I WILL do this!

3 - 100 Calorie Snacks

1)  9:30 AM - Yoplait Delights Berries & Cream Yogurt (100)

2)  SKIPPED

3)  SKIPPED

2 - 200 Calorie SlimFast Shakes

1)  7:30 AM - Rich Chocolate Royale Shake (200)

2)  1:30 PM - Chef Salad with Fat Free Italian (300)

I was in the mood for real food for lunch, so my coworker and I picked up salads from a local made-to-order place.  I had no chance to FitDay my food all day, and I wasn’t hungry, so I skipped my two afternoon snacks.

1 - 500 Calorie Sensible Meal

1)  5:30 PM - Two Turkey/Cheddar Sausages, 1 cup Parmesan Noodles, 1/2 cup peas (600)

BAD NEWS:  My sodium is off the charts today:  5246 mg.  YIKES!

Filed under: Food Log on January 26th, 2010 | No Comments »

15 Minute WATP

Filed under: Workout Log on January 26th, 2010 | No Comments »

189.8 again today.  It’s so good to know that yesterday was not a fluke.  I dread the mysterious weight that’s down like three lbs on day - and then you’re up 2.8 the very next day.  I’ve lost 11 pounds in four weeks.  That’s pretty darn good if I do say so myself.  44 sticks of butter:  got to pat myself on the back for that.

Today was an interesting day.  I forgot to pick up a paper yesterday.  I always get the Sunday paper for the grocery store sale bill and for the coupons.  MIL suggested I try to get one this morning - that they might have one leftover.  Sure enough - they did.  And who was on the cover?  The hubby of my estranged BFF.  He had been at a funeral of a local Marine who died in Afghanistan and it was a picture of him and several other Marines I know carrying the casket.  I couldnt quit thinking about my BFF.  This is what bonded her and I.  We shared the day in, day out life of never knowing if we were going to get a knock on our own doors that something terrible had happened.  I thought about her  the whole way to work and when I got there, I immediately e-mailed her and apologized for everything that had happened between her and I.  We both immediately forgave one another and realized how foolish we’d both been.  It feels good to know I did something good today.  I missed having her in my life, and it feels good to have her back there again.  We’re bonded forever and I think we’ll stick together no matter what after all we’ve been through together.

Then the dip on the emotional rollercoaster of the day comes:  Hubby and I bickered all night - again - couple that with PMS, and it just set off my depression.  I feel like all we ever do is bicker - and I feel like he hates me most of the time.  This is not just a PMS issue - we just discussed this not even a week ago.  There’s no genuine love or affection anymore.  We spend our days together going through the motions while we grow more and more apart.  We hardly ever kiss or hug one another with meaning - we sleep in the same bed, but with different covers and without touching one another in any way but the “stop snoring” shove.  I try to talk to him and he says he feels the same:  like I hate him. 

I dont know how to fix this.  He’s so consumed with his own PTSD and our son that I feel like there’s no room left for me.  I’m not jealous of his relationship with our son or anything, it’s just that there’s NOTHING left for me.  With no ties to my own family anymore, I often feel alone in this world.  I feel like I have to be everything to everyone, but I’m nothing to anyone.  Mom has to make sure the lunches are packed, the bills are paid, the laundry is done, and the baby and Hubby are happy, but who’s looking out for Mommy? 

He says he does try to show me affection but I pull away.  Have you ever been with someone who tells they love you so often and touches you so often it no longer feels genuine?  It’s like it’s a reflex for him and not something he really means.  I know it may sound strange to you, but it just never seems sincere.  It also feels like he physically loves me the way a man would love his mother.  I need him to be the big strong man in my life; he says I need to quit emasculating him.  How do you not emasculate someone who can’t do anything for himself??  If something happened to me, I fear the outcome for him and my son.  Maybe it’s my own fault for marrying a spoiled Mama’s boy.

I’m sorry, I’m rambling.   I’m just so frustrated.  So emotionally unfulfilled.  So unhappy.

At least I’m not eating my way to happiness.  I’m finding comfort in not eating.  I guess hunger is another thing like pain that lets us know we’re alive.  I wouldnt say my hunger is overwhelming or anything, so for now, I like it being there.

Food was fine today.  I posted my log in the entry below.

