without even realizing it =)

Today I printed out an application for Nassau Community College. I want to go back. If not in the fall then definitely in the spring. I need to print out a FAFSA form because I need financial aid without a doubt. I’m also keeping my eye out for health insurance. I haven’t been to a doctor in so long and it’s something that desperately needs to happen. I’ve got to get myself checked out. I’m confused as to where to look for health coverage though so if anyone out there has any ideas, I could use the input.

Hmm. What else has been going on. I think that’s pretty much it. I’ve been considering getting an IPOD. I was going to get the IPOD Touch but it’s like.. a hundred and fifty bucks more then the IPOD Video and it holds 23,000 LESS songs. It can go on the internet but I already have internet on my cell phone. Instead of buying it on a whim I think I’ll save up for it. Maybe instead of saving up for it money wise I could use gym time as an incentive. When I reach a certain amount of minutes at the gym I’ll get it for myself as a reward. I don’t know. I’m willing to try anything that will get my weight back on track. I’m not happy like this. The tube around my waist is coming back. I’ve got like.. four pairs of jeans that I can’t wear right now because I’ve got severe muffin top and I had to loosen my belt. Instead of being on the third hole I’m back at the first. Sigh.

One thing I’m taking away from knowing Ron is he’s a vegetarian. No meat at all which I thought was interesting. I’ve actually eaten tofu which is something that I never would have done. If cooked properly it’s actually really tasty. I like it. It’s definitely a good way to kind of.. expand myself. Taste wise.. not size wise lol.. bad joke, I know =P

Alright, I guess that’s all. I guess this is what happens when I don’t write for a solid week and a half. Haha. Lots to talk about. Until next time.

- Nikki