No exercise.  We had just started to do the exercise DVD, and I mentioned I wanted to do pilates too.  Hubby had a meltdown because, heaven forbid, he might have to watch our son for 15 freaking minutes while I exercise.  I just threw my hands up and walked away, and here we are.

I will try again tomorrow.  Tomorrow will be better.  I’m off to Google bi-polar disorder…

Filed under: Daily Progress on January 25th, 2010 | No Comments »

3 - 100 Calorie Snacks

1)  9:30 AM - Activia Light Yogurt (70), 8 Baby Carrots (30)

2)  1:30 PM - Peach Cup (70), 1/4 oz Southwestern Ranch Baked Lays (30)

3)  3:30 PM - Land O Lakes Kojack Cheese Snack (80), 1 Triscuit (20)

2 - 200 Calorie SlimFast Shakes

1)  7:30 AM - Rich Chocolate Royale Shake (200)

2)  11:30 AM - Rich Chocolate Royale Shake (200)

1 - 500 Calorie Sensible Meal

1)  5:30 PM - Homemade Smokey Mexican Chicken Bake w/Mexi-Ranch Dressing

Filed under: Food Log on January 25th, 2010 | No Comments »

I came up with this today, and it was AWESOME.  It was time consuming though, so I don’t know if I’d class it a “Dinner Solution.”

Step 1:  Generously sprinkle bone-in chicken breast with cumin, chili powder, and onion salt.  Bake and then remove from bone, discarding skin.

Step 2:  Cook 1 cup brown rice in chicken broth (makes 2 cups).  When cooked, remove from heat.

Step 3:  Mix together cooked rice, about 3/4 cup chopped green pepper, about 1/2 cup chopped green onion, 1 can drained black beans, 1 can drained whole kernel corn, 1 large can petite diced tomatoes, 1 cup shredded Mexican blend cheese, fresh cilantro to taste, cumin to taste, onion powder to taste, and chili powder to taste.  Transfer to 13 x 9 baking dish.

Step 4:  Top with shredded chicken

Step 5:  Top with another 1/2 cup shredded Mexican blend cheese

Step 6:  Top with sliced jalapenos

Step 7:  Bake at 400 degrees.  (I only warmed it and melted the cheese.  Hubby and I enjoyed the crunch of the raw green pepper.)

Step 8:  Mix ranch dressing with chili powder, coriander, cumin, onion salt, and paprika  to taste.  Drizzle chicken bake with dressing.

This made a full 13 x 9 casserole dish.  For a one-eighth serving, I came up with 341 calories, 9 grams of fat, 37 carbs, and 26 grams of protein.  The calories for the mexi-ranch would be the same as the plain ranch.  My 1 tbsp I topped my chicken bake with came out to 70 calories.

This was ABSOLUTELY delicious!  I’m sorry I dont have exact seasoning measurements for you, but I dont measure when I cook.

Filed under: Dinner Solutions on January 24th, 2010 | 4 Comments »

3 - 100 Calorie Snacks

1)  9:30 AM - 1 Pack Special K Blueberry Crisps (100)

2)  1:30 PM - 11 Southwestern Ranch Baked Lays (100)

3)  3:30 PM - 5 Triscuits (100)

Wow - I’m not feeling “Carby” today, am I??

2 - 200 Calorie SlimFast Shakes

1)  7:30 AM - 1 Fiber One Blueberry Muffin (180), 1 Triscuit (20)

Skipped my breakfast shake because I had Fiber One frozen muffins I REALLY wanted to try.  Since they’re 180 calories each, I couldn’t work one in as a snack, and I really didnt want to eat one for dinner.

2)  11:30 AM - Rich Chocolate Royale Shake (200)

1 - 500 Calorie Sensible Meal

1)  5:30 PM - Homemade Smokey Mexican Chicken Bake, Diced Peaches (500)

Filed under: Food Log on January 24th, 2010 | No Comments »

Today will be a quiet Sunday spent at home.  On my agenda for today:  make a triple batch of chili to be frozen for Hubby’s lunches; do some much needed house cleaning; and laundry.  I should burn some calories on just housework alone, but I REALLY, REALLY want to get in a WATP workout - and maybe YCDP.

I am still stoked about my weight this morning!  189.8 feels so great.  It feels awesome to be in a new decade.  3-2-1 DEFINITELY has me hooked after this week’s loss!  Plus, I honestly haven’t been hungry.  I know that every two hours I get to eat, and that thought keeps me sane and keeps me from food fantasies.

My challenge for the upcoming weeks is going to be planning ahead and making sure I cook at home.  This is for the benefit of both my waistline and our tight budget during hubby’s layoff.  I am hoping that if I can get through the next five weeks without us eating out at all, it will prove we can do it, and will start a new trend going forward, even after hubby is back to work full time.

Well, it’s time to add the beans and tomatoes to the chili - and the clothes need taken out of the dryer.  See you around!

* ** *** **** ***** **** *** ** *

Today went just fine.  I got the chili done - 16 cups of it!  I did almost all the laundry (it never ends with a little one anyway), and I got some good cleaning done.

No workout because I’m pooped.  I feel physically tired today.  I got to sleep in this morning, so I’m rested, but my body is tired.

I wasn’t hungry most of the day.  I invented a new dish for dinner, and it was soooo good.  I just kept wanting to eat more and more of it.  I had a little bite or two here or there while I was cooking.  I managed to stick to my one serving for dinner, but then picked another bite or two while it was cooling off before being put away.  Finally, I just stuck the Gladware in the fridge so it was out of sight, out of mind.  I’ve been feeling very snacky tonight.  I resisted all temptations, but couldnt quit thinking about food, so I got out the baby carrots.  Six or eight later, I feel better.  I’m on my non-active pill week on my birth control, so TOM will be coming again any time now.  I think that is the reason for the snack cravings.

It’s so annoying knowing TOM will be here again this week when I was just bleeding like a week or ten days ago.  If this pills don’t straighten me out soon, I think I’m going to quit taking them.  Hubby and I went three years with me not on any birth control, and I didnt get pregnant.  We literally had to try to conceive our son.

Well, that’s about it.  I’m off to hit the rack early and hopefully shake this tired, aching body by tomorrow.  Let’s hope I’m not coming down with something.

Filed under: Daily Progress on January 24th, 2010 | No Comments »

I’m on a roll this week!

“Official” weight this morning:  189.8!!!!!  Woot!  That’s 3 lbs lost this week!

Let’s hope Week 5 is just as good!!

Filed under: Daily Progress on January 24th, 2010 | No Comments »

It’s hard to believe I’ve been at this 28 days already.  I think my life’s fast-forward button has been stuck on since the birth of my son in April.

Today has been another good day.  It’s day three on 3-2-1.  I have to say, with great surprise, I’m NOT hungry.  I went grocery shopping today and didn’t have my usual starving, buy half of the store feelings.  I got some great, healthy deals that will help with our tight financial situation:  TONS of Yoplait yogurt (four six packs, three four packs); 3 lbs of chicken breasts; 3 lbs of 85/15 ground beef; 4 packs of Johnsonville turkey cheddarwurst (can’t wait to try these); Johnsonville hot sausage; Johnsonville breakfast sausage; Dole fruit cups; Hanover beans; three boxes of Van De Kamps frozen fish fillets; a gallon and a half of milk; Green Giant frozen veggies; 14 Campbell’s soups; 12 jars of Gerber baby food; 2 bags Baked Lays chips, 4 packs of Ziplock containers for freezing meals, and other stuff.  By shopping store sales and using coupons, I managed to only spend $130, AND I got coupons worth $7 off my next shopping trip.  Pretty darn good when you consider $11 of my bill was soda and $10 was batteries!!!

Tonight we’ll be having breakfast for dinner, so it’ll be breakfast sausage, eggs, wheat bread and veggies for me.  Well - baby is awake, so off I go!

* ** *** **** ***** **** *** ** *

Dinner was delicious once again.  I had two scrambled eggs, four sausage links, a serving of baked Alexia fries and a cup of green beans.  Total calories for the day came in right around 1250 again.

No workout tonight.  Baby would not take his afternoon nap today, so he needed to be put to bed early again.  Maybe I’ll shoot for the 30 minute WATP tomorrow to make up for not walking today.

Wish me luck for tomorrow morning’s “official” weigh in!

Filed under: Daily Progress on January 23rd, 2010 | No Comments »

I DID IT!

As of this morning, I am 191.4, making my BMI 29.98!!!! 

I am officially “overweight” rather than “obese!”

~*DOES HAPPY DANCE*~

Lookout “healthy” BMI:  HERE I COME!!!

Filed under: Daily Progress on January 23rd, 2010 | 3 Comments »